Emily's Debut

Hi Everyone im back from my trip to Melbourne from visiting my very sick Brother (will post later on). Tonight's post is My Granddaughter Emily"s Debut who was partnered by Grandson Haden. a very proud Grandmother in attendance , We all had a great night starting at 6.30pm with pre dinner drinks and nibblies in the foyer about 7.30pm, the doors opened to the main ballroom we had a beautiful dinner and the Debs were presented to all the band started The Debs and partners did a couple of dances then the floor was opened to all, and I forgot to say alcohol was served all night. And a great night was had by all finally getting to bed about 4.30am. Well will end here as im very tired and I go for my tests tomorrow.
So to end with a few photo's of the night

My Beautiful Granddaughter Emily

Emily And Haden

Proud dad Gary Presenting Emily with her sash

Emily's Very proud parents Gary And Christine

Equally proud parents Dad Colin , Haden and Joanne

Two very happy Grandmothers Myself and Lynne, with Emily and Haden

Myself with two of my beautiful Daughters Joanne and Donna and my handsome Son Gary. Carol Is missing as she was unable to attend.

A LITTLE HUMOUR

Hi everyone. had busy few days. Now im going to Melbourne tomorrow for a few days with Gwen comming along to keep me company on the trip "thank you Gwen" staying at my daughter Joanne's for a few days . My granddaughter Emily( Gary's and Christine's )daughter is making her Debut on friday night which im looking forward to attending with all the family.I will take lots of photo's to show on my return. also visiting my very sick brother,Doing a little shopping buying a new printer, before we return home for me to have tests done in hospital on Wednesday. I will be back to visit you all as soon as possible . stay safe stay well.. Jen.

Now to finish off with a few jokes

Hole In One

Jimmy had been playing for twenty years but never had a hole-in-one.

As he was blasting away in a sandtrap one day and he voiced the thought.

"I'd give anything to get a hole-in-one."

"Anything?" came a voice from behind.

Jimmy turned to see a grinning, red-clad figure with horns and a tail."What did you have in mind?" Jimmy asked."Would you give up half your sex life?"asked the devilish figure.

"Yes, Yes I would." Jimmy replied. "It's a deal then." and the figure faded from sight.

On the very next hole he did it! The ball soared from his club in a perfect arc right into the hole for his first ever hole-in-one.

And amazingly, he aced every other hole that he played the rest of the day! At the end of the round, the figure in red appeared again.

"Now for our bargain,"

he said. "You remember you must give up half your sex life."Jimmy frowned.

"That gives me a bit of a problem," he said."You're not backing out of this," cried the figure.

"We struck a bargain and you agreed to it." "Yes, of course. But I do have a problem.Which half of my sex life do you want ... the thinking or the dreaming?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Little Johnny

One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands for who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice.
First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it." "Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully," he said. "Excellent, Michael!"
Then, the teacher called on little Johnny. "Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, 'Beautiful, just beautiful!'"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alabama Preacher and His Congregation

The Alabama preacher said to his Congregation,"Someone in this congregation has spread a rumorthat I belong to the Ku Klux Klan. This is a horriblelie and one which a Christian community cannottolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend toaccept this. Now, I want the party who did thisto stand and ask forgiveness from God and thisChristian family."No one moved.The preacher continued, "Do you have the nerveto face me and admit this is a falsehood?Remember, you will be forgiven and in yourheart you will feel glory. Now stand and confessyour transgression."Again all was quiet.Then slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde witha body that would stop traffic rose from the thirdpew. Her head was bowed and her voice quiveredas she spoke, "Reverend there has been a terriblemisunderstanding. I never said you were a memberof the Ku Klux Klan. I simply told a couple of myfriends you were a wizard under the sheets."The preacher fainted, and the congregation roared.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

The Drunk

A man is having a few drinks at a bar when he looks over and notices a drunk guy passed out at a table nearby.
The bartender tells him the drunk is Mr.Murphy and asks the man if he could drive Mr. Murphy home. Being a good Samaritan, the man agrees.
The bartender writes down the address and gives it to him.
The man walks over and tries to wake Mr.Murphy but Mr. Murphy is groggy and quite drunk.
The man helps Mr. Murphy to his feet and Mr.Murphy falls to the floor in a heap. "Jeez," the man says wondering how anyone could drink so much. He takes Murphy by the arm and practically drags him out to the car.
Once there he leans him against the side of his car while he looks for his keys. Mr. Murphy slides down to the ground. The man finds his keys and manages to get Murphy positioned in the car.
He then drives to the address the bartender gave him. He opens the passenger door and helps Mr.Murphy out and the guy falls to the ground.
Cursing softly now, the man helps him to his feet and practically drags him to the front door.
He lets go of Mr. Murphy to knock on the door and the guy falls down again.
He helps him to his feet as Mrs. Murphy answers the door.
"Hi, Mrs. Murphy?
Your husband had a little too much to drink tonight so I gave him a ride home." "That was nice of you," she says, looking around, "But....where's his wheelchair?"

~~~~~~~~~~~

Ramblings of a Retired Mind

Wisdom from Grandpa......
Whether a man winds up with a nest egg, or a goose egg, depends a lot on the kind of chick he marries.

Trouble in marriage often starts when a man gets so busy earnin' his salt that he forgets his sugar.

Too many couples marry for better, or for worse, but not for good

I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse.
I can't afford one. So, I'm wearing my rage door opener.

You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn't like me anyway.

I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans!

I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is 'when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.'

I thought about making a fitness movie, for folks my age, and call it "Pumping Rust.

"I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease. That's when your chest is falling into your drawers!

I know, when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?" Just once I wat o say, "No, it's for company!

"Employment application blanks always ask 'who is to be notified in case of an emergency.' I think you should write, "A Good Doctor!

"Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do -- write to these men? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they deliver the mail? Or better yet, arrest them while they are taking their pictures!

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then, it dawned on me, they were cramming for their finals. As for me, I'm just hoping God grades on the curve.

Enjoy Your Days-----"Love Your Life""Life is a journey to be savored."

I have been tagged by Puss-in-Boots .

Each player starts with seven random facts about themselves.
Here are my seven random facts:

1 I love my family dearly.
2 I am a Mother of4 all married, and Nan of 12 and step Nan of 4
3 I enjoy most seafoods, I detest Oysters Yuk!
4 I love watching Mcleods Daughters ( Aussie Television Show) I tape it if I go out .
5 I play Lawn and Carpet bowls (See September Post)
6 I love most vegetables specially Brussel sprouts.
7 And Last of all I like a good Brandy and Dry Ginger Ale with plenty of ice

Now I tag
Gwen
Val
Lee-ann
Gina
Rachel

Now to end with a story
This is truly a heart-warming story about the bond formed between a
little girl and some construction workers. This makes you want to
believe in the goodness of people and that there is hope for the
human race.
A young family moved into a house next door to a vacant lot. One day a
construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot.
The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest
in all the activity going on next door and started talking with the workers.
She hung around and eventually the construction crew, all of them gems-in-the-rough, more or less... adopted her as a kind of project mascot.
They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.
At the end of the first week, they presented her with a pay envelope containing a dollar.
The little girl took this home to her mother who said all the appropriate words of admiration and suggested that they take the dollar she had received to the bank the next day to start
a savings account. When they got to the bank, the teller was equally
impressed with the story and asked the little girl how she had come
by her very own pay check at such a young age.
The little girl proudly replied, "I worked all last week with a construction crew building a house."
My goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week, too?"
The little girl replied... "I will if those useless people at Bunnings ever bring us the f*cking plasterboard."

============

spuds

Old Sean lived alone in Ireland. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, Mick, who used to help him, was in an English prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:

Dear Mick,
I am feeling a rite down because it looks like I won't be able to plant me potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me.
Love, Dad.

A few days later he received a letter from his son:
Dear Father,
For CHRIST'S SAKE, don't dig up the garden! That's where I buried all them feckin' BODIES!
Love, Mick.

At 4 am the next morning, a dozen agents from Scotland Yard and local police officers showed up and dug up the entire garden down to a depth of about 6'. That evening, not finding any bodies, they apologized to the old man and left. The next day the old man received another letter from his son:

Dear Father,
Go ahead and plant yer spuds now. It's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love, Mick.

My Mothers Day

Hi everyone, I hope you all had a wonderful Mothers Day as I did.

My Family Carol,Gary and Joanne rang to wish me A happy mothers day as they live a few hours away, Donna rang to wish me happy Mothers day and to invite me out to lunch at La Porchetta's picking me up about 11.30 . As you can see by the smiles we had a lovely lunch. After lunch I went back to Brett and Donna's for a couple of hrs before comming home.

Starting end of table nearest to camera: Grandaughters Maddison 7 and Rylie 10, Daughter Donna, S.I.L Brett , Myself Jeanette and Grandson Kayne14. Brett waiting to be served his meal.

My Lunch ,A very Big favorite of mine

Garlic Prawns Prawns in a delicious garlic, white wine,parsley and cream sauce on rice.

Pet Humour keep smiling

All I Need to Know in Life I Learned from a COW

Wake up in a Happy MOOOOOD

Honor they FODDER and Mother and all you UDDER relatives

Never take any BULL from Anyone

Seize every opportunity and MILK it for all it's worth

It's better to be seen and not HERD

Don't forget to COWNT your blessings every day

BLACK & WHITE is always an appropriate fashion statement

Turn the UDDER cheek and MOOOOVE on

Always let them know who's the BOSS

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three male Labrador Retrievers

-- one chocolate, one yellow and one black were sittingin the waiting room at the vet's when they struck up a conversation.

The black Lab turned to the chocolate Lab and said, "So why are you here?"

The brown Lab replied, "I'm a pisser. I piss on everything....the sofa, the curtains,the cat, the kids.

But the final straw was last night when I pissed in the middle of myowner's bed.

"The black Lab said, "So what is the vet going to do?""Gonna cut my nuts off," came the reply from the chocolate Lab. "They reckon it'll calm me down.

The black Lab then turned to the yellow lab and asked, "Why are you here?"The yellow Lab said, "I'm a digger.

I dig under fences, dig up flowers and trees, I dig just for the hell of it. When I'm inside, I dig up the carpets. But I went over the line last night when I dug a great big hole in my owner's couch.""So what are they going to do to you?

" the black Lab inquired."Looks like I'm losing my nuts too". The dejected yellow Lab said.

The yellow Lab then turned to the black Lab and asked, "Why are you here?""I'm a humper," the black Lab said. "I'll hump anything. I'll hump the cat,a pillow, the table, fence posts, whatever. I want to hump everything I see."Yesterday, my owner had just got out of the shower and was bending down to dry her toes,and I just couldn't help myself. I hopped on her back and started humping away"

.The yellow and chocolate Labs exchanged a sad glance and said, "So, nuts off for you too, huh?"

The black Lab said.... "No, I'm here to get my nails clipped."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Kiss the frog"
My husband is 67 years old and loves to fish.

He was sitting in his boat the other day, when he heard a voice say, "Pick me up!!."He looked around for several minutes, but he couldn't see anyone.

The voice pleaded again, "Pick me up!"He looked in the water and there floating on the top was a frog.

My husband said, "Are you talking to me?" The frog replied, "Hell yes I'm talking to you!! Pick me up and give me a kiss and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen.

As a reward, I'll give you the most wonderful sexual pleasures you have ever seen or heard of.My husband looked at the frog for several minutes then reached over and picked the frog up carefully and placed it in his breast pocket.

Then the frog said, "Are you nuts, didn't you hear what I said?? I said kiss me and I will give you sexual pleasure like you've never had before?!"He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said, "At my age I would rather have a talking frog.

A Visit To Merle

Hi Everybody....Just thought I would show you a couple of snaps from

our visit to Merle,
after promising Merle for weeks, Gwen and Myself finally made it and we

took my sister Pauline.

WE all had a delightful afternoon tea the highlight being Merle's lovely caramel cookies, after a great chinwag and catching up on all the news, we were shown Merle's albumn of all her blogging friends with photo's attached and now we are able to put a face to all .

Above: "The Three Blogging Maids" Gwen, Merle. Jeanette.

Above: Pauline didnt want her photo taken but as you see we managed to get a photo of her

Below:These photo's were taken on Peters visit as he was heading back home to Queensland after his trip to Western Australia As you can see by the smiles, we were all very happy to see each other. Next time Peter promised to stay longer.

Above: Peter and Jeanette

above: Peter and Gwen

My House guest

Hi everyone, Another busy week, I am a bit late on reporting here , I returned Zoe home last weekend to Carol (Cazz) and Ian who live in Mooroopna , after dog sitting her While Carol and Ian were in Melbourne. As Ian had to have a triple bypass at Royal Melbourne Hospital, I am happy to report Ian is home and well on the road to recovery. I havent got a photo of Ian after his operation to publish.Well thats enough from me. So heres a few photo's to finish with.

Zoe my house guest on her pillow at my feet

Above: Yours Truly Delivering Zoe home

Below: Zoe at home with Cazz

These photo's below: were taken on another trip to Carol and Ians between Yarrawonga and Shepparton

Yellow Canola as far as you could see just outside of yarrawonga

Droving Cattle on the side of Hwy

Cattle heading for the trees to get some shelter from the hot sun

A fruit Orchard next door to Carols

Sunset as we arrive back in yarrawonga