Sunday, October 29, 2006
Thursday, October 26, 2006
A short walk down to the end off my street
At the end of my street the two cruise boats, Paradise Queen and Lady Murray partly hidden
The Paradise Queen
The traffic bridge that Separates Victoria from New South Wales
A view of the lake
A very small portion off Red gums in the lake
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Men! For all those men who say, Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free.
Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.
When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and witness the scent of fresh hay. When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.
The veggie department features the smell of fresh buttered corn.
I don't buy toilet paper there any more.
Saturday, October 21, 2006
A married woman is having an affair.
Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine year old son in the closet.
One day the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet, as well.
Inside the closet, the little boy says, "It's dark in here, isn't it?"
"Yes it is," the man replies.
"You wanna buy a baseball?" the little boy asks.
"No thanks," the man replies.
"I think you do want to buy a baseball," the little extortionist continues.
"OK. How much?" the man replies after considering the position he is in.
"Twenty-five dollars," the little boy replies.
"TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?!" the man repeats incredulously, but complies
to protect his hidden position.
The following week, the lover is visiting the woman again when she hears a car
in the driveway and, again, places her lover in the closet with her little boy.
"It's dark in here, isn't it?" the boy starts off.
"Yes it is," replies the man.
"Wanna buy a baseball glove?" the little boy asks.
"OK. How much?" the hiding lover responds, acknowledging his disadvantage.
"Fifty dollars," the boy replies and the transaction is completed.
The next weekend, the little boy's father says "Hey, son.
Go get your ball and glove and we'll play some catch."
"I can't. I sold them," replies the little boy.
"How much did you get for them?" asks the father, expecting to hear the
profit in terms of lizards and candy.
"Seventy-five dollars," the little boy says.
"SEVENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?! That's thievery! I'm taking you to the church right now.
You must confess your sin and ask for forgiveness," the father explains as
he hauls the child away.
At the church, the little boy goes into the confessional, draws the curtain, sits down,
and says "It's dark in here, isn't it?"
"Don't you start that in here now," the priest says
The teacher asks everyone in the class to demonstrate something exciting. When Johnny's turn came, he walked to the blackboard and drew a small dot. "What's that?" the teacher asked, puzzled. "It's a period." – "Well, I see that, but what's exciting about a period?" – "Darned if I know, but this morning my sister said she missed one... Dad had a heart attack, mom fainted, and the guy next door shot himself."
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
AFEW Of MY ORCHIDS
Labels: My Garden
Saturday, October 14, 2006
"A SCOTTISH COUPLE"
"A penny for your thoughts, Angus."
"Well, uh, I was thinkin'...perhaps it's aboot time for a wee kiss."
The girl blushed, then leaned over and kissed him lightly on the cheek. Then he blushed.
The two turned once again to gaze out over the loch. Minutes passed, then the girl spoke again. "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus."
"Well, uh I was thinkin'...perhaps its noo aboot time for a wee cuddle."
The girl blushed, then leaned over and cuddled him for a few seconds. Then he blushed.
Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch. After a while, she again said, "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus."
"Well, uh I was thinkin'...perhaps its aboot time you let me pewt ma hand on yer leg.
" The girl blushed, then took his hand and put it on her knee. Then he blushed.
Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch before the girl spoke again.
"Another penny for your thoughts, Angus."
The young man glanced down with a furled brow. "Well, noo," he said, "My thoughts are a wee bit more serious this time."
"Really?" said the girl in a whisper, filled with anticipation.
"Aye," said the lad, nodding. The girl looked away in shyness, began to blush, and bit her lip in anticipation of the ultimate request.
And he said, "Din'na ye think it's aboot time ye paid me the first three pennies?"
Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with
a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later the doctor spoke to Morris and said,
"You're really doing great, aren't you?"
Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma
and be cheerful.'"
The doctor said, "I didn't say that.
pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching
his breath he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly,
"No," he replied, "Arthritis"
Friday, October 13, 2006
BLOG JOKE DAY
A blind man and his guide elephant enter a bar and find their way to astool. After ordering a drink and sitting there for a while, the man yellsto the bartender; “Hey , you wanna hear a blond joke?”
The bar falls quiet. In a deep husky voice the woman next to him says;“Before you tell that joke, you should know something. The bartenderis blonde, the bouncer is blonde and I’m a 1.82 tall, 90kg blonde with ablack belt in karate. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and she’sa weight lifter. The lady to your right is blonde and she’s apro-wrestler. Think about it seriously, mister; You still wanna tell thatjoke?”
The man says;
reviving her husband's libido.
"What about trying Viagra?" asks the doctor.
"Not a chance", she said he won't even take an aspirin".
"Not a problem," replied the doctor.
Drop it into his coffee, He won't even taste it.
Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went."
It wasn't a week later that she called the doctor, who directly
inquired as to the progress.
The poor dear exclaimed, "Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorra! T'was horrid.
Just terrible, doctor!""Really? What happened?" asked the doctor.
"Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee and the
effect was almost immediate.
He jumped hisself straight up, with a twinkle in his eye,
and with his pants a-bulging fiercely!
With one swoop of his arm, he sent the cups and tablecloth flying,
ripped me clothes to tatters and took me then and there, making wild, mad,
passionate love to me on the tabletop!
It was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!"
"Why so terrible?" asked the doctor, "Do you mean the sex your husband
provided was not good"?
"Oh, no, no, no, doctor, the sex was fine indeed!
'Twas the best sex I've had in 25 years!
But sure as I'm sittin' here,
I'll never be able to show me face in McDonalds again."
“Hey, what's that?”
“A twelve-inch pianist. Ya see, I found this magic lamp, rubbed it, made a wish, I got a twelve inch pianist.”
“Can I try?” The man with the piano agrees and a minute later, a million ducks fill the room.
“Ducks? I didn't wish for a million ducks, I wished for a million bucks!”
“Ya think I really wished for a twelve inch pianist?"
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
A few more jokes (barber shop
Doctor Dave had slept with one of his patients and felt guilty all Day long.
No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The guilt
and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in a while he'd
hear an internal, reassuring voice that said: "Dave, don't worry about
it. You aren't the first doctor to sleep with one of their patients
and you won't be the last. And you're single. Just let it go".
But invariably the other voice would bring him back to reality,
Dave, you're a vet".
Sunday, October 08, 2006
My Week - Cazz 06.10.06
Well, we had a bit of a busy and fun filled weekend. Friday arvo it was off to Albury, NSW, for a HIA (Housing Industry Australia) awards night, where the Company I work for 'Diverse Builders Pty Ltd" won the award for Best Custom Built Home under $250,000 in Northern Regional Victoria, which was a great effort by all concerned... so needless to say, my work collegues and I really had something to celebrate, and with free food, beer & wine I dont think I need say more !!!!
Saturday was spent shopping, and browsing the city centre, exploring local sites and then over to the Commercial Club to watch the Eagles beat the Swans in the AFL Grand Final. We decided on a quiet night, I had a little flutter on the "Pokies" (slot machines) and come out a winner, which was great, it helped recoup the cost of the new shoes, and top that I had bought earlier !!!
The site was chosen by city town planner Charles Reade, and the monument, designed by Architect Louis Harrison, was opened on Anzac Day 1925 by General Paine.
The monument is a white ferro concrete tower, in the form of a tapered lighthouse painted stark white and surmounted by a 'torch of liberty'. This torch is 1.8 meters high and faced with 40 panes of prismatic glasss.
During the day sunlight plays through this glazing giving the torch the illusion that it is lit. The tower provides a striking terminus to the vista down the street.
The tower was originally lit by ground lights however electric lighting was not supplied to the torch until 1995. In the same year a number of individual plaques were set in the gardens around the monument to recall those who had died in both World Wars, the Korean War and the Vietnam War.
View from the memorial looking down over Albury.
Albury Food & Wine Festival
With the sun shining on a glorious spring morning, we booked out of the motel, and decided to check out the food & wine festival. We were among the first to arrive.
There were over 65 local food & wine growers promoting, & selling there wares. The hardest part of the day for me, was deciding which wines, after sampling, to buy, they were all good and as the day got on, even the "mouth puckering" variety were starting to taste all right !!!!.
For Ian, it was "Oh boy, food, beer, food, beer". I think he sampled most of the food, and DEFINITELY all the beer.
They also had some great Jazz bands playing through out the day, also events organised for the kids - sack races, face painting, finger painting, petting zoo (baby animals). The admittance cost was $5 adults or $12 for family. We had a great day, and looking around us, so did many others.
My son Michael, turned 23 on 4th October. I havent really spoken about Michael previously... let me explain.
Michael was diagnosed in 1997, aged 14yrs, as a paranoid psychotic schizophrenic. He spent alot of time in and out of adolescent mental institutions, which was a very hard & trying time for all. As an adult, Michael has done his fair share of hospitalisations also. I wont go into all the trials and tribulations of trying to raise, protect, and shelter someone you love so endlessly, let alone the frustrations. But I will say this ' without the love and support of my family, I would have been lying in the bed next to him!" Michael is not able to co-exist, so he has his own place, and is doing extremely well at this present time, but I am always aware that this can change quicker than you can blink an eye. Due to his paranoia I refrain from posting things that relate to or involve Michael, but as this is a special day, I asked him for his permission before writing this blog.
Here he is pictured below with my brother Gary, his best mate.
Saturday, October 07, 2006
In Memory of Alan
4 July 1936 - 7 October 2004
My darling Alan
My life changed forever
When you were taken from me two years ago today
And I still ask why you were taken away so soon.
Alan you were the love of my life
The hardest part is living life without you
I sense your presence at times,
Which gives me the strength to go on
Thinking of you every minute of every day
You are always in my heart.
Thank you for the precious memories
That are mine to hold onto forever and a day
Carol, Gary, Donna & Joanne would like to share with you all the following reading that they wrote & Carol read at Alans funeral service.
Dad, you were our teacher
From you we learned the rules of right and wrong
You gave us strength, hope and courage
You taught us to stand up, be ourselves,
You encouraged us to strive and achieve.
But most of all you showed us how to love each other,
Be there for each other, to stick together, be a united front.
There were times when we rebelled,
You would just look at us with “the look”
Arguments would follow, but stubborn we would remain.
You would just shake your head,
and eventually accepted that we just had to do, and learn for ourselves.
How lucky we were to have been loved so well.
You were proud of us all,
In so many different ways.
You were our rock,
The person we turned to, looked up to and respected
You saw us through the good times
and guided us through the hard times.
Your were not one to express “mush” and sentiment
You didn’t need to, we knew, we were your life, and you knew, you were ours.
We will miss you though we know you are here beside us
We will miss your arguments, laughter, and fun,
We will miss so much, we cant even express
But most of all, we will miss your love, though ours for you remains
You were, are and will be, just as ever, In many minds and hearts, not only ours.
Dad lives in those he left behind, His loved ones and his mates
And so Dad, goodbye does not mean you are gone, so long as we still love you, you live on.
REST IN PEACE
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
MARTHA and MURIEL
*Martha's Way* To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
*Muriel's Way* Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix , keep it in the pantry for up to a year.
*Martha's Way* When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
*Muriel's Way*Go to the bakery! They'll even decorate it for you.
*Martha's Way* If you accidentally oversalt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up."
*Muriel's Way*If you oversalt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad.
Please recite with me the real woman's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes!"
*Martha's Way* Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.
*Muriel's Way* Celery? Never heard of it!
*Martha's Way* Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
*Muriel's Way* The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust so I don't.
*Martha's Way* Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
*Muriel's Way* Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink!
*Martha's Way* If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
*Muriel's Way* Go ask that very cute neighbor if he can open it for you.
*Martha's Way* Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
*Muriel's Way* Leftover wine???????????
Sunday, October 01, 2006
A BUSH WALK 5 MINUTES FROM HOME
couldnt resist taking a photo of this lovely Redgum
Little Corellas feed in large noisy flocks. The birds feed mainly on the ground, and have to drink on a daily basis. The most common foods are grains and grass seeds,
A fallen Redgum on the edge of Murray River