A Giggle To Combat The Blues
A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his
Grandmother asking him to send her a current photo of himself in
his new location.Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony,
he cuts a photo in half and mails it. The next day he discovers
that he had accidentally sent the bottom half of the photo
eyesight is, & hopes she won't notice.
A few weeks later, he receives a letter from his Grandmother.
'Thank you for the picture. Change your hairstyle. . . it makes
your nose look too short.'
There was a German, an Italian and an Irishman on death row.
1. to be shot
2. to hang
3. to be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death.
So the German said, "Shoot me right in the head." Boom, he was dead instantly.
Then the Italian said, "Just hang me." (Snap, he was dead.)
Then the Irishman said, "Give me some of that AIDS stuff."
They gave him the shot, and the Irishman fell down laughing.
The guards looked at each other and wondered what was wrong with this guy.
Then the Irishman said, "Give me another one of those shots," so the guards did.
Now he was laughing so hard, tears rolled from his eyes and he doubled over.
Finally the warden said, "What is wrong with you?"
The Irishman replied, "You guys are so stupid.....I'm wearing a condom."
Two old men decided they are close to their last days and decide to have a last night on the town . After a few drinks , they end up at the local brothel.
The Madam takes one look at the two old geezers and whispers to her manager , go up to the first two bedrooms and put an inflated Doll in each bed .
These two are so old and drunk , Im not wasting two of my girls on them ,they won't know the difference .'
The manager does as he is told and the two men go upstairs and take care of their business .As they are walking home the first man says, you know , I think my girl was dead!. 'dead?' says his friend , "why do you say that"? 'Well , she never moved or made a sound all the time I was loving her.
His friend says , "could be worse' I think mine was a witch . A witch?, why the hell would you say that?''Well, I was making love to her , kissing her on the neck and I gave her a little bite , Then she farted and flew out the window .'
Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. "Why do you do that, mommy?" he asked. "To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. "What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?"
Labels: Humour - Mixed