Time for some Laughter

Gday Everyone, Hope your all well were ever you maybe..

,I went to doctors for my 3 monthly checkup.

and a sore foot . got a good report. But done some ligament damage to my foot so its stapped up just have to rest it..

This fibre glass bowls Cow is at the entrance the Shepparton Park Bowling Club

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Today I went with Bowlers from our Club as spectators

to the Australian Open bowls championships held in Shepparton ..

Were bowlers from all over Australia came to compete. There was also competitors from new Zealand and Ireland .. OHHH we saw some good bowling today. The Finals are telivised live Saturday so will watch that from my lounge room chair.....

Sorry Merle couldn't call in we had a bus load..

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Now on with a few Jokes

Poor Paddy

Paddy was working at the fish plant in Cork when he accidentally cut off all 10 of his fingers.
He went to the emergency room in Cork 's hospital.
The doctor looked at Paddy and said, 'Lets be avin' da fingers and I'll see what oi can do'.
Paddy said, 'Oi haven't got da fingers.'
'Whadda ya mean you haven't got da fingers?
Lord Tunderin' Jesus, it's 2007!
We's got microsurgery and all kinds of incredible techniques.
I could have put dem back on and made you like new!

Why didn't ya bring da fingers?!?'
And Paddy said, ' How da fock was I 'spose to pick them up !!!

*********

Little boy on the Bus

A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards.

The little boy asked why he wore his collar backwards.
The man, who was a priest, said, 'I am a Father.
'The little boy replied, 'My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like that.
'The priest looked up from his book and answered, ''I am the Father of many.
'The boy said, ''My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he doesn't wear his collar that way!
'The priest, getting impatient, said. 'I am the Father of hundreds', and went back to reading his book.
The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and said,

'Maybe you should wear a condom and put your pants on backwards instead of your collar.
*********

Tickle Me Elmo

There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes The Tickle Me Elmo toys.

The toy laughs when you tickle It under the arms.
Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 AM.
The next day at 8:45 AM there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door.
The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new Employee.
He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole Line is backing up, putting the entire production line Behind schedule.
The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for Himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor.
When they get there the line is so backed up that there Are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're Really beginning to pile up.
At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains Of Tickle Me Elmo's.
She has a roll of plush Red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles.
The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece Of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to Carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs.
The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter.
After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Lena .
'I'm sorry,' he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, 'but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you Yesterday...'

'Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles.

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GOLF LESSONS

A foursome of guys is waiting at the men's tee, whileAnother foursome of women is hitting from the ladies' tees.
The ladies are taking their time.
When the final lady isReady to hit off, she hacks the ball ten feet, she goes over and whiffs it completely.then she hacks it another ten feet, and finally hacks it another five feet.
She looks up at the patiently waiting men and says apologetically,"I guess all those f****** lessons I took over the winter didn't help.
"One of the men immediately responds,
"Well, there you have it, you should have taken golf Lessons instead!
"He never even had a chance to duck.

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The love story of Ralph and Edna...

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.

One day while they were walking past

the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end.
He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.
Edna promptly jumped in to save him.

She swam to the bottom and pulled him out.

When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news.

The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love.

I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.
The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him.

I am so sorry, but he's dead.'
Edna replied,

'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry.

How soon can I go home?
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Thats all folk I promise to get around to visiting you all in the next couple of days..