Thursday, June 14, 2007

Chickens and eggs

Hi Everyone, Another couple of busy days went to see my Oncologist yesterday, well to say the least im over the moon with my news. instead of the 3 to 6 monthly checkups, Kerry was very pleased with my progress and next check up 12months. Yippeee..So today off to the Gym this morning for light exercise home for lunch then off to indoor (Carpet) Bowls this afternoon.on the way home did a little food shopping, called to see my friend Gwen who is not feeling very well.then home to my nice warm house. Central heating running non stop for winter.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~``
Now To Finish off with a little humour




Chickens and eggs
John the farmer was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young hens, called pullets and eight or ten roosters, whose job was to fertilize the eggs. The farmer kept records and any rooster that didn't perform went into the soup pot and was replaced.

That took an awful lot of his time so he bought a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone so John could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.

The farmer's favorite rooster was old Butch, a very fine specimen he was, too. But on this particular morning John noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all! John went to investigate.

The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover. But to Farmer John's amazement, Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.

John was so proud of Butch, he entered him in the county fair and Butch became an overnight sensation among the judges.

The result...The judges not only awarded Butch the "No Bell Piece Prize" but they also awarded him the "Pulletsurprise" as well


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sunday morning Sex....
I will never hear church bells ringing again without smiling.

Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie
went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95-year-old
grandmother and comfort her.

When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied,
"He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."

Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old
having sex would surely be asking for trouble.

"Oh no, my dear," replied granny: "Many years ago, realizing our
advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when thechurch
bells would start to ring ... it was just the right rhythm - Nice and
slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong."

She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued: "He'd still be alive
today if the ice cream truck hadn't come along."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Alabama preacher said to his Congregation,"Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan.
This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate.
I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this.
Now, I want the party who did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian family."No one moved.
The preacher continued,
"Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood?Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory.
Now stand and confess your transgression."Again all was quiet.
Then slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop traffic rose from the third pew.
Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke, "Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a membe rof the Ku Klux Klan.
I simply told a couple of my friends you were a wizard under the sheets.
"The preacher fainted, and the congregation roared.

Labels:

17 Comments:

Blogger Peter said...

Can't trust those ice cream trucks!!

June 15, 2007 11:38 pm  
Blogger Puss-in-Boots said...

Hahahahaha! Jeanette, loved the sex on Sunday mornings...I know what you mean by the bells ringing, but now I'll hear the Home Icecream truck and my mind will go into overdrive!

Have a lovely weekend.

June 15, 2007 11:54 pm  
Blogger Susie said...

Good news on your checkup! :)
Bill and I loved the Sunday morning joke. Too funny!!
xo

June 16, 2007 3:00 am  
Blogger JunieRose2005 said...

Great news on your check-up.

And those jokes were all very funny! :)

I liked the Alabama preacher one best!


Junie

June 16, 2007 3:18 am  
Blogger RUTH said...

I was so pleased to hear your good news...made me smile even more than your jokes did...have a really happy weekend.
Rx

June 16, 2007 4:17 am  
Blogger Raggedy said...

Woooooooohooooooooooo! on yuor test reasults! Fantrsatic news!!!
It is dern hard to find a joked i haevent heard. The chiekcn eand the eggs one is a new and i laruffed perfy hard at theta one.. I heards the otherd but i luauffed agian cuazse they werf funnie too.
Have a wonderful day!
*^_^
(=':'=) hugs
(")_ (")Š from
the Cool Raggedy one

June 16, 2007 11:16 am  
Blogger Pamela said...

wizard... ha.

June 16, 2007 4:37 pm  
Blogger Meow said...

Brilliant news about your check up ... whoo hoo, bet you're pleased.
Loved the church bell joke ... too funny. Thanks.
Hope Yarrawonga isn't too cold ...
Take care, Meow

June 16, 2007 8:05 pm  
Blogger Merle said...

Dear Jan ~~ I am so thrilled about your news from the Oncologist. That
is really terrific. I have had trouble commenting so am a bit late.
But you know much I wanted to hear this good news. The jokes were great too. I hadn't heard the chicken one either. Take care and have a wonderful Sunday. Much love, Merle.

June 17, 2007 12:26 am  
Blogger Steve G said...

Good health to you. Thanks for the laughs you got out of me today.

June 17, 2007 12:41 am  
Blogger meggie said...

Great news for you Jen!

June 17, 2007 6:25 am  
Blogger Val said...

Well, Jen, after complaining to Merle and Peter that I couldn't laugh or cry when reading their jokes and stories (because I was still upset by the result of Friday night's game), I must say that that Sunday sex story made me LOL!

Great news about your less frequent checkups too!

June 17, 2007 2:41 pm  
Blogger Merle said...

Hi again Jan ~~ Thhanks for your comments glad you enjoyed the post.
Still very happy for your results.
The footy on Friday night was awful, but like Arnie "We'll be back" I
hope Richmond soon has a win, so long as it's not against Carlton!!
Take great care Jan, Love, Merle.

June 17, 2007 5:42 pm  
Blogger smilnsigh said...

Such wonderful news on your checkup!! Yesssssssssssssssssssssssss!!!!

Hugs,
Mari-Nanci

June 18, 2007 12:48 am  
Blogger Sonia A. Mascaro said...

Such a great news about your checkup! Cheers!

Thanks for your nice comment about the Sunset's photos!

June 18, 2007 5:25 am  
Blogger Jim said...

Glad to hear the good news on your checkup. These might be classics, but I hadn't heard the blonde KKK joke. That's how rumors get started.
..

June 18, 2007 1:01 pm  
Blogger Renae said...

Awesome news about your checkup!!!! I'm so pleased.
Roared laughing at the jokes!!! I must remember these for work today!!! Way to funny . Have a terrific day!!!
Renae

June 21, 2007 1:02 am  

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