Monday, June 23, 2008

A Little Senior Merriment

A little laughter Folks!
^*^*^*^*^*
Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning.
Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel's ear and she said,'
Mabel, do you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?"
Mabel answered, "I have a suppository in my ear?" She pulled it out and stared at it
.Then she said, "Ethel, I'm glad you saw this thing.
Now I think I know where to find my hearing aid."
~*~*~*~*
A couple had been married for 50 years.
They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together.

""I know," the old man said.
"We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago.
""Well," Granny snickered.
"Let's relive some old times."
Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table."You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago."
"I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps.
One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal."

~*~*~*~*
An old couple who hadn't celebrated Halloween in a long time decided to dress up and go out.
The old woman went into her bedroom, stripped naked and tied a lemon between her legs.
When she came out, the old man cried, "You can't go out like that!"She said, "I can go anyway I like and so can you
."Where upon he retired to the bedroom and came out stark raving naked with a potato tied to his tally whacker.
The old woman says, "You're going out like that?"And he replies, "Yep, if you can go as a sour-puss, I can go as adick-tator."
^*^*^*^*^
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades.
Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures.
Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.
One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me.
I know we've been friends for a long time.....but I just can't think of your name!I've thought and thought,
but I can't remember it.please tell me what your name is.
"Her friend glared at her.
For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her.
Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"

*~*~*~*~*~*

An elderly couple were on a cruise and it was really stormy.
They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon, when a wave came up and washed the old woman overboard.
They searched for days and couldn't find her, so the captain sent the old man back to shore with the promise that he would notify him as soon as they found something.
Three weeks went by and finally the old man got a fax from the boatIt read: "Sir, sorry to inform you, we found your wife dead at the bottom of the oceanWe hauled her up to the deck and attached to her butt was an oyster and in it was a pearl worth $50,000 . . please advise.
" The old man faxed back: "Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap"


^*^*^*^*^*^*


THE SENILITY PRAYER
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,and the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.
Cheers \_/ \_/ \_/

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12 Comments:

Blogger Merle said...

Hi Dear Jan ~~ Great jokes there and
they were all good ones. Thanks for the comments and the Apron story was
a good one and popular. Isn't Pauline a good girl. I'm afraid I do't often wear one, even when cooking. My Mum was never without one, nor were my aunties. I hope you are feeling heaps better Jan. Take care, Love,
Merle.

June 23, 2008 9:49 pm  
Blogger Gattina said...

Lol ! aren't you ashamed to tell our secrets when we are in church together ??

June 24, 2008 2:22 am  
Blogger Gwen said...

Hi Mate.
Great jokes,you are getting a bit daring.
Loved the one about the oldies in church,I've heard yours snore a few
times but we weren't in church.
Catch up soon xoxo

June 24, 2008 2:44 am  
Blogger Jim said...

Hi Jeanette, what should I say? :-)

That these were all put-down jokes about older women? (Well, there was the dick-tator but I think he was making fun of his elderly wife?)
Cheers,
..

June 24, 2008 7:33 am  
Blogger sonia a.m. said...

Very funny Jeanette! LOL! Thanks!

June 24, 2008 10:08 am  
Blogger Janice said...

Hi Jeanette,

LOl loved the jokes. Have a nice week.

Janice~

June 24, 2008 4:22 pm  
Blogger Alice said...

Oh, my, those had me laughing out loud. I'm going to have to repeat those to my husband as he's the old f*rt around here.

June 25, 2008 7:07 am  
Blogger Hootin' Anni said...

Love the 'dick'tator and sour puss. I'm choking here. And the last one about resetting the bait trap on her butt...good one too.

LOLOLOLOL

June 25, 2008 10:41 pm  
Blogger PEA said...

Oh Jen, you always do my heart good when I come visit....those jokes were soooo very funny! hehe I'm not sure I want to grow old now, though! lol Just hope I never have to wear a hearing aid that ends up being replaced by a suppository! LOL xoxo

June 26, 2008 5:01 am  
Blogger Linda said...

Hi Jen, after a busy day these funnies gave me such a laugh....too fun. Hugs, Linda

June 26, 2008 10:35 am  
Blogger JunieRose2005 said...

Oh my goodness, Jen!

Is that what it's like to get old???

Then I'm stayin' young! hahahaha


Junie

June 26, 2008 11:02 am  
Blogger dieter said...

I like your sense of humour lol and thanks for the visit to my blog

June 26, 2008 2:07 pm  

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