My Tapestries

Hi Everybody, I am going on holidays from friday 29th June for approximately 2 weeks.I am heading to Melbourne 1st then Flying to Queensland, and while there I'm hoping to catch up with Peter.So I will catch up with you all on my return home. .

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I am very happy receiving the Rockin' Girl Blogger award from HootinAnni. I feel truly happy being the recipient of this lovely award and thoughtful recognition.

This is what Hootin Anni Wrote

What can I say about Jeanette's blog...First I love the music when her blog opens for me! It really puts me in good spirits! Along with some wonderful Aussie humor, she has shown us her wonderful work in her yard and gave a lot of insight for me as I love to garden too!!

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Now to end with my Tapestries Click on all to enlarge..

This one is the very 1st tapesty I had tackled I wondered if I would ever finish this its hard to pick up the path and all the flowers, but as you can see went ahead finished it and then the ones below

The Major and The Piper these were My Alan's Favorite I was ask did I want to sell this pair, I declined then I was ask would I make another set I also Declined.this pair measure 26x16inches or 40x66cms They are both the same size and same frame.

The Major

Well what can I say about this one I never wore glasses till I was doing this so much black and chocolate brown all blended together on the bull 20x24 inches or50cmx62

Sorry about the flash but tryed to get close to show the splicing and fading of colours. this is the 1st one I had tryed using this technique,sometimes you had to splice and use 4 colours in the same needle. I think it turned out ok. same size as bullfighter.

HOOROO For now. Jen

A FEW JOKES

Two accountants met in a bar.
One said to the other:
"I noticed you got here on a Harley. Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second accountant replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a stunningly beautiful woman rode up on this bike.
She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want.", so I took the bike.
The first accountant nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't fit you."
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The nursing home
An Arab family was considering putting their grandfather in a nursing home.
Since most of the facilities were completely full, they had to put him in a Jewish home.
After a few weeks in the Jewish facility, they came to visit grandpa.
"How do you like it here?" asks the grandson."It's wonderful! Everyone here is so courteous and respectful," says grandpa."We're so happy for you.
We were worried that this was the wrong place for you.
You know, since you are a little different from everyone.""Oh, no! Let me tell you about how wonderfully they treat the residents here," grandpa says with a big smile.
"There's a musician here -- he's 85 years old.He hasn't played the violin in 20 years and everyone still calls him 'Maestro'!""There is a judge in here -- he's 95 years old. He hasn't been on the bench in 30 years and everyone still calls him 'Your Honor'!"And there's a physician here -- 90 years ! old.He hasn't been practicing medicine for 25 years and everyone still calls him 'Doctor'!""And what about you Grandpa" - asks the grandson."And me...., I haven't had sex for 35 years and they still call me 'The f***king Arab!'

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SAY A PRAYER
Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his
Grandmother's house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food
was being served. When little Johnny received his plate, he started
eating right away.
Johnny
wait until we say our prayer."
"I don't have to," The boy replied. "Of course, you do," his mother
insisted. "We say a prayer, before eating, at our house."
"That's our house," Johnny explained.
But this is Grandma's house and she knows how to cook!

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What is in a Word ?
An elderly couple had been dating each other for a long time.
At the urging of their friends, they decided it was finally time for
marriage.
Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long
conversation regarding how their marriage might work.
They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on.
Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject
of their physical relationship.
"How do you feel about sex?" he asked, rather tentatively.
"Well," she said, responding very carefully, "I'd have to say...I
would like it infrequently."
The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment and then over his
glasses, he looked her in the eye and casually asked "Is that one word or two?"

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Aussie slang
"avago" = Have a go"Avago, ya mug"= (Have a go, you mug)

"barbie"=Barbecue "Throw a yabbie on the barbie"

"ankle biter" = young child "She has an ankle biter to feed"

"banana bender"= Queenslander...because they grow lots of banana's inQueensland"He's a banana bender"

"battler"= One who struggles for a living "What a tough battler!"

"beaut" = Thats Beaut...!beautiful""billy"= Tin container used for boiling water to make tea"Can you pass the billy?"

"billabong"=Waterhole in semi-dry river"And his ghost may be seen roaming at the billabong" (from "Waltzing Matilda)"bickie"=Lets have a bickie biscuit

My Handy Work

Hi Everyone, I have had a couple of quiet days ,visited my Sister Pauline who insisted I stay for dinner she cooked Roast leg of lamb with plenty of veg, my favorite meal it was Delicious and also went to see my friend Gwen. It was too cold to be outside today we had a low of -2 celius at 7am high of 11celius with very icy winds bbbrrrrr. Gwen, Brian (Gwens Husband)invited Pauline and Myself too lunch at the Club, after lunch we all played indoor carpet bowls, we all had a good day the team Pauline and Brian were in, were the winners of the day.

I have just watched my football team have its 1st win of the season. Go Tigers!!

Tonight thought I would just show a little of my handy work.

this was a kit I bought at a trash and treasure complete with cottons it was a little grubby so 1st was too embroider, wash then make and fill pillow,

next was to make these,Goldylocks and the three bears

Above: All finished.

Below: a few Table cloths I have Embroided

This is 8 placing table cloth I made and gave my Daughter Joanne

This 1 I made for my daughter Carol.

A close up of Carols

2, Of many doily sets I have made, I also made a Table cloth in this Orchid Pattern for daughter Donna

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A Little Aussie Humour

Max Brown, a young father-to-be, was waiting anxiously outside the maternity ward where his wife was producing their first baby.
As he paced the floor, a nurse popped her head round the door. "You've a little boy, Mr. Brown," she said, "But we think you'd better go and have a cup of coffee because there might be another!" Max turned a little pale and left.
Some time later, he rang the hospital and was told he was the father of twins. "But," the nurse went on, "We're sure there's another on the way.
Ring back again in a little while."
At that, Max decided that coffee was not nearly strong enough.
He ordered a few beers and rang the hospital again, only to be told a 3rd baby had arrived and a fourth was imminent.
Whitefaced, he stumbled to the bar and ordered a double scotch.
Twenty minutes later, he tried the phone again, but he was in such a state that he dialed the wrong number and got the recorded cricket score.
When they picked him up off the floor of the phone box, the recording was still going strong: "The score is 96 all out, and the last one was a duck."
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A motorist was driving quietly along the road when, suddenly, his eyes goggled as, believe it or not, he espied a three-legged chook running beside him.

It suddenly made a right hand turn, heading up a side track towards a nearby farm house. Intrigued, the motorist decided to follow the chook.

At the end of the track, he met a farmer leaning on a gate.
The motorist said, “You probably won’t believe this, but I reckon I saw a three-legged chook running this way".

The farmer was nonchalant in response. “Yep, we breed them here.”“But why?” asked the motorist.

Well, you see, I like a leg, my wife likes a leg, and me son likes a leg.”

“And what do they taste like?”“Dunno”, replied the farmer, “no one can catch the little bastards.”

[Chook = chicken in Aussie lingo]

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"HERE'S A COUPLA GOOD OL AUSSIE SAYINGS"
"A bit more choke and you would've started mate" - (when someone farts loudly in public).
"A few kangaroos loose in the top paddock" - (a bit slow ).
"As happy as a dog in a hub-cap factory"
"As nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs".
"As dry as a dead dingo's donger" - (very thirsty).
"As useful as an ashtray on a motorbike" - (unhelpful person).
"Away with the pixies" - (daydreaming).
"Bloody Oath!" - (that's true).
"Better ask me cheese and kisses" - (better ask the Mrs).
"Bite your bum" - (Be quiet).
"Bob's your Uncle" - (it will be alright).
"Carry on like a pork chop" - (behave foolishly).
"Chuck a Sickie" - (Take the day off work when you're perfectly healthy).
"Chuck a Leftie" - (Turn left).
"Chuck a Yewie" - (Do a U-turn).
"Chuck a Wobbly" - (Get angry).
"Drink with the flies" - (To drink alone).
"Don't come the raw prawn with me mate" - (Don't attempt to deceive me).
"Drown some worms" - (Go fishing).
"Don't get your knickers in a knot" - (Don't get agitated).
"Every bastard and his dog was there, mate" - (It was crowded).
"Flat out like a lizard drinking" - (Very busy).
"Fair crack of the whip" - (Fair go).
"Five finger discount" - (Shoplifting).
"He couldn't fight his way out of a paper bag" - (He's weak).
"He couldn't run a bath" - (Hopeless at running a business).
"He's as confused as a pick-pocket at a nudist camp".
"I could eat a horse and chase the jockey mate " - (I'm very hungry).
"I think I'll make like a guillotine and head off " - (I'm going home).
"Pig's arse" - ( I don't agree with you).
"We're in the middle of bloody woop-woop mate" - (we're lost).
That's it mate, so hooroo from all of us !

Chickens and eggs

Hi Everyone, Another couple of busy days went to see my Oncologist yesterday, well to say the least im over the moon with my news. instead of the 3 to 6 monthly checkups, Kerry was very pleased with my progress and next check up 12months. Yippeee..So today off to the Gym this morning for light exercise home for lunch then off to indoor (Carpet) Bowls this afternoon.on the way home did a little food shopping, called to see my friend Gwen who is not feeling very well.then home to my nice warm house. Central heating running non stop for winter.

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Now To Finish off with a little humour

Chickens and eggs
John the farmer was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young hens, called pullets and eight or ten roosters, whose job was to fertilize the eggs. The farmer kept records and any rooster that didn't perform went into the soup pot and was replaced.

That took an awful lot of his time so he bought a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone so John could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.

The farmer's favorite rooster was old Butch, a very fine specimen he was, too. But on this particular morning John noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all! John went to investigate.

The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover. But to Farmer John's amazement, Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.

John was so proud of Butch, he entered him in the county fair and Butch became an overnight sensation among the judges.

The result...The judges not only awarded Butch the "No Bell Piece Prize" but they also awarded him the "Pulletsurprise" as well

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Sunday morning Sex....
I will never hear church bells ringing again without smiling.

Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie
went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95-year-old
grandmother and comfort her.

When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied,
"He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."

Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old
having sex would surely be asking for trouble.

"Oh no, my dear," replied granny: "Many years ago, realizing our
advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when thechurch
bells would start to ring ... it was just the right rhythm - Nice and
slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong."

She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued: "He'd still be alive
today if the ice cream truck hadn't come along."

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The Alabama preacher said to his Congregation,"Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan.

This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate.

I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this.

Now, I want the party who did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian family."No one moved.

The preacher continued,

"Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood?Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory.

Now stand and confess your transgression."Again all was quiet.

Then slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop traffic rose from the third pew.

Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke, "Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a membe rof the Ku Klux Klan.

I simply told a couple of my friends you were a wizard under the sheets.

"The preacher fainted, and the congregation roared.

Nail in the fence

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper.

His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his
temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.

The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence.

Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down.

He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.
Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all.

He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.

The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.

The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence He said,

"You have done well, my son", but look at the holes in the fence.

The fence will never be the same.

When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one.

You can put a knife in a man and draw it out.
It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is still there.

" A verbal wound" is as bad as a physical one.

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Granny in Court
Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand.

He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams.

I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned!

Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?" She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too.

He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state.

Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."

The defense attorney almost died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric chair .

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A husband walks into Victoria Secret to purchase some sheer lingerie for
his wife. He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500
in price; the more it is sheer, the higher the price.
He opts for the
one that is most sheer, pays the $500 and takes the lingerie home. He
presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on and model it
for him.
upstairs, the wife thinks, "I have an idea. It's so sheer that it might
as well be nothing. I won't put it on, I'll do the modelling naked,
return it tomorrow and keep the $500 refund for myself."
So she appears
naked on the balcony and strikes a pose.
The husband says,
"Good Lord! You'd think that for $500, they'd at least iron it!"
He never heard the shot. Funeral on Friday.

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A Little Quote

Friends are very rare jewels, indeed.

They make you smile and encourage you to succeed.
They lend an ear, they share words of praise
and they always want to open their hearts to us."

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A LITTLE QUOTE
You realise time waits for no one.

Treasure every moment you have.
You will treasure it even more when
You can share it with someone special.

My Fuchsia's

Hello everyone.. I hope your day has been good and you all feel as happy as I feel today. I went to see my Doctor today for check up and get my results from last Wednesday's 30th May, Colonoscopy,and Monday's blood tests, I am very pleased to report all good results . I dont have to go back for another 3 months. Now to finish this post on a very happy note with a few of my lovely Fuchsia's Click to enlarge all photo's

"R.A.F" Double Rose pink veined

above"Susan Young" Mauve Semi Double

"Kit Oxtoby" Soft pink. Mauve/ Pink trailer

"Jack Stanaway" Varigated Pink/White masses of tiny flowers ..

"Lord byron"Single dwarf upright cerise /very dark purple, small blooms

A little more of my backyard

Hi everyone, the cold weather is now upon us with snow in the alps ,and my central heating now going night and day keeping the house nice and cosy. Today I went shopping then popped into my sisters for a cuppa and a chat after having a quiet few days.
Now on with tonights post.

To cold to swim pool Cover on.
Ducks come for another visit and wonder were the waters gone.

Oh what a mess my shade mesh was getting very tattered so i had it replaced.

One of My Ziggies comming into flower

this fuchsia got a knocked around when workmen were repairing shade mesh

and to end with the sun setting in a wintery sky

Sunsetting in a wintery sky over backyard

A little humour

HI everyone. Firstly let me thank you all for your prayers and well wishes For my Brother and myself .Well I have good news after my test was bought forward due to a few problems. now with a big sigh of relief, I can report all clear, I go for blood tests Monday and see Oncologist on the 14th June for routine check up and expect good news from this visit.

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Now to finish on a lighter note with a couple of jokes.

A female dwarf goes to a doctor complaining of an
embarrassing itch in the groin area.
The doctor looks her up and down, picks her up and
stands her on his desk.
He lifts up her skirt and puts his head under. A
little perplexed, she hears snip, snip, snip, snip.
The doctor emerges from under her skirt.
"How's that?

"Well, it's a lot better actually,
but...........it's still there."
Undaunted, he dives back under her skirt.
Snip, snip, snip, snip.
Out he comes.
"How's that?" he asks again more confident.

That,s wonderful! What did you do?"
"I trimmed the top of your Ugg boots."

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THE RABBIT

A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road he swerves to avoid hitting it,but unfortunately
The rabbit jumps right in front of the car.
The driver,a sensitive man as well as an animal lover,pulls over and gets out to see
What has become of the rabbit,much to his dismay,
The rabbit is dead.
The driver feels so awful that he begins to cry.
A beautiful blonde woman driving down the highway sees a man crying on the side of the road and pulls over.
She steps out of her car and asks the man what's wrong.
I feel terrible," !He explains,I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it."

The blonde says,
Don't worry."she runs to her car and pulls out a spray can,she walks over to the limp, dead rabbit,bends down,and sprays the contents onto the rabbit.
The rabbit jumps up,waves its paw at the two of them and hops off down the road.
Ten feet away the rabbit stops,turns around and waves again,
he hops down the road another 10 feet, turns and waves, hops another ten feet, turns and waves,
And repeats this again and again and again,until he hops out of sight.
The man is astonished.
He runs over to the woman and demands,
What is in that can?What did you spray on that rabbit?"
The woman turns the can around so that the man can read the label.
It says.. Are you sure your ready for it ?

V

(It's definitely a Blonde Joke!)

OK, here it is

v

It says,

Hair Spray -

Restores life to dead hair,
And adds permanent wave

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Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.

- Caryn Leschen -

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

- Maryon Pearson-

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.

-Eleanor Roosevelt-

When life hands you lemons, ask for tequila and salt and call me over!!