A couple of Jokes
Here are a few lessons We could all learn from our beloved four legged friends
- When loved ones come home,always run to greet them.
- Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
- Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
- When it's in your best interest, practice obedience. Let others know when they've invaded your territory.
- Take naps.
- Stretch before rising.
- Run, romp, and play daily.
- Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
- Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
- On warm days, stop to lie on your back in the grass.
- On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.
- When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
- No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout..! run right back and make friends.
- Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
- Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.
- Stop when you have had enough.
- Be loyal. Never pretend to be something you're not.
- If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
- When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gentley
Two fleas from Detroit had an agreement to meet every winter in Miami for a vacation.
Last year when one flea gets to Miami, he's all blue, shivering and shaking, damn near froze to death!
The other flea asks him, "What the hell happened to you?"
The first flea says, "I rode down here from Mount Clemens in the moustache of a guy on a Harley."
The other flea responds saying," That's the worst way to travel. Try what I do. Go to the Metro airport bar. Have a few drinks. While you are there, look for a nice stewardess. Crawl up her leg and nestle in where it's warm and cosy. It's the best way to travel that I can think of."
The first flea thanks the second flea and says he will give it a try next winter.
A year goes by..... When the first flea shows up in Miami he is all blue, and shivering and shaking again. Damn near froze to death.
The second flea says, "Didn't you try what I told you?"
Yes," says the first flea, "I did exactly as you said...... I went to the Metro airport bar. I had a few drinks. Finally, this nice young stewardess Came in. I crawled right up to her warm cosy spot. It was so nice and warm that I fell asleep immediately.
When I woke up, I was back in the moustache of the guy on the Harley."
A second grader come home from school and said to her mother,
"Mum, guess what? We learned how to make babies today.
The Mother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool .
"Thats interesting" she said "How do u make babies?"
"Its simple" replied the girl. "You just change the "y" to "i" and add "es'
Hmmm tough one. Think carefully before you check the answer ............
You are driving in a car at a constant speed. On your left side is a valley and on your right side is a fire engine traveling at the same speed as you. In front of you is a galloping pig which is the same size as your car, and you cannot overtake it. Behind you is a helicopter flying at groundlevel. Both the giant pig and the helicopter are also traveling at the same speed as you.
What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?
Get off the children's "Merry-Go-Round", you're pissed!!.