Saturday, October 21, 2006

THE AFFAIR



A married woman is having an affair.
Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine year old son in the closet.
One day the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet, as well.
Inside the closet, the little boy says, "It's dark in here, isn't it?"
"Yes it is," the man replies.
"You wanna buy a baseball?" the little boy asks.
"No thanks," the man replies.
"I think you do want to buy a baseball," the little extortionist continues.
"OK. How much?" the man replies after considering the position he is in.
"Twenty-five dollars," the little boy replies.
"TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?!" the man repeats incredulously, but complies

to protect his hidden position.
The following week, the lover is visiting the woman again when she hears a car

in the driveway and, again, places her lover in the closet with her little boy.
"It's dark in here, isn't it?" the boy starts off.
"Yes it is," replies the man.
"Wanna buy a baseball glove?" the little boy asks.
"OK. How much?" the hiding lover responds, acknowledging his disadvantage.
"Fifty dollars," the boy replies and the transaction is completed.
The next weekend, the little boy's father says "Hey, son.

Go get your ball and glove and we'll play some catch."
"I can't. I sold them," replies the little boy.
"How much did you get for them?" asks the father, expecting to hear the

profit in terms of lizards and candy.
"Seventy-five dollars," the little boy says.
"SEVENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?! That's thievery! I'm taking you to the church right now.

You must confess your sin and ask for forgiveness," the father explains as
he hauls the child away.
At the church, the little boy goes into the confessional, draws the curtain, sits down,

and says "It's dark in here, isn't it?"
"Don't you start that in here now," the priest says


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

The teacher asks everyone in the class to demonstrate something exciting. When Johnny's turn came, he walked to the blackboard and drew a small dot. "What's that?" the teacher asked, puzzled. "It's a period." – "Well, I see that, but what's exciting about a period?" – "Darned if I know, but this morning my sister said she missed one... Dad had a heart attack, mom fainted, and the guy next door shot himself."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
May you always have Love to Share
Health to Spare
And Friends that Care

11 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

oh.. I didn't see it coming!!!!!

October 23, 2006 2:10 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The humor is dark in here isn't it?

October 23, 2006 8:37 am  
Anonymous colleen said...

A couple of good laughs! I love the photos of orchids, the one of the woman at the table with white chairs and tents all around her...and especially the tribute to Alan. Thanks for dropping by my site.

October 23, 2006 1:23 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good one Jan I did not see that punch line coming either! Thanks for visiting my site.
Take care, hugs Margaret.

October 23, 2006 3:15 pm  
Blogger slap me happy said...

love the priest one lol, thanks for coming by my blog, love your music. I have been trying to sus out how to get music onto mine I want to put John Williamson's "True Blue"
let me know how if you get the time
xx
shona

October 23, 2006 5:13 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello Jan ~ Nice to be back to my blogging friends after a lovely week with my cousin. We had a ball, went everywhere, talked and laughed. It was
fun and breakfast in the gazebo.Loved the jokes, I have posted the first one
awhile back. Your orchids are lovely Jan You are clever growing them. Thanks for all your comments. I have set out Daddy's girl better in Edit, but was a tissue one. Are you back bowling yet?Keep well my friend, Love, Merle.

October 23, 2006 9:12 pm  
Blogger Dick said...

Good jokes and it seems amazing to me that you can grow something like orchids in a home garden. Your climate has to be a lot different than ours here in the northwest part of the US. Nice photos of the flowers.

Thank you for your visits to my blog. I am glad that you enjoyed the poems. I will continue to look for those that sensatively cover the subject.

October 24, 2006 12:50 am  
Blogger Pamela said...

Too cute! Loved the one with the two of them in the closet. hehe! The dot cover it all was good too!

Your Orchids are just breathtaking! They have to be the prettiest flower ever!

October 24, 2006 3:28 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh Jen I am beginning to see a different version of what I thought Australian women are like. I love the jokes so don't stop. I think I will copy the priest one and send it to my cousin. Have a nice day.

October 24, 2006 6:20 am  
Blogger QuillDancer said...

LOL! Both of these had me giggling.

October 24, 2006 11:43 am  
Blogger Gattina said...

Lol, real nice. A good laugh in the morning does good ! If you want to read a real story about a hunted boss (mine) then go to my writer cramps !

October 24, 2006 6:42 pm  

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