Saturday, March 17, 2007

Happy St Patrick's Day



FOR THE GLORY OF IRELAND
Paddy the Englishman, Paddy the Irishman, Paddy the Scotsman, and Paddy the Welshman were all flying together in an airliner.
The captain announced that they were losing altitude rapidly and that one of them would have to jump out to save the others.
"I do this for the glory of Scotland," said Paddy the Scotsman and he jumped out.
"We need to lose more weight," said the captain, so Paddy the Welshman shouted, "I do this for the glory of Wales," and jumped out.
"Sorry," said the captain. "I'm afraid we need to lose the weight of just one more person."
"I do this for the glory of Ireland," said Paddy the Irishman and threw out Paddy the Englishman
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A young Irish girl goes into her priest on Saturday morning for confession.
"Father, forgive me for I have sinned."
"You've Thinnned?"
"Yes, I went out with me boyfriend Friday night. He held me hand twice, kissed me three times, and made love to me two times."
"Daughter! I want you to go straight home, squeeze seven lemons into a glass, and drink it straight down."
"Will that wash away me Thin?"
"No, but it will get the silly smile off your face."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
.
Walking into the bar, 'Mike said to Charlie" the bartender, "Pour me a stiff one "- just had another fight with the little woman.
"Oh yeah?" said Charlie, "And how did this one end?"
When it was over," Mike replied, "She came to me on her hands and knees.
'Really," said Charles, "Now that's a switch! What did she say?"
She said, "Come out from under the bed, you little chicken."*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

MIRACLES
An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut.
The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.
He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?" "Just water," says the priest.
The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"
The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord!
He's done it again!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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18 Comments:

Blogger Gattina said...

Ha,ha,ha !I have copied your jokes and will send them to my Irish girlfriend for St. Patrick's !Thanks !

March 17, 2007 12:07 am  
Blogger Gwen said...

Hi Mate.. And all the best for "ST PATS DAY"see you soon xx

March 17, 2007 12:26 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I came across a wonderful Irish company that catch Leprechauns

www.catchaleprechaun.com

Happy St. Patrick's day

March 17, 2007 3:15 am  
Blogger Anita said...

Happy St Patrick's day, Jeannette! (I must admitt that it's quite unknown over here in Germany).

Your Irish jokes are funny - they put a smile on my face... ;-))

Hope to see you again soon at my garden!

March 17, 2007 6:41 am  
Blogger RUTH said...

wonderful humour. I wish we celebrated our patron saint in the same way the Irish do theirs.

March 17, 2007 7:21 am  
Blogger LZ Blogger said...

Happy St. Pattie's Day to you too! I can smell the Corned Beef and Cabbage now! ~ jb///

March 17, 2007 9:49 am  
Blogger Pamela said...

I tell my same joke EVERy Year.

Pat and Mike went to a rally. The fellow that spoke was so exciting and charistmatic that the two of them were mightly impressed.
They talked about it and the speaker for days.

About two weeks out, Mike said, "Pat, do you remember that name of that beautiful orator?"
Pat said, "Hmmm, was it O'malley?"
"No," says Mike, "it could have been O'Flannagan."
Thinking ir may have been O'Riley" Pat responds.

"Oh, No, twas not" said Mike, "I remember now. It was like a fart in the bathtub... ORRRRoooourrrrke"

(You gotta be an R roller to get that one out)

March 17, 2007 4:13 pm  
Blogger Gattina said...

Just drop by to wish you a happy St. Patrick's day ! That's the first time in my life and you are the first one !
Mr. Gattino squatted the TV at 4 am (!!) this morning to watch the Formula 1 in Melbourne !

March 17, 2007 10:51 pm  
Blogger Kali said...

hahaha...thanks for the laughs Jeanette ~ You're a GEM!
I hope you had a wonderful day ~ hugs and best wishes, Kali :)

March 17, 2007 11:10 pm  
Blogger Merle said...

Hi Jan ~~ Thaks for your comments. I am delighted we won the football. Now if we ca just win some more games when the seasn starts. Glad you liked
the Angel story, not mention my story! I liked your Irish jokes too.'
I hope Peter is safe and gets here soon. Take care, Love, Merle.

March 18, 2007 12:18 am  
Blogger Heart of Rachel said...

Happy St. Patrick's Day! How do you celebrate it? It sounds very interesting.

Thank you for visiting earlier. Have a lovely weekend!

March 18, 2007 12:18 am  
Blogger smilnsigh said...

And a Happy St. Patrick's Day to you too!!!

Mari-Nanci

March 18, 2007 12:51 am  
Blogger Raggedy said...

Happy St.Patrick's Day!
I have seen all of these it must be the wee irish in me.
They were all great.
I never tire of a good joke.
Thanks.
Huggles&Love,
Raggedy

March 18, 2007 6:09 am  
Blogger JunieRose2005 said...

Happy St. Patrick's Day!!


Loved the jokes!


Junie

March 18, 2007 6:24 am  
Blogger meggie said...

Hi Jeanette, hope your St Patrick's day went well.
I enjoyed the laughs!

March 18, 2007 9:50 am  
Blogger HORIZON said...

I'm a wee bit late here- was busy with kids yesterday but hope you had a great St. Patrick's Day. :) I'm sure you did :)
Great jokes. Liked the water into wine one-lol
Bests

March 19, 2007 12:59 am  
Blogger Sonia said...

Happy St Patrick's Day as well!

Very funny those jokes! LOL!

March 19, 2007 1:28 am  
Blogger Meow said...

Hope you had a great St Patrics Day, Jen.
Have a wonderful week.
Take care, Meow

March 19, 2007 3:52 pm  

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