Wednesday, June 18, 2008

THE THREE LITTLE PIGS

Hi Everyone ,A little laughter tonight.

The Three Little Pigs

Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night.
The waiter came and took their drink order.
'I would like a Sprite,' said the first little piggy.
'I would like a Coke,' said the second little piggy.
'I want beer, lots and lots of beer,' said the third little piggy.
The drinks were brought out and the waiter took their orders for dinner.
'I want a nice big steak,' said the first piggy.
'I would like the salad plate,' said the second piggy.
'I want beer, lots and lots of beer,' said the third little piggy.
The meals were brought out and a while later the waiter approached the table and asked if the piggies would like any dessert.
'I want a banana split,' said the first piggy.
'I want a cheesecake,' said the second piggy.
'I want beer, lots and lots of beer,' exclaimed the third little piggy.
'Pardon me for asking,' said the waiter to the third little piggy,'
But why have you only ordered beer all evening?'
You're gonna LOVE me for this..
.. The third piggy says -

'Well, somebody has to go

'Wee, wee, wee,

all the way home!

^*^*^^*^*

At Saint Mary's Catholic Church they have a weekly husband's marriage seminar.

At the session last week, the Priest asked Luigi, who was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he had managed to stay married to the same woman all these years.

Luigi replied to the assembled husbands, 'Well, I've a-tried to treat-a her nice, spend the money on her, but best is that I took-a her to Italy for a beautiful trip on our 20th anniversary! The Priest responded, 'Luigi, you are an amazing inspiration to all the husbands here!

Please tell us what you are planning for your wife for your 50th anniversary.'

Luigi proudly replied, 'I'm a-gonna go and get her.'
~~~~~~~~
Viva Beryl

When I was in my younger days, I weighed a few pounds less, I needn't hold my tummy in to wear a belted dress. But now that I am older, I've set my body free;

There's comfort of elastic Where once my waist would be.

Inventor of those high-heeled shoes My feet have not forgiven; I have to wear a nine now, But used to wear a seven.

And how about those blasted tights -- They're sized by weight, you see, So how come when I put them on The crotch is at my knee?

I need to wear these glasses As the print's been getting smaller; And it wasn't very long ago I know that I was taller.

Though my hair has turned to grey and my skin no longer fits, On the inside, I'm the same old me, the outside's changed a bit.

But, on a positive note...

I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.

I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.

I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.

I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as making a 'life.'

I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.

I've learned that you shouldn't go through life just being a doormat.

You need to be able to throw something back.

I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.

I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.

I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone.

People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.

I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.

I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
CHEERS \_/ \_/ \_/

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13 Comments:

Blogger Jim said...

For sure I would be going weee, weee, weee, all the way home!

Hi Jeanette, isn't is nice to grow older? Well, not every day is it nice, but most days.

Amber is Karen's cat.
Cheers,
..

June 18, 2008 11:45 pm  
Blogger Pamela said...

oh oh... lost luggage and Christmas tree lights. I'm blushing...tsk.

June 19, 2008 12:56 am  
Blogger smilnsigh said...

Hi Jen, I hope you are continuing to feel better and better. And that that ding-dang 'mystery bug' is gone, gone, gone.

Mari-Nanci
Smilnsigh blog

June 19, 2008 1:12 am  
Blogger Merle said...

Hi Dear Jan ~~ Great jokes and I am glad you are feeling a little better.
The lemon butter is yummy and so easy to make. It's nice to get the house tidy and clean isn't it? Glad you are having an early night and hope that helps in your recovery. Take great care, dear friend, Love, Merle.

June 19, 2008 1:30 am  
Blogger Renae said...

Hello Jen :-) Hope you are feeling better. Mystery bugs are no fun. Love the jokes, LOLOL !! I just popped in to say hey, and wish you a wonderful day :-) Cheers !!

June 19, 2008 2:04 am  
Blogger Alice said...

Hehe, I should have seen that wee, wee, wee coming! That was my laugh for the night.

June 19, 2008 9:51 am  
Blogger Heart of Rachel said...

Ha ha! I enjoyed the piggy joke.

Thanks for sharing those positive notes.

June 19, 2008 11:58 am  
Blogger Lady Di Tn said...

WEE WEE WEE did not see that one coming LOL. Thanks and Peace

June 20, 2008 9:30 am  
Blogger Merle said...

Hi Dear Jan again ~~ hanks so much for your comments and I am glad you liked that "How to dance in the Rain"
story and the jokes. I hope we can beat Essendon on Sunday, like Richmond did a few weeks ago. I use
minced steak in my meat-loaf, and cheese and fresh breadcrumbs, herbs
and sauces etc. and 2 eggs. It is on Lee's blog and is very nice. I hope yours turned out nicely. Take care
my friend, Love, Merle.

June 21, 2008 12:17 am  
Blogger Anonymous said...

HAHHAAA, the first joke is REALLY funny! Thanks for a laugh which I always seem to do when visiting your blog :) Have a good weekend!

June 21, 2008 8:48 pm  
Blogger Hootin' Anni said...

Blogger has been so slow with the comments loading for about a week. I was determined to stick it out this time no matter how long it took.

Now....first off, love the crotch down to the knees. So, so true. LOL

And then, of course, you know me...I'm one of those that wee wee's!! rofl

Have a great weekend.

June 21, 2008 10:02 pm  
Blogger Puss-in-Boots said...

No wonder that little pig went wee, wee, wee all the way home! I would too after that amount of beer.

Thanks for the funnies, Jen. I hope life is treating you well.

Hugs

June 23, 2008 10:32 am  
Blogger dieter said...

lol I nearly went wee wee after ready that piggy joke very funny

June 23, 2008 4:12 pm  

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