Wednesday, March 14, 2007

PET RULES


Dear Dogs and Cats,
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food.
The other dishes are mine and contain my food
Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
Beating me to the bottom is not the object.
Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this.
Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort.
Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep.
It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible.
I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom.
If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not required.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3 Are easier to train
4. Normally come when called
5. Never ask to drive the car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't want to wear your clothes
10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and...
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thought For The Day
"Good looks catch the eye but a GOOD personality catches the heart.

13 Comments:

Blogger Raggedy said...

Great cartoon!
Now if only the animals could read and understand..lol
The message for the front door is great!
Have a fabulous day!
Huggles

March 15, 2007 6:50 am  
Blogger Val said...

Oh these are good! "Fur"niture! LOL!

March 15, 2007 1:03 pm  
Blogger Pamela said...

Our cat is just starting to be this way and I love it. SHe was 8 when I got her from the animal shelter. It's taken her a year to adjust. NOw she's starting to take over.

March 15, 2007 6:09 pm  
Blogger DellaB said...

hahaha Jen - as if you thought they were listening! The pets, of course, I mean - or - maybe not..

March 15, 2007 10:21 pm  
Blogger judypatooote said...

Great, I love it, it is so true... even if the pet is a dog....I have children, but they have grown and moved away, so my pet Max, is like another child, but much simpilier.. Max is about 12 now, and I dread the day he leaves, but I know I will never live without a pet....what comfort they bring, and never talk back.....and appreciate anything you give them, whether it be a smile, a pat on the back or a biscuit.....I like this post, it is cute.....

March 15, 2007 10:45 pm  
Blogger Gattina said...

Ha,ha,ha, that could be my cats ! In fact I should steal your text and publish it in my cat blog ! BTW when we use the bathroom there is nothing to do, cat Lisa HAS to come in, otherwise she meauws, if necessary for the whole time you stay in there loud and louder and scratches like mad at the door, so finally you give up and let her in otherwise you can replace the door !

March 16, 2007 1:02 am  
Blogger Heart of Rachel said...

That's a really funny cartoon. I enjoyed reading the funny list too.

I like your thought for the day. It's really good to look deeper into a person. Sometimes good looks can really be eye catching but what really holds interest is a great personality.

Thanks for visiting earlier. How nice that we both had a visit at the salon.

March 16, 2007 2:43 am  
Blogger Susie said...

I'm pretty sure Vincent has a set of your rules and has them well memorized. If we had a dog, he'd be selling it too, since he thinks he's the "Prince"
:)

March 16, 2007 2:45 am  
Blogger Jim said...

"Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run." Now we know about that fall you had on holiday, you weren't careful around the competition.
..
Oh yes, my heart was caught by my stomach's pleasure. [Mrs. Jim is a wonderful cook!][Cute too!]
..

March 16, 2007 9:07 am  
Blogger JunieRose2005 said...

;) LOVE THAT CARTOON!

March 16, 2007 11:34 am  
Blogger Gina E. said...

LOL Jeanette, between your gorgeous photos and your killer jokes, your blog has to be one of the most entertaining blogs on the Web!! Love it! Thanks for visiting me and leaving comments.
Hugs!

March 16, 2007 4:25 pm  
Blogger Merle said...

Hi Jan ~~ Great jokes about pets and people. Thanks for your visit and glad you liked te jokes. I hope Peter will arrive about Monday or maybe Tuesday. We always enjoy each other's company these days, we didn't
as kids. I am well again and hope you are too. Hope all your results were good ones. Take care, Love, Merle.

March 16, 2007 8:11 pm  
Blogger Margaret said...

Just loved the pet joke, the others were very funny, but that was just great. Cheers Margaret

March 18, 2007 3:21 pm  

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