Monday, December 21, 2009

Christmas



Gday Everyone.
I hope all is well where ever you may be , and your'e all well underway with your Christmas preparations. I am very well , my eyes are improving everyday I have been able to get tested for new glasses now just waiting for a phone call to say their ready so i can pick them up Hopefully just after Christmas .

This will be my last post for a little while as I will be going over to Carol's spending Christmas Eve /Day with her and her family. .Then returning home as from the 26th Gary,Joanne and their families and friends will be visiting and staying with me over the Christmas /New Year holidays. So a lot of fun and lots of laughter will be had by all, along the way I promise to take a lot of photo's and Blog them on my return.


I would like to wish you all
A Very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year
.


Now to end with a few jokes .

First Christmas Joke

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Pete r at the pearly gates.
'In honour of this holy season' Saint Pete r said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.
' The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It represents a candle', he said.
'You may pass through the pearly gate' Saint Peter said.
The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys.
He shook them and said, 'They're bells.'
Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'.
The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.
St. Pete r looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And just what do those symbolize?'
The man replied, 'These are Carols.'
And So The Christmas Season Begins.. />

~~~~~~~~~~

The lost Bagpiper


As a bagpiper, I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man who had no family or friends.
The funeral was to be held at a cemetery in the remote countryside and this man would be the first to be laid to rest there.
As I was not familiar with the backwoods area, I became lost and being a typical man, did not stop for directions.
I finally arrived an hour late.
I saw the backhoe and the crew who were eating lunch but the hearse was nowhere in sight.
I apologized to the workers for my tardiness and stepped to the side of the open grave where I saw the vault lid already in place.
I assured the workers I would not hold them up for long but this was the proper thing to do.
The workers gathered around, still eating their lunch.
I played out my heart and soul.
As I played the workers began to weep.
I played and I played as if I'd never played before, from Going Home and
The Lord is My Shepherd to Flowers of the Forest.
I closed the lengthy session with Amazing Grace and walked to my car
. As I was opening the door and taking off my coat, I overheard one of the workers saying to another, Sweet Jeezuz, Mary 'n Joseph, I have never seen nothin' like that before and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years.
~~~~~~~~~~

Lubricant

Murphy's' old lady had been pregnant for some time and now the time had come.
He brought her to the doctor and the doctor began to deliver the baby.
She had a little boy, and the doctor looked over at Murphy and said. 'Hey, Murph! You just had you a son,!
'Ain't dat grand, !!' Murphy got excited by this,
but just then the doctor spoke up and said, 'Hold on! We ain't finished yet, !'The doctor then delivered a little girl.
He said, 'Hey, Murph! You got you a daughter, !!!! She is a pretty lil ting, too....'Murphy got kind of puzzled by this and then the doctor said, 'Hold on, we aint got done yet, !'
The doctor then delivered another boy and said, 'Murph, you just had yourself another boy, !'
Murphy said to the doctor, 'Doc, what caused all of dem babies,?'
The doctor said, 'You never know Murph, it was probably something that happened during conception.'
Murphy said, 'Ah yeah, during conception.'
When Murph and his wife went home with their three children, he sat down with his wife and said,
'Mama, you remember dat night that we ran out of Vaseline and we had to use dat dere 3-in-1 Oil.'
She said, 'Yeah, I remember dat night...'Murph said, 'I'll tell you, ....it's a Bloody good ting we didn't use WD-40.

~~~~~~~~~~

Little Johnny

A woman answered her front door and found Little Johnny holding a list."Lady," Johnny explained, "I'm on a scavenger hunt, and I still need three grains of wheat, a pork-chop bone and a piece of used carbon paper so I can earn a dollar.""Wow," the woman replied. "Who sent you on such a challenging hunt?""My babysitter's boyfriend."
~~~~~~~~~

A smile is a sign of joy.
A hug is a sign of love.
A laugh is a sign of happiness.

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17 Comments:

Blogger Hootin' Anni said...

Have the best Christmas EVER!!! Enjoy your holiday with Carol.

December 21, 2009 11:23 pm  
Blogger Marjorie said...

Merry Christmas- Happy New Year.

I hope you and family will have a fun time together.

It is a wonderful time of the year.

A warm Christmas for you and a very cold, snowing, one for us here in Maine,USA.

I'm glad your eyes are healing nicely, best Christmas present you could receive.

December 22, 2009 12:07 am  
Blogger Winifred said...

Have a lovely Christmas. That's a nice present being able to see so well.

Me, I've bought myself an illuminated magnifying glass!

December 22, 2009 10:03 am  
Blogger Janice said...

Merry Christmas Jeannette, and have a happy and prosperous New Year.

Janice~

December 22, 2009 4:49 pm  
Blogger Peter said...

Merry Christmas Jan, glad to hear your eyes are improving, take care.
Hugs to all.

December 23, 2009 12:53 pm  
Blogger PEA said...

Dear Jen, so happy to see you back to blogging again and to hear that your eyes are improving every day:-) I'm sorry I haven't come to welcome you back sooner than this but the Christmas preparations took most of my spare time!!

Loved the jokes, they had me laughing out loud! hehe

Wishing you and yours a very Merry Christmas and may all your dreams come true during this magical season! xoxo

December 24, 2009 5:22 am  
Anonymous Charlotte said...

Hi Jen,
I haven't been around in awhile. Looks like I missed quite a bit. I'll try not to stay away so long this time.
Thanks for the laughs.
The stage on my Blue Monday was just decorated that way for the whole Christmas season. Every Sunday in December is carol time and we have special programs on other days.
Have a very Merry Christmas.
Charlotte

December 24, 2009 7:35 am  
Blogger Gina E. said...

Dear Jen,
It sounds like you're off to a great start to Christmas and the New Year, with improved vision, and surrounded by friends and family! Best wishes for a wonderful Christmas, and a safe and happy New Year.
Gina
xxxxxxxxx

December 25, 2009 1:17 am  
Blogger Lady Di Tn said...

Sounds like fun filled holidays. Merry Christmas to you and yours. Peace

December 25, 2009 3:21 am  
Blogger Heart of Rachel said...

Hi Jen. Wishing you and your family a joyous Christmas. Hope you'll have a great time with the family. God bless.

December 25, 2009 2:33 pm  
Blogger Puss-in-Boots said...

Merry Christmas, Jen. Have a wonderful time with your family.

Hugs

December 26, 2009 12:35 pm  
Blogger Pamela said...

so relieved to hear your eyes are doing well!

The joke about the wd-40 reminds me of the one where the birth took place on a stormy night and the electricity went out. So Murphy held a lantern up so the doctor could deliver the baby. When the third one popped out Murph said he was turning out the light. The Doctor said "Why did you do that?" and Murph replied, "I think the light was attracting them!"

December 29, 2009 9:05 am  
Blogger LZ Blogger said...

Jan ~ Where ever you are... I hope you are enjoying your holidays and time off! See ya next year! ~ jb///

December 30, 2009 3:03 am  
Blogger Merle said...

Dear Jan ~~ So glad your eyes have come good at last and I hope you have the new glasses and can REALLY see. Enjoy your time with your family. I had a great week with Kathy and her family.
Loved the jokes - I think the piper and the septic tank was my favorite
- so funny. Take great care dear friend.Much love, Merle.

December 30, 2009 11:01 pm  
Blogger Dick said...

A belated Merry Christmas but I will wish you a Happy New Year on the right day, at least here in my time zone.

I'm glad that you have resolved your eye problem. My Pat recently resolved a problem with her eyes with a visit to the cardiologist who took her off one of the meds she has been on quite awhile. Sometimes it can be the simplest thing!

January 02, 2010 8:33 am  
Blogger Jim said...

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Hi Jan, I do hope everything is well and you are having a very nice visit with your company. Since this is Sunday night (here) I am thinking they will be going their way now.

I am sure that Cazz fed you well for Christmas too. I'll check sooner next time as you will write I know. Tonight?
..

January 04, 2010 12:57 pm  
Blogger Ruthie said...

Happy new year to you. Glad you had a wonderful holiday.

January 05, 2010 1:24 pm  

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