Monday, May 21, 2007

Ramblings of a Retired Mind

Wisdom from Grandpa......
Whether a man winds up with a nest egg, or a goose egg, depends a lot on the kind of chick he marries.

Trouble in marriage often starts when a man gets so busy earnin' his salt that he forgets his sugar.

Too many couples marry for better, or for worse, but not for good

I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse.
I can't afford one. So, I'm wearing my rage door opener.

You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn't like me anyway.

I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans!

I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is 'when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.'

I thought about making a fitness movie, for folks my age, and call it "Pumping Rust.

"I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease. That's when your chest is falling into your drawers!

I know, when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?" Just once I wat o say, "No, it's for company!

"Employment application blanks always ask 'who is to be notified in case of an emergency.' I think you should write, "A Good Doctor!

"Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do -- write to these men? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they deliver the mail? Or better yet, arrest them while they are taking their pictures!

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then, it dawned on me, they were cramming for their finals. As for me, I'm just hoping God grades on the curve.

Enjoy Your Days-----"Love Your Life""Life is a journey to be savored."



Blogger Penless Thoughts said...

Enjoyed. I especially liked Pumping Rust. :o) Because my husband and I just started doing that 2 weeks ago. I'm using a 3 lb and he a 5 lb. I'm doing one set of 12 each and he is doing 1 sets. He's fortunate to get me to do one!!!!!

May 21, 2007 11:16 pm  
Blogger "Early Bird" said...

Loved it all but this...

I know, when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?" Just once I wat o say, "No, it's for company!

made me laugh out loud!!

May 21, 2007 11:33 pm  
Blogger smilnsigh said...

I love the title of this entry...
" Ramblings of a Retired Mind". Somehow that just makes me chuckle. ,-)


May 22, 2007 1:27 am  
Blogger PEA said...

Lol loved all of them! I also always wondered why they put pictures of criminals up in the post office! lol xox

May 22, 2007 2:27 am  
Blogger Val said...

Enjoy Your Days-----"Love Your Life" "Life is a journey to be savored."

This is my favorite item in your post!

May 22, 2007 3:15 pm  
Blogger Peter said...

Too close to home for me Jan, especially 3 and 5

May 22, 2007 4:04 pm  
Blogger Pamela said...

Fitness video... no thanks. I get all the exercise I need just fighting gravity.

May 22, 2007 5:17 pm  
Blogger Puss-in-Boots said...

I'm partly retired...does that mean some I can think only some of those thoughts???

Good fun, Jeanette, I love a laugh.


May 22, 2007 8:08 pm  
Anonymous colleen said...

I like the husbands on beer cans one. My husband looks at maps like other men look at centerfolds.

May 22, 2007 11:43 pm  
Blogger JunieRose2005 said...

all very funny, Jan!! :)

Thanks! I like coming here!

May 23, 2007 11:34 am  
Blogger Peggy said...

I knew I could come here for a chuckle before bed! Now I have a good answer when asked if I have cats! LOL

May 23, 2007 1:32 pm  
Blogger Lee-ann said...

((SMILES)) Yep! all so true!!!lol lol lol lol

So nice to be here a visiting you today have you had some rain your way "what a silly question" I did see the weather on the TV last night! lol lol lol anyway I see you have tagged me thanks I think!

lol lol lol lol!

May 23, 2007 2:31 pm  
Blogger Merle said...

Hi Jan ~~ Thanks for your comments.
I hope you have a good day in Melbourne tomorrow. Glad you liked the Cracked pot story. I think we all learn to smell the flowers, specially after cancer. Will be thinking of you next Wednesday - best of luck.
Take great care, Love, Merle.

May 23, 2007 7:26 pm  
Blogger Hootin'Anni said...

These are truly something to keep!! Not that I'm senior, wait! I AM!!

Okay, can I say, all the above are true!! Especially the body/furniture piece....can't get more truthful than THAT one.

May 23, 2007 11:51 pm  
Blogger Janice said...

I like all of those, and they are all so true.

May 26, 2007 6:16 pm  

Post a Comment

<< Home