BLOG JOKE DAY

A blind man and his guide elephant enter a bar and find their way to astool. After ordering a drink and sitting there for a while, the man yellsto the bartender; “Hey , you wanna hear a blond joke?”
The bar falls quiet. In a deep husky voice the woman next to him says;“Before you tell that joke, you should know something. The bartenderis blonde, the bouncer is blonde and I’m a 1.82 tall, 90kg blonde with ablack belt in karate. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and she’sa weight lifter. The lady to your right is blonde and she’s apro-wrestler. Think about it seriously, mister; You still wanna tell thatjoke?”
The man says;

“Nah, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”

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An Irish woman of advanced age, visited her physician to ask his help in
reviving her husband's libido.
"What about trying Viagra?" asks the doctor.
"Not a chance", she said he won't even take an aspirin".
"Not a problem," replied the doctor.
Drop it into his coffee, He won't even taste it.
Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went."
It wasn't a week later that she called the doctor, who directly
inquired as to the progress.
The poor dear exclaimed, "Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorra! T'was horrid.
Just terrible, doctor!""Really? What happened?" asked the doctor.
"Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee and the
effect was almost immediate.
He jumped hisself straight up, with a twinkle in his eye,
and with his pants a-bulging fiercely!
With one swoop of his arm, he sent the cups and tablecloth flying,
ripped me clothes to tatters and took me then and there, making wild, mad,
passionate love to me on the tabletop!
It was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!"
"Why so terrible?" asked the doctor, "Do you mean the sex your husband
provided was not good"?
"Oh, no, no, no, doctor, the sex was fine indeed!
'Twas the best sex I've had in 25 years!
But sure as I'm sittin' here,
I'll never be able to show me face in McDonalds again."

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Twelve Inch PianistThis guy walks into a bar, pulls out a tiny piano and stool, and a tiny little man. The tiny man sits down, and starts to play the piano. This other guy notices it.
“Hey, what's that?”
“A twelve-inch pianist. Ya see, I found this magic lamp, rubbed it, made a wish, I got a twelve inch pianist.”
“Can I try?” The man with the piano agrees and a minute later, a million ducks fill the room.
“Ducks? I didn't wish for a million ducks, I wished for a million bucks!”
“Ya think I really wished for a twelve inch pianist?"