Monday, June 30, 2008

A Little laughter


ROSES & HANGING BASKETS




A teenage granddaughter Comes downstairs for her date With this see-through blouse on and no bra.
Her grandmother just pitched a fit,Telling her not to dare go out like that!
The teenager tells her!
'Loosen up Grams.
These are modern times .You gotta let your rose buds show!'And out she goes.
The next day the teenager comes down stairs,and the grandmother is sitting there with no top on.
The teenager wants to die.
She explains to her grandmother That she has friends coming over and that it is just not appropriate....
The grandmother says,'Loosen up, Sweetie.
If you can show off your rose buds
,Then I can display my hanging baskets.
Happy Gardening.
~~~~~~~`
Not My Drink!
There's this guy on a bar, just looking at his drink.

He stays like that for half-an-hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down.
The poor man starts crying.
The truck driver says: "Come on man, I was just joking.
Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't see a man crying."
"No, it's not that.
This day is the worst of my life.
First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office.
My boss, outrageous, fires me.
When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen.
The police, they say they can do nothing.
I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there.
The cab driver just drives away.
I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener.
I leave home, and come to this bar.
And when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison..."

~~~~~~~~~~`

PHILOSOPHY OF HOUSECLEANING!
I don't do windows because ...
I love birds and don't want one to run into a clean window and get hurt.

I don't wax floors because ...
I am terrified a guest will slip and get hurt then I'll feel terrible( plus they may sue me.)

I don't mind the dust bunnies because ...
They are very good company, I have named most of them, and they agree with everything I say

I don't disturb cobwebs because .
I want every creature to have a home of their own.

I don't Spring Clean because .
I love all the seasons and don't want the others to get jealous

I don't pull weeds in the garden because ..
I don't want to get in God's way, HE is an excellent designer!
I don't put things away because .
My husband will never be able to find them again.



I don't do gourmet meals when I entertain because
. I don't want my guests to stress out over what to make when they invite me over for dinner.


I don't iron because ...
I choose to believe them when they say
"Permanent Press".

I don't stress much on anything because ...
A Type" personalities die young and I want to stick around and become a wrinkled up crusty ol' woman!!!!

~~~~~~~~~~
REMEMBER . . . .

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12 Comments:

Blogger Peggy said...

Now I have the right reasons for not cleaning! LOL

July 01, 2008 1:07 am  
Blogger judypatooote said...

Me too.....and I love the hanging basket joke,....aien't that the truth.....LOL judy

July 01, 2008 2:29 am  
Blogger Janice said...

Hi Jeanette,

I love your excuses for not doing house work.

Congrats on training your puppy.

Janice~

July 01, 2008 3:18 pm  
Blogger Susie said...

Such very good reasons to not clean!
:)
Loved the hanging basket joke as well!
xo

July 01, 2008 3:20 pm  
Blogger Ex-Shammickite said...

That's a very sweet puppy, congratulations on the graduation certificate!
and the jokes are funnnnnny!

July 02, 2008 12:39 am  
Blogger Heart of Rachel said...

I love those great excuses for not doing housework. :)

I can relate to the last cartoon. When my Internet was down, I ended up doing general house cleaning. Ha ha!

July 02, 2008 8:42 pm  
Blogger Merle said...

Hi Dear Jan ~~ Love the house-work excuses, as I don't do too much of it.The jokes were good. I love how you put little pictures with them.
Thanks for your comments -- sorry about the football, but sorrier about the player hit by a tram. He seems to be doing well which is great.Bad luck that Lleyton lost to Federer AGAIN.
Are you over the pain bit and did you get a rash? Hope you are OK. I spent most of yesterday washing sheets and towels, all away now.
Had a quieter day today, will do some cooking. Vicki e-mailed me and still has a lot of pain so is not out of the woods yet. Take care my friend. Love, Merle.

July 02, 2008 10:16 pm  
Blogger Diane@Diane's Place said...

Good excuses for having a lived-in house, LOL! ;o)

Hope all is well with you and yours, Jen.

Love and hugs,

Diane

July 03, 2008 1:40 pm  
Blogger Puss-in-Boots said...

Hey, I can relate to the hanging baskets...lol! As for the housekeeping...er...not housekeeping reasons, I can relate to those too!

Thanks for the laughs, Jen.

July 03, 2008 5:37 pm  
Blogger Lady Di Tn said...

Jen
You made me feel like Julia Roberts in pretty woman as I almost peed in my pants when I read the hanging basket one. Peace

July 03, 2008 11:57 pm  
Blogger Pear tree cottage! said...

Jen always love to visit you have missed that part of my day.....you can always find a laugh on your blog and loved that you have a little puppy keeping your days busy. gosh the family photos were nice what a beautiful birthday girl.

thanks for visiting me yesterday I will be back to catch up more very soon.

Lee-ann

July 04, 2008 9:43 am  
Blogger Hootin' Anni said...

G-day Jen!!! I'm snorting my orange juice out my nose again. I MUST learn to not drink and read your Chronicles. It's dangerous to my health [kidding]

LOVE the truck driver story. And yes...the graphic you shared at the very end is so, SO true.

Happy day to you.

July 04, 2008 11:12 pm  

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