"A SCOTTISH COUPLE"
A young Scottish lad and lass were sitting on a low stone wall, holding hands gazing out over the loch. For several minutes they sat silently, then finally the girl looked at the boy and said,
"A penny for your thoughts, Angus."
"Well, uh, I was thinkin'...perhaps it's aboot time for a wee kiss."
The girl blushed, then leaned over and kissed him lightly on the cheek. Then he blushed.
The two turned once again to gaze out over the loch. Minutes passed, then the girl spoke again. "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus."
"Well, uh I was thinkin'...perhaps its noo aboot time for a wee cuddle."
The girl blushed, then leaned over and cuddled him for a few seconds. Then he blushed.
Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch. After a while, she again said, "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus."
"Well, uh I was thinkin'...perhaps its aboot time you let me pewt ma hand on yer leg.
" The girl blushed, then took his hand and put it on her knee. Then he blushed.
Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch before the girl spoke again.
"Another penny for your thoughts, Angus."
The young man glanced down with a furled brow. "Well, noo," he said, "My thoughts are a wee bit more serious this time."
"Really?" said the girl in a whisper, filled with anticipation.
"Aye," said the lad, nodding. The girl looked away in shyness, began to blush, and bit her lip in anticipation of the ultimate request.
And he said, "Din'na ye think it's aboot time ye paid me the first three pennies?"
Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with
a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later the doctor spoke to Morris and said,
"You're really doing great, aren't you?"
Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma
and be cheerful.'"
The doctor said, "I didn't say that.
"A penny for your thoughts, Angus."
"Well, uh, I was thinkin'...perhaps it's aboot time for a wee kiss."
The girl blushed, then leaned over and kissed him lightly on the cheek. Then he blushed.
The two turned once again to gaze out over the loch. Minutes passed, then the girl spoke again. "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus."
"Well, uh I was thinkin'...perhaps its noo aboot time for a wee cuddle."
The girl blushed, then leaned over and cuddled him for a few seconds. Then he blushed.
Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch. After a while, she again said, "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus."
"Well, uh I was thinkin'...perhaps its aboot time you let me pewt ma hand on yer leg.
" The girl blushed, then took his hand and put it on her knee. Then he blushed.
Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch before the girl spoke again.
"Another penny for your thoughts, Angus."
The young man glanced down with a furled brow. "Well, noo," he said, "My thoughts are a wee bit more serious this time."
"Really?" said the girl in a whisper, filled with anticipation.
"Aye," said the lad, nodding. The girl looked away in shyness, began to blush, and bit her lip in anticipation of the ultimate request.
And he said, "Din'na ye think it's aboot time ye paid me the first three pennies?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with
a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later the doctor spoke to Morris and said,
"You're really doing great, aren't you?"
Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma
and be cheerful.'"
The doctor said, "I didn't say that.
I said, 'You've got a heart murmur
" Be careful.'"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and
pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching
his breath he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly,
"Crushed nuts?"
"No," he replied, "Arthritis"
pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching
his breath he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly,
"Crushed nuts?"
"No," he replied, "Arthritis"
posted by Jeanette at 3:06 pm
13 Comments:
Smashing jokes- they made me laugh.
Thank you for visiting my blog and the nice birthday wishes you left.
Keep well Jeanette,
:)xx
Cute Jokes today! I always love a good laugh!
LOL I love them all...I've copied them to give to my mom, she loves jokes like that to tell her friends! lol
Hi Mate.
Your jokes are L.O.L.keep up the good work, talk soon. xoxo
Very funny jokes! I especially liked that first one!
Junie
I just can't remember jokes like I used to.
My brother told me jokes when I was kid that I never forgot.
Like papa, mama, and baby mole were digging through the garden when papa popped up throught the earth surface right beneath the farm kitchen windows. "MMMM," said papa mole, " I smell pancakes and Maple syrup!"
Mama mole squeezed up tight right next to him and took a sniff.
"No, I think it's pancakes and Honey-butter."
Baby mole squeezed and squeezed and squeezed.... but couldnt'past his mole parents.
"You may be right about the pancakes,
he squeaked
"but I smell Molasses."
(since I found your blog, I come for a joke AND THE SONG! Love it.)
Hello Jan ~ Great jokes, thank you.
Also thanks for comments on my blog. Glad you enjoed the jokes etc. Mishelle
and I plan to have a lovely wee together
Hope you are keeping well. Love, Merle.
Hi Jan, thank goodness I don't have arthritis.
Oh you women down under. What DO they teach you? I agree with Peter about the arthritis. Your jokes crack me up. Glad I found your blog. May I re-publish some of them?
I don't know Jen - what you like?!!! You just had me laughing so much Tommy jumped off his chair thinking it was tail chasing time.
Hi,
LOL on the jokes very funny!
Janice~
ROTFL .. thanks again Jeanette,
Ditto! ROTFL What great jokes, really had me laughing. Cheers Margaret
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