Anyone for golf
Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror
as her ball headed
directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.
The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands
together at his groin,
fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.
The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to
apologize. "Please allow me to
help. I'm a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your
pain if you'd allow me," she told him.
"Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes,"
the man replied. He was in obvious agony,
lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands together
at his groin. At her persistence,
however, he finally allowed her to help.
She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side,
loosened his pants and put her hands inside.
She administered tender and artful massage for several long
moments and asked, "How does that feel"?
He replied, "It feels great, but my thumb still hurts like
Two Scots, Rabby and Angus are playing golf and come upon a water hole.Rabby tees up and hits it into the middle of the pond.He reaches into his bag to find that he is out of balls. He then asks Angus for a ball and proceeds to hit it into the pond as well. This goes on for 3 or 4 more times and when he asks Angus for yet another ball, Angus says."Rabby, theseball cost me a pretty penny,"Rabby replies "Och!, Angus if you cannee afford to play the game, ya shouldnee be out here"
Hole In One
As a young man, Norton was an exceptional golfer.
At the age of 26, however, he decided to become a priest, and joined a rather peculiar ord
. He took the usual vows of poverty,chastity, but his order also required that he quit golf and never play again.
This was particularly difficult for Norton, but he agreed and was finally ordained a priest.
One Sunday morning, the Reverend Father Norton woke up and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf.
So... he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and convinced him to say Mass for him that day.
As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, Father Norton headed out of town to a golf course about forty miles away.
This way he knew he wouldn't accidentally meet anyone he knew from his parish.
Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church!At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed,
"You're not going to let him get away with this, are you?"
The Lord sighed, and said, "No, I guess not."Just then Father Norton hit the ball and it shot straight towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the hole.
It was a 420 yard hole in one! St. Peter was astonished.
He looked at the Lord and asked, "Why did you let him do that?
"The Lord smiled and replied,"Who is he going to tell?"