Duty Calls !

Hi everyone out there in the blogging community, this is Nurse Carol signing in to keep you all updated on the whereabouts of your missing blogger mate, and my patient, "Lady Jen".

I arrived Tuesday afternoon (13.10.09) summoned by Lady Jen, as she had organised a surprise treat. I left the hubby at home, jumped in my car and drove the hour over, all excited, wondering what was my "treat and surprise", the imagination can conjure up all sorts of things over a space of an hour.
Upon my arrival, Aunty Pauline was here, and they both had big grins on their faces, they had booked me in with them to travel to Melbourne with the Lady Bowlers to see the stage show performance of "The Jersey Boys". We left Yarrawonga by tour bus Wednesday morning at 6.45am , which to me is the middle of the night, and we didn't get back home until 9pm, it was a long day but well worth it. If you get a chance to catch the show, do so, its bloody brilliant!

Thursday morning its up again and out the house by 7.30am, to travel to Wangaratta for mum to have her right eye done (cataract surgery), so its back to drops every four hours, blurred eyesight, and alot of bossing around !!! and I must say she is not being as co-operative as the first time round, I'm finding it REALLLLYYYY hard keeping her off of her computer and out of the garden.

Keeping mum out of her garden is like keeping the pope out of a church, I turn my back for a few minutes only to find her pulling a weed or two, mum blames it on this beautiful spring weather we are having, she says "it just inspires you to get out of the house and in amongst the dirt and weeds and start prettying things up" .

.... well I'm not much of a gardener, to tell you the truth, the green thumb jumped me altogether, I kill off more than I manage to nurture. I also suffer badly with "hayfever", hence I dont find gardening relaxing at all, its a darn chore that I'd rather pass on to someone else to do .... anywayyyyyyyy .... being the GOOD daughter that I am, I dose myself up with anti-histamine, gear up - gloves, rakes, shovels and other unknown implements, that mum assures me that I will need, and I hit the garden. Mum grabs her camera, as this is a very monumentos occassion, and worthy of taking a few snaps!

Removing the dead "bits" from the pots

Getting in amongst it all

Penny wanting to play ball, not garden .. she won !!!!

Wellllll, after fighting off spiders, lizards and other creepy crawlies, I call it quits.

Its time to clean up and head inside to start my next lot of chores, making a cuppa and cooking her Ladyships dinner. I must say I didnt realise how many darn "cuppas" my mother drank until I had to start making them all !

Until next time, have fun, stay safe and think of me sitting here scratching, sneezing and cursing her bloody garden.

Nurse Cazz

xxooxx

PS: Mum insists that I finish off with a few jokes, so keep on reading and have a laugh.

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by.

He gets into the taxi and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing.

Cabbie: "You're just like Frank"
Passenger: "Who?"
Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time."

Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."
Cabbie: "Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy."
Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special."
Cabbie: "There's more ... He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything.

Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out.

But Frank Feldman, he could do everything right.."
Passenger: "Wow, some guy then."
Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them.

But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good.

He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too.

He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake.

No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman."
Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"
Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Frank. He died ... I'm married to his f***ing widow." And she Knows Everything,,,

~~~~~~~~~

To end with Little Johnny!!! .

Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father.

He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs, rump, and chest.

After a few minutes, Johnny asked, 'Dad, why are you doing that?' His father replied, 'Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy them.
Johnny, looking all worried, said, 'Dad, I think the Telstra guy wants to buy Mum.'

~~~~~~~~~~~

Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local Police Station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. 'Yes,' said the policeman.
'The detectives want very badly to capture him.' Little Johnny asked, 'Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?'

~~~~~~

A mother took five-year-old Johnny with her to the bank on a busy lunchtime.
They got behind a very fat woman wearing a business suit complete with pager.
After waiting patiently for a few minutes, the little Johnny said loudly, "Wow, she's fat! The
mother bent down and whispered in the little Johnny's ear to be quiet.

A couple more minutes passed by and little Johnny stretched his arms out as far as they would go and announced; "I'll bet her bum is this wide!" The fat woman turned around and glared at the little Johnny.

The mother gave him a good telling off, and told him to be quiet. After a brief lull, the large woman reached the front of the queue.

Just then her pager begin to emit a "beep, beep, beep". Then little Johnny yelled out, "Everybody run for your life, she's reversing!!"

~~~~~~~~~

What Do You Do All Day?

Hi Everyone. I Hope alls well with everyone, Im very well .And not a lot to report I'm back bowling and after missing so many Comp's and social days due to Appointments and my eyes. I was very pleased to be picked in the pennant team to say the least, We played Swanpool last Tuesday, 1st game of the pennant season, our team won by 3 shots but lost overall as the other 2 teams lost.Lets hope next tuesday we all have a win.



Now time to find a few jokes.


What Do You Do All Day?


A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still
in their pyjamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and
wrappers strewn all around the front yard.
The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the
house and there was no sign of the dog.
Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess.

A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall.

In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing.

In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.

He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife.

He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened.

He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door.

As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soapand more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls. As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pyjamas, reading a novel.

She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went.

He looked at her bewildered and asked, '

What happened here today?'

She again smiled and answered, 'You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me sarcastically what in the world I do all day?'

'Yes,' was his incredulous reply. She answered,


'Well, today, I didn't do it.'???

~~~~~~~~

CAKE OR BED

A husband is at home watching a football match when hi wife interupts ,

Honey ! could you fix the light in the ? its been flickering for weeks now..

He looks at her and says angrily .

fix the light now?

Does it look like I have energex written on my forehead ? I don't think so.

Fine ,the the wife asks well then, could you fix the the fridge door? it wont close To which he replied .

Fix the fridge door?

does it look like I have westinghouse written on my forehead ? I dont think so Fine,

She then says you could at least fix the steps to the front door ?they are about to break Im not a carpenter and I dont wont to fix to fix the steps he says, Does it look like I have Bunnings written on mt forehead? I dont think so .

I've had enough of you, . I'm going to the pub!!!!

So off to the pub he goes and drinks for a couple of hours..

He starts to feel Guilty about how he treated his wife ,and decides to go home. As he walks into the house he notices that the steps have been fixed .

As he enters the house he sees the hall light is working, as he goes for a beer he notices the fridge door has been fixed. HONEY, He asks , " How did all this get fixed?

She said , Well, when you left I sat outside and cried just then a nice young man asked me what was wrong ,and I told him . He offered to do all the repairs ,and all I had to do was either go to bed with him or bake a cake. He said so what kind of cake did you bake? .. She replied . Helllllllooooooo!!!!!!!,

DO YOU SEE SARA LEE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?

I DON'T THINK SO!

~~~~~~~~

My Very FIRST TIME!!!

It was my first time ever
And I'll never forget.

I'd do it again
Without a single regret.

The sky was dark,

The moon was high,
We were all alone,

Just she and I.

Her hair was soft,
Her eyes were blue,

I knew just what
She wanted to do.

Her skin so soft,
Her legs so fine,

I ran my fingers
Down her spine.

I didn't know how,
But I tried my best.

I started by placing
My hands on her breast.
I remember my fear,.

My fast beating heart
But slowly she spread
Her legs apart.

And when I did it
I felt no shame...

All of a sudden,
the white stuff came!

At last it's finished,
It's all over now.

My first time ever
At milking a cow.

GOTCHA

Now, what were you thinking??!!