Friday, March 30, 2007

A walk around Yarrawonga

Hi everyone, too nice a day to stay indoors today not a cloud in the sky
and not too hot ,so camera in hand off down the main street then along the lake to take a few photo's , then back home did a bit gardening (will be in a later blog).Watched a little football boohoo Merle and Vals team beat mine.
So heres a few Photo's of my home town.

Yarrawonga Shire offices

War memorial in centre of town

The main street see the shire hall down the street
Cutoms houseYarrawonga
Customs Occupied this Building 1892-1910
Which is situated on the side of the traffic Bridge between Yarrawonga Victoria.
and Mulwala New south Wales
below is the sign on side of building.

Traffic bridge
Traffic bridge looking from custom house
Another view of traffic bridge
Yarrawonga Weir
Yachting and Skiing on the lake

skiers on the Lake One of the very few places that has water in there Lake when many places have dried up


Wednesday, March 28, 2007


She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and

On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her
On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful
dining room table by candle-light, put on some soft background music, and
feasted on a pound of prawns, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring-water.
When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a
few half-eaten prawn shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of the
curtain rods.

She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days.
Then slowly, the house began to smell.

They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out.
Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned.
Air fresheners were hung everywhere.

Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.
Nothing worked.
People stopped coming over to visit.
Repairmen refused to work in the house. Finally, they could not take the
stench any longer and decided to move.
A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could
not find a buyer for their stinky house.
Word got out and eventually even the local realtors refused to return
their calls.
Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase
a new place.
The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going.
He told her the saga of the rotting house.

She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.
Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a
price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she
were to sign the papers that very day.
She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.
A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the
moving company pack everything to take to their new home.........
And to spite the ex-wife, they even took the the curtain rods!!!!!!

Mrs. Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin when she met
up with Father Flaherty.
The Father said, "Top o' the mornin' to ye! Aren't ye Mrs. Donovan and
didn't I marry ye and yer husband 2 years ago?"
She replied, "Aye, that ye did, Father."
The Father asked, "And be there any wee ones yet?"
She replied, "No, not yet, Father", and The Father said, "Well now,
I'm going to Rome next week and I'll light a candle for ye and yer
She replied, "Oh, thank ye, Father", They then parted ways.
Some years later they met again.
The Father asked, "Well now, Mrs. Donovan, how are ye these days?"
She replied, "Oh, very well, Father!"
The Father asked, "And tell me, have ye any wee ones?"
She replied, "Oh yes Father, three sets of twins and 4 singles, 10 in
The Father said,"That's wonderful! How is yer loving husband doing?"
She replied, "E's gone to Rome to blow out yer fookin' candle!"



Monday, March 26, 2007


Polish Divorce
A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl.
Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him - "very quick."
The lawyer said that the speed for getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances,and asked him the following questions:
LAWYER: "Have you any grounds?
" POLE: "JA, JA, acre and half and nice little home."
LAWYER: "No," I mean what is the foundation of this case?
" POLE: "It made of concrete.
" LAWYER: "Does either of you have a real grudge?
" POLE: "No, we have carport, and not need one.
" LAWYER : "I mean, What are your relations like?
" POLE: "All my relations still in Poland.
" LAWYER: "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
" POLE: "Ja, we have hi- fidelity stereo set and good DVD player.
" LAWYER: Does your wife beat you up?
" POLE: "No, I always up before her.
" LAWYER: "Is your wife a nagger?
" POLE: "No, she white.
" LAWYER: "WHY do you want this divorce?
" POLE: "She going to kill me." LAWYER: "What makes you think that?
" POLE: "I got proof.
" LAWYER: "What kind of proof?
" POLE: "She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say, 'Polish Remover'"

A fireman is at the station house working outside on the fire truck when he notices little Johnny next door.
Little Johnny is in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the side. He is wearing a fireman's hat and has the wagon tied to a dog.
The fireman says "Hey little boy. What are you doing?" Little Johnny says "I'm pretending to be a fireman and this is my fire truck!"
The fireman walks over to take a closer look.
"Little boy, that sure is a nice fire truck!" the fireman says. "Thanks mister", says little Johnny.
The fireman looks a little closer and notices little Johnny has tied the dog to the wagon by its testicles. "Son", says the fireman, "I don't want to tell you how to run your fire truck, but if you were to tie that rope around the dog's neck I think you could go faster."
Little Johnny says, "You're probably right mister, but then I wouldn't have a siren!"

Paddy was in "New York". He was patiently waiting and watching the traffic cop on a busy
street crossing.

The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted,
"Okay, pedestrians."
Then he'd allow the traffic to pass.
He'd done this several times, and Paddy still stood on the
After the cop had shouted, "Pedestrians!" for the tenth time,
Paddy went over to him and said,
"Is it not about time ye let the Catholics across?"*
Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car gets exhausted.
Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok
Man with one chopstick goes hungry.
Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.


Friday, March 23, 2007

Shoes in Church

Hi Everyone ..Peter called in today for a couple hrs on his way home .,Donna, Brett and Gwen also popped in to see Peter, we spent a lovely couple hrs chatting over a cuppa and looking at photo's of his trip west, As Peter left he said He should be home in Gympie Queensland tomorrow (Saturday) afternoon.

Now to finish off with a little story .

I showered and brushed......... I gazed at my watch with an imotionless sigh.
I got there and sat. In a pew just in time.
Bowing my head in prayer......... As I closed my eyes.
I saw the shoe of the man next to me..... Touching my own.
I sighed.
With plenty of room on either side...... I thought,
"Why must our soles touch?"
It bothered me, his shoe touching mine...
But it didn't bother him much.
A prayer began: "Our Father
" I thought, "This man with the shoes.. has no pride.
They're dusty, worn, and scratched. Even worse, there are holes on the side!"
"Thank You for blessings," the prayer went on.
The shoe man said. a quiet "Amen." I tried to focus on the prayer.
But my thoughts were on his shoes again.
Aren't we supposed to look our best..
When walking through that door?
"Well, this certainly isn't it," I thought, Glancing toward the floor.
Then the prayer was ended And the songs of praise began.
The shoe man was certainly loud Sounding proud as he sang.
His voice lifted the rafters .
His hands were raised high.
The Lord could surely hear..
The shoe man's voice from the sky.
It was time for the offering. And what I threw in was steep.
I watched as the shoe man reached into his pockets so deep.
I saw what was pulled out. What the shoe man put in. Then I heard a soft "clink" as when silver hits tin.
The sermon really bored me To tears, and that's no lie.
It was the same for the shoe man.
For tears fell from his eyes.
At the end of the service.. As is the custom here
We must greet new visitors.. And show them all good cheer.
But I felt moved somehow.And wanted to meet the shoe man.
So after the closing prayer. I reached over and shook his hand.
He was old and his skin was dark. And his hair was truly a mess But I thanked him for coming For being our guest.
He said, "My names' Charlie I'm glad to meet you, my friend.
" There were tears in his eyes But he had a large, wide grin.
"Let me explain," he said.... Wiping tears from his eyes.
"I've been coming here for months.... And you're the first to say 'Hi.'"
"I know that my not like all the rest But I really do try
To always look my best." "I always clean and polish my shoes....Before my very long walk.
But by the time I get here.They're dirty and dusty, like chalk.
" My heart filled with pain.. and I swallowed to hide my tears As he continued to apologize.. For daring to sit so near.
He said, "When I get here.....I know I must look a sight.
But I thought if I could touch you...Then maybe our souls might unite.
" I was silent for a moment...... Knowing whatever was said....Would pale in comparison.
I spoke from my heart, not my head. "Oh, you've touched me," I said......"And taught me, in part; That the best of anyone....Is what is found in his heart."
The rest, I thought this shoe man will never know.
Like just how thankful I really am... That his dirty old shoe touched my soul

It is true 'tis no stronger breast plate than a heart untainted'believe it
A couple of Quotes.
His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.
Mae West

There's no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn't tell you about it?
Kin Hubbard
Anyone who can handle a needle convincingly can make us see a thread which is not there.
E. H. Gombrich

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

A few more plants from my backyard

One of my Zyggies

A smaller planter of succulents

My old wheel barrow turned planter

Birds nest

Another of my Elk horns


Saturday, March 17, 2007

Happy St Patrick's Day

Paddy the Englishman, Paddy the Irishman, Paddy the Scotsman, and Paddy the Welshman were all flying together in an airliner.
The captain announced that they were losing altitude rapidly and that one of them would have to jump out to save the others.
"I do this for the glory of Scotland," said Paddy the Scotsman and he jumped out.
"We need to lose more weight," said the captain, so Paddy the Welshman shouted, "I do this for the glory of Wales," and jumped out.
"Sorry," said the captain. "I'm afraid we need to lose the weight of just one more person."
"I do this for the glory of Ireland," said Paddy the Irishman and threw out Paddy the Englishman
A young Irish girl goes into her priest on Saturday morning for confession.
"Father, forgive me for I have sinned."
"You've Thinnned?"
"Yes, I went out with me boyfriend Friday night. He held me hand twice, kissed me three times, and made love to me two times."
"Daughter! I want you to go straight home, squeeze seven lemons into a glass, and drink it straight down."
"Will that wash away me Thin?"
"No, but it will get the silly smile off your face."

Walking into the bar, 'Mike said to Charlie" the bartender, "Pour me a stiff one "- just had another fight with the little woman.
"Oh yeah?" said Charlie, "And how did this one end?"
When it was over," Mike replied, "She came to me on her hands and knees.
'Really," said Charles, "Now that's a switch! What did she say?"
She said, "Come out from under the bed, you little chicken."*

An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut.
The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.
He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?" "Just water," says the priest.
The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"
The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord!
He's done it again!"


Wednesday, March 14, 2007


Dear Dogs and Cats,
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food.
The other dishes are mine and contain my food
Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
Beating me to the bottom is not the object.
Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this.
Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort.
Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep.
It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible.
I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom.
If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not required.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3 Are easier to train
4. Normally come when called
5. Never ask to drive the car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't want to wear your clothes
10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and...
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.


Thought For The Day
"Good looks catch the eye but a GOOD personality catches the heart.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Anyone for golf

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror
as her ball headed
directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.

The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands
together at his groin,
fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.
The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to
apologize. "Please allow me to
help. I'm a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your
pain if you'd allow me," she told him.

"Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes,"
the man replied. He was in obvious agony,
lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands together
at his groin. At her persistence,
however, he finally allowed her to help.

She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side,
loosened his pants and put her hands inside.

She administered tender and artful massage for several long
moments and asked, "How does that feel"?

He replied, "It feels great, but my thumb still hurts like

Two Scots
Two Scots, Rabby and Angus are playing golf and come upon a water hole.Rabby tees up and hits it into the middle of the pond.He reaches into his bag to find that he is out of balls. He then asks Angus for a ball and proceeds to hit it into the pond as well. This goes on for 3 or 4 more times and when he asks Angus for yet another ball, Angus says."Rabby, theseball cost me a pretty penny,"Rabby replies "Och!, Angus if you cannee afford to play the game, ya shouldnee be out here"

Hole In One
As a young man, Norton was an exceptional golfer.
At the age of 26, however, he decided to become a priest, and joined a rather peculiar ord
. He took the usual vows of poverty,chastity, but his order also required that he quit golf and never play again.
This was particularly difficult for Norton, but he agreed and was finally ordained a priest.
One Sunday morning, the Reverend Father Norton woke up and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf.
So... he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and convinced him to say Mass for him that day.
As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, Father Norton headed out of town to a golf course about forty miles away.
This way he knew he wouldn't accidentally meet anyone he knew from his parish.
Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church!At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed,
"You're not going to let him get away with this, are you?"
The Lord sighed, and said, "No, I guess not."Just then Father Norton hit the ball and it shot straight towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the hole.
It was a 420 yard hole in one! St. Peter was astonished.
He looked at the Lord and asked, "Why did you let him do that?
"The Lord smiled and replied,"Who is he going to tell?"