A Little laughter

ROSES & HANGING BASKETS

A teenage granddaughter Comes downstairs for her date With this see-through blouse on and no bra.

Her grandmother just pitched a fit,Telling her not to dare go out like that!

The teenager tells her!

'Loosen up Grams.

These are modern times .You gotta let your rose buds show!'And out she goes.

The next day the teenager comes down stairs,and the grandmother is sitting there with no top on.

The teenager wants to die.

She explains to her grandmother That she has friends coming over and that it is just not appropriate....

The grandmother says,'Loosen up, Sweetie.

If you can show off your rose buds

,Then I can display my hanging baskets.

Happy Gardening.

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Not My Drink!

There's this guy on a bar, just looking at his drink.

He stays like that for half-an-hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down.
The poor man starts crying.

The truck driver says: "Come on man, I was just joking.

Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't see a man crying."
"No, it's not that.

This day is the worst of my life.

First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office.

My boss, outrageous, fires me.

When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen.

The police, they say they can do nothing.

I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there.

The cab driver just drives away.

I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener.

I leave home, and come to this bar.

And when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison..."

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PHILOSOPHY OF HOUSECLEANING!

I don't do windows because ...
I love birds and don't want one to run into a clean window and get hurt.

I don't wax floors because ...
I am terrified a guest will slip and get hurt then I'll feel terrible( plus they may sue me.)

I don't mind the dust bunnies because ...

They are very good company, I have named most of them, and they agree with everything I say

I don't disturb cobwebs because .
I want every creature to have a home of their own.

I don't Spring Clean because .

I love all the seasons and don't want the others to get jealous

I don't pull weeds in the garden because ..

I don't want to get in God's way, HE is an excellent designer!
I don't put things away because .

My husband will never be able to find them again.

I don't do gourmet meals when I entertain because

. I don't want my guests to stress out over what to make when they invite me over for dinner.

I don't iron because ...

I choose to believe them when they say

"Permanent Press".

I don't stress much on anything because ...

A Type" personalities die young and I want to stick around and become a wrinkled up crusty ol' woman!!!!

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REMEMBER . . . .