A Little laughter

ROSES & HANGING BASKETS

A teenage granddaughter Comes downstairs for her date With this see-through blouse on and no bra.

Her grandmother just pitched a fit,Telling her not to dare go out like that!

The teenager tells her!

'Loosen up Grams.

These are modern times .You gotta let your rose buds show!'And out she goes.

The next day the teenager comes down stairs,and the grandmother is sitting there with no top on.

The teenager wants to die.

She explains to her grandmother That she has friends coming over and that it is just not appropriate....

The grandmother says,'Loosen up, Sweetie.

If you can show off your rose buds

,Then I can display my hanging baskets.

Happy Gardening.

~~~~~~~`

Not My Drink!

There's this guy on a bar, just looking at his drink.

He stays like that for half-an-hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down.
The poor man starts crying.

The truck driver says: "Come on man, I was just joking.

Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't see a man crying."
"No, it's not that.

This day is the worst of my life.

First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office.

My boss, outrageous, fires me.

When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen.

The police, they say they can do nothing.

I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there.

The cab driver just drives away.

I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener.

I leave home, and come to this bar.

And when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison..."

~~~~~~~~~~`

PHILOSOPHY OF HOUSECLEANING!

I don't do windows because ...
I love birds and don't want one to run into a clean window and get hurt.

I don't wax floors because ...
I am terrified a guest will slip and get hurt then I'll feel terrible( plus they may sue me.)

I don't mind the dust bunnies because ...

They are very good company, I have named most of them, and they agree with everything I say

I don't disturb cobwebs because .
I want every creature to have a home of their own.

I don't Spring Clean because .

I love all the seasons and don't want the others to get jealous

I don't pull weeds in the garden because ..

I don't want to get in God's way, HE is an excellent designer!
I don't put things away because .

My husband will never be able to find them again.

I don't do gourmet meals when I entertain because

. I don't want my guests to stress out over what to make when they invite me over for dinner.

I don't iron because ...

I choose to believe them when they say

"Permanent Press".

I don't stress much on anything because ...

A Type" personalities die young and I want to stick around and become a wrinkled up crusty ol' woman!!!!

~~~~~~~~~~

REMEMBER . . . .

Penny's Update

Hi everybody, most of you know I was given a Maltese Shtzu pup (Penny)for mothers day by my family.Well she keeps me on my toes, with training her to go out side, Vet visits for her injections. And of course I enrolled her into puppy school which we attended every Wednesday evening for 1hr. Last night was graduation where the trainer put her through a few paces,and she did every command that was ask of her. Also bringing in a very large dog to see her reaction towards it, penny just played around its feet, the trainer was very impressed with her progress and then we were handed Graduation certificates and a bag of goodies.

Of course Penny was rewarded with a few treats along the way..

Her bag of goodies

These are the contents in her bag.

Penny after her bath

with her favorite toy

Penny sitting showing off her name tag the blue one is to say she has been microchipped for life. the next step is to register her with local council...

Cheerio for now cheers \_/ \_/

A Little Senior Merriment

A little laughter Folks!

^*^*^*^*^*

Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning.

Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel's ear and she said,'

Mabel, do you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?"

Mabel answered, "I have a suppository in my ear?" She pulled it out and stared at it

.Then she said, "Ethel, I'm glad you saw this thing.

Now I think I know where to find my hearing aid."

~*~*~*~*

A couple had been married for 50 years.

They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together.

""I know," the old man said.

"We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago.

""Well," Granny snickered.

"Let's relive some old times."

Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table."You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago."

"I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps.

One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal."

~*~*~*~*

An old couple who hadn't celebrated Halloween in a long time decided to dress up and go out.
The old woman went into her bedroom, stripped naked and tied a lemon between her legs.
When she came out, the old man cried, "You can't go out like that!"She said, "I can go anyway I like and so can you
."Where upon he retired to the bedroom and came out stark raving naked with a potato tied to his tally whacker.
The old woman says, "You're going out like that?"And he replies, "Yep, if you can go as a sour-puss, I can go as adick-tator."
^*^*^*^*^

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades.

Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures.

Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.

One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me.

I know we've been friends for a long time.....but I just can't think of your name!I've thought and thought,

but I can't remember it.please tell me what your name is.

"Her friend glared at her.

For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her.

Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"

*~*~*~*~*~*

An elderly couple were on a cruise and it was really stormy.
They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon, when a wave came up and washed the old woman overboard.
They searched for days and couldn't find her, so the captain sent the old man back to shore with the promise that he would notify him as soon as they found something.
Three weeks went by and finally the old man got a fax from the boatIt read: "Sir, sorry to inform you, we found your wife dead at the bottom of the oceanWe hauled her up to the deck and attached to her butt was an oyster and in it was a pearl worth $50,000 . . please advise.
" The old man faxed back: "Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap"

^*^*^*^*^*^*

THE SENILITY PRAYER
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,and the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Cheers \_/ \_/ \_/

THE THREE LITTLE PIGS

Hi Everyone ,A little laughter tonight.

The Three Little Pigs

Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night.

The waiter came and took their drink order.

'I would like a Sprite,' said the first little piggy.

'I would like a Coke,' said the second little piggy.
'I want beer, lots and lots of beer,' said the third little piggy.

The drinks were brought out and the waiter took their orders for dinner.

'I want a nice big steak,' said the first piggy.

'I would like the salad plate,' said the second piggy.
'I want beer, lots and lots of beer,' said the third little piggy.

The meals were brought out and a while later the waiter approached the table and asked if the piggies would like any dessert.

'I want a banana split,' said the first piggy.

'I want a cheesecake,' said the second piggy.
'I want beer, lots and lots of beer,' exclaimed the third little piggy.

'Pardon me for asking,' said the waiter to the third little piggy,'

But why have you only ordered beer all evening?'

You're gonna LOVE me for this..

.. The third piggy says -

'Well, somebody has to go

'Wee, wee, wee,

all the way home!

^*^*^^*^*

At Saint Mary's Catholic Church they have a weekly husband's marriage seminar.

At the session last week, the Priest asked Luigi, who was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he had managed to stay married to the same woman all these years.

Luigi replied to the assembled husbands, 'Well, I've a-tried to treat-a her nice, spend the money on her, but best is that I took-a her to Italy for a beautiful trip on our 20th anniversary! The Priest responded, 'Luigi, you are an amazing inspiration to all the husbands here!

Please tell us what you are planning for your wife for your 50th anniversary.'

Luigi proudly replied, 'I'm a-gonna go and get her.'

~~~~~~~~

Viva Beryl

When I was in my younger days, I weighed a few pounds less, I needn't hold my tummy in to wear a belted dress. But now that I am older, I've set my body free;

There's comfort of elastic Where once my waist would be.

Inventor of those high-heeled shoes My feet have not forgiven; I have to wear a nine now, But used to wear a seven.

And how about those blasted tights -- They're sized by weight, you see, So how come when I put them on The crotch is at my knee?

I need to wear these glasses As the print's been getting smaller; And it wasn't very long ago I know that I was taller.

Though my hair has turned to grey and my skin no longer fits, On the inside, I'm the same old me, the outside's changed a bit.

But, on a positive note...

I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.

I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.

I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.

I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as making a 'life.'

I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.

I've learned that you shouldn't go through life just being a doormat.

You need to be able to throw something back.

I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.

I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.

I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone.

People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.

I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.

I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

CHEERS \_/ \_/ \_/

Yarrawonga

Hi Everyone, not a lot to report, I have had a very quiet week at home feeling rather unwell, after a few visits to doctors Iam now on road to recovery from a mystery bug..

I promise to get around to visiting you all in the next few days

~~~~~~~~`

Firstly :I am honoured and pleased to recieve this award from Alice Who has lovely tea party recipes, please pop over and visit her im sure you will all enjoy her recipes.

Now for the rules:

1) Select 5 blogs that you consider deserving of this award, creativity, design, interesting material, and also contrubuites to the blogger community, no matter the language.

2) Each award has to have the name of the author and also a link to his or her blog to be visited by everyone.

3) Each award-winner has to show the award and put the name and link to the blog that has given her or him the award itself.

4) The award-winner and the one who has given the prize have to show the link of "Arte y pico"blog , so everyone will know the origin of this award.

5) To show these rules.

This award is "dedicated to many who nourish and enrich the spirit and creativity. They see dedication, creativity, camaraderie, joy and above all, ART, much art. I wish that this prize is entertaining to all those bloggers and to bloggers who day by day share this space and enrich it a little more each day." ~Arte Y Pico

Now I have to pass this onto to five others which was a difficult choice. So I picked these

My Dear Friends. Or anyone who would like to have it please feel free to have it...

Merle

Gwen's Den

Writer Cramps

Peggy ,

Hootin Anni

Smilnsigh -Mari Nanci

~~~~~~~~~~~

Heres a few photo's I took homeward bound just outside Yarrawonga after our Trip to Albury last week .

a deserted farm shed just off the Hwy

A closer look


A rusted piece of farm Machinery on the same property

A few donkeys a little further up the road

A view of Lake Mulwala from the Hwy if you take a close look theres a boat with a skier on the back taking his life in his hands with all the stumps about
lowering the lake to try kill of the green weed growing


you can see the weed better in these couple photo's pic.





You can see, the green weed in the water through the tree
The lake Getting lower
left Side of boat ramp
Well normally you couldn't leave your Tinny (Boat)here cause it would be under water.
The waters edge is well down and should be up past those few leafy twigs.

Right Side of boat ramp, Can you see the tyres against the bank?
thats were the normal water level should be.
The Shire tells us the lake will be full again by end of August.
I promise to get around to visiting you all in the next few days

CHEERIO FOR NOW.. CHEERS \_/\_/\_/

Sunrise

Heres a few pics I took on the way to Albury as we left Yarrawonga, while taking my elderly neighbours to their specialist appointments. We left before dawn / sunrise and as the sun started to rise, I was lucky enough to capture it. I love these pics and thought I'd share them with you all.

Will get around to visiting you all within the next few days.

Cheers

Jen

\_/ \_/ \_/ \_/

The Twist

Hi Folks

Tonight I will start with a little Poem sent to be by BikerBob

Then end with a little laughter .. Enjoy

A POEM

A clothes line was a news forecast

To neighbors passing by.

There were no secrets you could keepWhen clothes were hung to dry.

It also was a friendly link For neighbors always knew If company had stopped on by To spend a night or two.

For then you'd see the 'fancy sheets'And towels upon the line;You'd see the 'company table cloths'With intricate design.

The line announced a baby's birth

To folks who lived inside As brand new infant clothes were hung So carefully with pride.

The ages of the children could So readily be known By watching how the sizes changed You'd know how much they'd grown.

It also told when illness struck,As extra sheets were hung;Then nightclothes, and a bathrobe, too,Haphazardly were strung.

It said, 'Gone on vacation now' When lines hung limp and bare.

It told, 'We're back!' when full lines sagged With not an inch to spare.

New folks in town were scorned upon If wash was dingy gray, As neighbors carefully raised their brows,And looked the other way..

But clotheslines now are of the past For dryers make work less.

Now what goes on inside a home Is anybody's guess.

I really miss that way of life.

It was a friendly sign When neighbors knew each other best

By what hung on the line!
~~~~*****~~~~

DATING IN 1957

Ahhhhh. Those were the days.
It's the summer of 1957 and Harold goes to pick up his date, Peggy Sue. Harold's a pretty hip guy with his own car and a duck tail hairdo.

When he goes to the front door, Peggy Sue's mother answers and invites him in: "Peggy Sue's not ready yet, so why don't you have a seat?" she says.

That's cool.

Peggy Sue's mother asks Harold what they're planning to do.

Harold replies politely that they will probably just go to the malt shop or to a drive in movie.

Peggy Sue's mother responds, "Why don't you kids go out and screw? I hear all the kids are doing it.

" Naturally this comes as quite a surprise to Harold and he says "Wh...aaat?" "Yeah," says Peggy Sue's mother, "We know Peggy Sue really likes to screw; why, she'd screw all night if we let her!"

Harold's eyes light up and he smiles from ear to ear.

Immediately, he has revised the plans for the evening.

A few minutes later, Peggy Sue comes downstairs in her little Poodle skirt with her saddle shoes, and announces that she's ready to go.

Almost breathless with anticipation, Harold escorts his date out the front door while Mom is saying, "Have a good evening kids," with a small wink for Harold.

About 20 minutes later, a thoroughly disheveled Peggy Sue rushes back into the house, slams the door behind her and screams at her mother:

"Dammit, Mom!

The Twist!

The Twist!

It's called The Twist!"

~~~****~~~~

11
Eleven people were hanging on a rope, under a helicopter -
10 men and 1 woman.

The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that 1 had to leave, because otherwise they were all going to fall.

They weren't able to choose that person, until the woman gave a very touching speech.

She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because, as a woman, she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids or for men in general, and was used to always making sacrifices with little in return.

As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping

.......
~~~~****~~~~

LOVE DRUNK PEOPLE

A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.

'Not a chance,' says the husband, 'it is 3:00 in the morning!' He slams the door and returns to bed.'Who was that?' asked his wife.

'Just some drunk guy asking for a push,' he answers.

'Did you help him?' she asks.

'No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning and it is pouring rain out there!' 'Well, you have a short memory,' says his wife.

'Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!'

The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain. He calls out into the dark, 'Hello, are you still there?' 'Yes,' comes back the answer.

'Do you still need a push?' calls out the husband.

'Yes, please!' comes the reply from the dark.

'Where are you?' asks the husband.

'Over here.....on the swing,'

replied the drunk.

*********

Girlfriend's

Prayer

Now I lay me Down to sleep

I pray the Lord
My shape to keep
Please no wrinkles

Please no bags

And please lift my butt before it sags.

Please no age spots

Please no gray

And as for my belly,

Please take it away

Please keep me healthy

Please keep me young,

And thank you Dear Lord

For all that you've done.

~~~~****~~~~