Friday, October 13, 2006


A blind man and his guide elephant enter a bar and find their way to astool. After ordering a drink and sitting there for a while, the man yellsto the bartender; “Hey , you wanna hear a blond joke?”
The bar falls quiet. In a deep husky voice the woman next to him says;“Before you tell that joke, you should know something. The bartenderis blonde, the bouncer is blonde and I’m a 1.82 tall, 90kg blonde with ablack belt in karate. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and she’sa weight lifter. The lady to your right is blonde and she’s apro-wrestler. Think about it seriously, mister; You still wanna tell thatjoke?”
The man says;
“Nah, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”
An Irish woman of advanced age, visited her physician to ask his help in
reviving her husband's libido.
"What about trying Viagra?" asks the doctor.
"Not a chance", she said he won't even take an aspirin".
"Not a problem," replied the doctor.
Drop it into his coffee, He won't even taste it.
Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went."
It wasn't a week later that she called the doctor, who directly
inquired as to the progress.
The poor dear exclaimed, "Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorra! T'was horrid.
Just terrible, doctor!""Really? What happened?" asked the doctor.
"Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee and the
effect was almost immediate.
He jumped hisself straight up, with a twinkle in his eye,
and with his pants a-bulging fiercely!
With one swoop of his arm, he sent the cups and tablecloth flying,
ripped me clothes to tatters and took me then and there, making wild, mad,
passionate love to me on the tabletop!
It was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!"
"Why so terrible?" asked the doctor, "Do you mean the sex your husband
provided was not good"?
"Oh, no, no, no, doctor, the sex was fine indeed!
'Twas the best sex I've had in 25 years!
But sure as I'm sittin' here,
I'll never be able to show me face in McDonalds again."
Twelve Inch PianistThis guy walks into a bar, pulls out a tiny piano and stool, and a tiny little man. The tiny man sits down, and starts to play the piano. This other guy notices it.
“Hey, what's that?”
“A twelve-inch pianist. Ya see, I found this magic lamp, rubbed it, made a wish, I got a twelve inch pianist.”
“Can I try?” The man with the piano agrees and a minute later, a million ducks fill the room.
“Ducks? I didn't wish for a million ducks, I wished for a million bucks!”
“Ya think I really wished for a twelve inch pianist?"


Blogger Sue said...

Hi Jan,
Bill and I had a really good laugh over these this morning! Thanks for sharing!!

October 14, 2006 1:03 am  
Blogger JunieRose2005 said...


That VIAGRA joke was the funniest thing I've read in a long time!!

( LOL- and there I was thinking how ROMANTIC that would be...til the last line!!!) hahaha

October 14, 2006 4:44 am  
Blogger PEA said...

LOL I can't stop giggling at that last one...too funny!!! I must remember that one! lol Thank you so much for the birthday wishes, they are so very much appreciated:-) Hugs xox

October 14, 2006 5:37 am  
Blogger Christina said...

McDonalds! Good one!

This joke day thing was a good idea - I have seen lots of funnt jokes today!

October 14, 2006 8:10 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Jan, thanks for participating and for not one but two excellent jokes.

October 14, 2006 8:49 am  
Blogger Meow said...

Hi Jeanette, Great jokes ... thanks for making me laugh.
Hope you have a great weekend.
Take care, Meow

October 14, 2006 9:23 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am still laughing, such funny jokes. Thanks for comments on my humble attempt. Margaret

October 14, 2006 5:35 pm  
Blogger Janice said...

hi Jeanette,

Oh my goodness that was f-u-n-n-y! McDonalds HEHEHE!


October 14, 2006 6:07 pm  
Blogger DellaB said...

Hi Jeanette, I do love the 12" pianist joke, thanks for the laughs.

October 14, 2006 7:03 pm  
Blogger schaumi said...

those are some funny jokes. they made me laugh. thanks.

October 15, 2006 12:29 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello Jan ~Two good jokes there thanks
for the laughs. It pays to speak clearly when making wishes it seems. Thanks for the comment on my blog. It was great to be cooler today after hose couple of early hot ones. I hope you are feeling much better. Take care, Love, Merle.

October 15, 2006 12:41 am  
Blogger Jack K. said...

Some genies have a wicked sense of humour. ROTFLMAO.


October 15, 2006 2:13 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Jen,
Just visited your blog for the first time and can see I need to come more often. I loved the Irish joke and must share it on my blog if it is all right with you.

October 15, 2006 3:02 am  
Blogger Gazza said...

Hi mum, I have been a tad busy lately, I just dropped by to see what you and Carol are up to... love the jokes

Take care I'll talk to you soon.


October 15, 2006 11:32 am  
Blogger Gattina said...

Didn't get the first one ... I am blond !
Nice to be back and start the day with some good laugh !

October 15, 2006 12:55 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Our Aunti Fern told us a joke on her 94th birthday.
She said she heard it when she was picking apples as a teenager.

An old farm wife complained to ther Doctor that her husband didn't have interest in her anymore. Was there anything that the Doc could do to help. He said that indeed - he had some powder that she could mix in his coffee and he would be in rare form the next day. The woman took the powder - but was a little bit worried about it, so she fed some to the chickens to see what would happen. The next day the roosters were chasing the chickens all over the farm - and they ran themselves to a frazzle. She was so distraught that she poured the rest of the powder into the well.

The next morning she couldn't get the pump handle down.

October 16, 2006 12:47 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Let me try that linke again

Great Aunt Fern

October 16, 2006 12:50 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Jan ~ Thanks for the comments.
Boys are much the same all over te world it seems. Thanks for the Cup of Joy e mail. I don't drink coffee !!
Have you read Mararet's sad post?
Take care, Love, Merle.

October 16, 2006 1:20 am  
Blogger Lee-ann said...

Jen, as always you give me a good morning laugh! :o) thank you my friend.

October 16, 2006 9:19 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Jan, thanks for the kind comments on Justin's post, I am working on keeping the memories to the fore. Hugs Margaret

October 16, 2006 11:15 pm  

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