Grandma's Apron

UPDATE
New fires threaten Victoria
The foothills of the Dandenong Ranges are the new fire front in Victoria, closer to Melbourne than the Black Saturday fires.

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G'day everyone, I hope your all well and healthy were ever you maybe .
. Im well.Just been doing the normal home duties, a little gardening ,and resting my foot. . and just trying to stay cool.. the Temps are on the rise again

The History of 'APRONS'

I don't think our kids know what an apron is.

The principal use of Grandma's apron was to protect the dress underneath,because she only had a few,it was easier to wash aprons than dresses and they used less material, but along with that, it served as a potholder for removing hot pans from the oven.

It was wonderful for drying children's tears, and on occasion was even used for cleaning out dirty ears.

From the chicken coop, the apron was used for carrying eggs, fussy chicks, and sometimes half-hatched eggs to be finished in the warming oven.

When company came, those aprons were ideal hiding places for shy kids.

nd when the weather was cold, grandma wrapped it around her arms.

Those big old aprons wiped many a perspiring brow, bent over the hot wood stove.

Chips and kindling wood were brought into the kitchen in that apron.

From the garden, it carried all sorts of vegetables.

After the peas had been shelled, it carried out the hulls.

In the fall, the apron was used to bring in apples that had fallen from the trees

.When unexpected company drove up the road, it was surprising how much furniture that old apron could dust in a matter of seconds.

When dinner was ready, Grandma walked out onto the porch, waved her apron, and the men knew it was time to come in from the fields to dinner.

It will be a long time before someone invents something that will replace that

' old-time apron' that served so many purposes

Aprons.REMEMBER:

Grandma used to set her hot baked apple pies on the window sill to cool.

Her granddaughters set theirs on the window sill to thaw.

They would go crazy now trying to figure out how many germs were on that apron.

I don't think I ever caught anything from an apron.

~~~~~~~~~`

NO Speak English

A Russian woman married a Canadian gentleman and they lived happily ever after in Toronto . The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but did manage to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries.

One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy chicken legs. She didn't know how to put forward her request, and in desperation, clucked like a chicken and lifted up her skirt to show her thighs. Her butcher got the message, and gave her the chicken legs.

Next day she needed to get chicken breasts, again she didn't know how to say it, and so she clucked like a chicken and unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breasts. The butcher understood again, and gave her some chicken breasts.

On the 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. Unable to find a way to communicate this, she brought her husband to the store...

V

V
V
V

What were you
thinking?
Hellooooooo, her husband speaks English!

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The Ballerina
heard this one the other day:

A husky brawny woman wearing a pink sleeveless frilly sun top walks into a bar.

She raised her right arm revealing a very hairy armpit and yelled:

"Who will buy a lady a drink?"

All become silent in the bar until a skinny little Irish drunk at the end of the bar says, "Bartender!

I'll buy that ballerina a drink!"

The bartender pours the drink and the woman chugs it down.

After she's finished she raises her arm once again and yells

"Who will buy a lady a drink? "

Once more, the bar grew silent as everyone tried to not look her way

.Once more the drunk declared:

"Bartender!

I' ll buy the ballerina a beer!"

This went on for several more rounds when the bartender leans into the Irishman and says:

"It's your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you call her the ballerina?" The drunk replied, "Sir! In my eyes, any woman who can lift her leg that high has got to be a ballerina!"

~~~~~~~``

TWO OLDIES.
Two old men decided they are close to their last days and decide to have the last night on the town.

After a few drinks ,they end up at the local brothel .

0The madam takes one look at the two old geezers and whispers to her manager go upto the first two bedrooms and put an inflated doll into each bed.

These two are so old and drunk im not wasting two of my girls on them they wont know the difference. The manager does as he is told and the old men go upstairs and take care of their business .

As they are walking home the first man says,"you know"I think my girl was dead !"DEAD"says his friend . Why do you say that ?

Well! she never moved or made a noise all the time I was loving her .

His friend said "could be worse I think mine was a witch. "A WITCH"?

Why the bloody hell would you say that ?

Well i was making love to her ,kissing her on the neck, and I gave her a little bite .

Then she farted and flew out the bloody window .......

Took my teeth with her.

~~~~~~~~~

KIDS

The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 8 year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a lollipop and tell him to report on all the neighborhood activities.
He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation: 'There's a car being towed from the parking lot', he shouted. 'An Ambulance just drove by.' 'Looks like the Anderson 's have company', he called out. 'Matt's riding a new bike....' 'Looks like the Sanders are moving' 'Jason is on his skate board....'
After a few moments he announced, 'The Coopers are having sex!!' Startled, his Mother and Dad shot up in bed! Dad cautiously called out,

'How do you know they are having sex?'
" Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a lollipop."

~~~~~~~~

William Shakespeare:
Do as the heavens have done, forget your evil;

With them forgive yourself.

Ella Wheeler Wilcox:
The truest greatness lies in being kind

the truest wisdom in a happy mind.

George Bernard Shaw:
We are made wise not by the recollection of our past,

but by the responsibility for our future.

Helen Keller:
I do not want the peace that passeth understanding.

I want the understanding which bringeth peace.

Mark Twain:
The perfection of wisdom, and the end of true philosophy is to proportion our wants to our possessions, our ambitions to our capacities, we will then be a happy and a virtuous people.

Time for some Laughter

Gday Everyone, Hope your all well were ever you maybe..

,I went to doctors for my 3 monthly checkup.

and a sore foot . got a good report. But done some ligament damage to my foot so its stapped up just have to rest it..

This fibre glass bowls Cow is at the entrance the Shepparton Park Bowling Club

.

Today I went with Bowlers from our Club as spectators

to the Australian Open bowls championships held in Shepparton ..

Were bowlers from all over Australia came to compete. There was also competitors from new Zealand and Ireland .. OHHH we saw some good bowling today. The Finals are telivised live Saturday so will watch that from my lounge room chair.....

Sorry Merle couldn't call in we had a bus load..

.

Now on with a few Jokes

Poor Paddy

Paddy was working at the fish plant in Cork when he accidentally cut off all 10 of his fingers.
He went to the emergency room in Cork 's hospital.
The doctor looked at Paddy and said, 'Lets be avin' da fingers and I'll see what oi can do'.
Paddy said, 'Oi haven't got da fingers.'
'Whadda ya mean you haven't got da fingers?
Lord Tunderin' Jesus, it's 2007!
We's got microsurgery and all kinds of incredible techniques.
I could have put dem back on and made you like new!

Why didn't ya bring da fingers?!?'
And Paddy said, ' How da fock was I 'spose to pick them up !!!

*********

Little boy on the Bus

A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards.

The little boy asked why he wore his collar backwards.
The man, who was a priest, said, 'I am a Father.
'The little boy replied, 'My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like that.
'The priest looked up from his book and answered, ''I am the Father of many.
'The boy said, ''My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he doesn't wear his collar that way!
'The priest, getting impatient, said. 'I am the Father of hundreds', and went back to reading his book.
The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and said,

'Maybe you should wear a condom and put your pants on backwards instead of your collar.
*********

Tickle Me Elmo

There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes The Tickle Me Elmo toys.

The toy laughs when you tickle It under the arms.
Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 AM.
The next day at 8:45 AM there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door.
The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new Employee.
He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole Line is backing up, putting the entire production line Behind schedule.
The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for Himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor.
When they get there the line is so backed up that there Are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're Really beginning to pile up.
At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains Of Tickle Me Elmo's.
She has a roll of plush Red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles.
The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece Of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to Carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs.
The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter.
After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Lena .
'I'm sorry,' he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, 'but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you Yesterday...'

'Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles.

*********

GOLF LESSONS

A foursome of guys is waiting at the men's tee, whileAnother foursome of women is hitting from the ladies' tees.
The ladies are taking their time.
When the final lady isReady to hit off, she hacks the ball ten feet, she goes over and whiffs it completely.then she hacks it another ten feet, and finally hacks it another five feet.
She looks up at the patiently waiting men and says apologetically,"I guess all those f****** lessons I took over the winter didn't help.
"One of the men immediately responds,
"Well, there you have it, you should have taken golf Lessons instead!
"He never even had a chance to duck.

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The love story of Ralph and Edna...

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.

One day while they were walking past

the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end.
He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.
Edna promptly jumped in to save him.

She swam to the bottom and pulled him out.

When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news.

The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love.

I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.
The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him.

I am so sorry, but he's dead.'
Edna replied,

'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry.

How soon can I go home?
~~~~~~~~

Thats all folk I promise to get around to visiting you all in the next couple of days..

Smokey Sky

Gday all.

Three cheers to ALL the exhausted firies ,Co'ordinators, Volunteers, For there hard fought efforts in fighting these devasting fires. there still burning in many places
And everyone that has donated either money. much needed goods, or given their time freely to help the victims from this terrible disaster..

Last night Our Television ,Channel Nine Melbourne ran a Telethon to raise money for the victims of these terrible devastating BUSH FIRES The worst Australia has seen .. Well over S12 Million dollars was raised and adding that to all othermoney raised by other concerns , sporting bodies, business houses, and just ordinary people its overr $90 Million at this Moment ..

Im Proud to be an AUSSIE..

Update: They have just arrested a 36 year old Male in Gippsland for lighting some of the fires and Taken him to Melbourne for his own safety

On with a few Photo's

The first Three are of a very thirsty Koala Getting a drink from a sprinkler

I took the next few photo's Tuesday
Sunrise over my back yard can you see the reflection on the pool.
i took this one as I was putting my bowling gear in the car for pennant.

Yarrawonga was shrouded in smoke from the bush fire
this was taken looking down my street as I arrived home from bowls

Standing out the front of my house

Standing in my backyard looking across the neighbours

and again

over my back fence.

Sunset in a smoke filled sky...

Victoria On fire

Gday Everyone.I thank all that Inquired on my safety during these horrendous bush fires .
I am safe and well , And about 1 hr away from beechworth and 2hrs from the Wandong Whittlesea turn off, Well away from devastation these fires have caused.

Tonights post I sourced from daily papers and some Photo's I actually took from the Tv.during the news broadcast .

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A series of bushfires, including 31 major fires, ignited across the Australian state of Victoria, on 7 February 2009. The fires have so far resulted in at least 173 deaths, and 78 people have been admitted to hospitals across Victoria with burns, at least 20 in a critical condition, and 9 on life support or in intensive care,

The fires have destroyed at least 922 homes, Many towns northeast of Melbourne have been almost completely destroyed, particularly; Kinglake, Marysville, Narbethong and Strathewen .

The fires occurred during the latter part of an exceptional heat wave, on a day when several localities across the state, including the state capital of Melbourne, recorded their highest temperatures since records began in 1859. The numerous fires are largely the result of recent lightning strikes, although some are suspected to have been deliberately lit by arsonists—whose action has been described as "mass murder" by the Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd.

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Towns have been declared crime scenes and the death toll in Victoria's bushfires could top 200 as the grisly search for bodies continues in communities which have been completely wiped out.

By today, the toll had reached 173 but that figure was certain to climb as identification experts were called in to take over from volunteer firefighters with the grim task of recovering bodies.

Senior fire and parks officials have told staff they fear the toll will double.

More than 700 homes have been destroyed, 330,000 hectares have been burnt out and more than 52 fires were listed as still burning throughout the state on Monday.

It was impossible to tell how many people were missing, authorities said, while one insurance company said the fires could cost half a billion dollars.

The Kinglake area remains the worst-hit by a fierce 220,000 hectare firestorm which ripped through the region on Saturday, killing 103 people so far and destroying over 550 homes.

At least 33 residents from the township of Kinglake alone have been killed, and a further nine from Kinglake West, with more expected.

The once idyllic communities of Kinglake, Strathewen and Marysville are little more than collections of ash and charcoal, with a few burnt-out house frames standing limply amid charred corrugated iron.

"This is of a level of horror that few of us anticipated."

Burnt-out cars which became tombs lined bush roads in the central highlands and volunteers were recovering the charred remains of friends and colleagues.

Huge emergency relief operations are underway throughout the state, with a massive exercise at Whittlesea which is serving survivors from Kinglake and its environs.

Tent cities have been set up in areas such as nearby Yea, while caravans, community halls and strangers' houses have become homes to thousands of newly homeless alone have been killed, and a further nine from Kinglake West, with more expected.

I actually travel along here the Whittlesea/Wandong road, when i visit my son and his family

Heatwave

Gday All, My home is empty again after a nice few days with My girls and grandchildren. .
Tuesday I played pennant, our team was in front but the game was stopped at 37c=98.7 before completion due to the heat rule over 36c . Phewwwww it has been hot.
Wednesday and Thursday I took my friend Gwen to Wangaratta to have a couple of tests as she has been feeling very unwell. Hope your feeling well and back to your old self very soon Gwen..
My Sister Pauline stayed Wednesday Night as we had early start thursday
she came along to keep me company and have little retail therapy
while Gwen..was having her tests......

The next two Items were in this weeks local paper .(click to enlarge all pics )The paper says it all and more heat on the way Tomorrow forcast 44c+ thats about 111f I think a cool change been advertized for middle of the week high 20sc to low 30sc but will just wait and see.

A few minutes from home

This photo was sent to me by a friend
who found this Koala in a tree in her driveway

Seraha, Emily, Kayne, Nathan.and Penny on kick board after her swim to cool down staying out of the sun under the umbrella.

Here we are Carol, Chris, Myself (Jen) and Donna, in Donna's pool cooling off , you might say why ,,

I accidently left the solar on while the cover was still on the pool. Ohh Boy!!! was like getting into a hot bath and took a couple of days to cool down... Hehe Carol said she thought I might have been trying to make Human soup,,,LoL

Thats all folk, to all in the grip of winter stay well and all you Aussie's out there try to keep cool.in this heatwave,, CHEERS JEN