Sunday, October 04, 2009

What Do You Do All Day?


Hi Everyone. I Hope alls well with everyone, Im very well .And not a lot to report I'm back bowling and after missing so many Comp's and social days due to Appointments and my eyes. I was very pleased to be picked in the pennant team to say the least, We played Swanpool last Tuesday, 1st game of the pennant season, our team won by 3 shots but lost overall as the other 2 teams lost.Lets hope next tuesday we all have a win.



Now time to find a few jokes.



What Do You Do All Day?



A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still
in their pyjamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and
wrappers strewn all around the front yard.
The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the
house and there was no sign of the dog.
Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess.

A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall.

In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing.

In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.

He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife.

He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened.

He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door.

As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soapand more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls. As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pyjamas, reading a novel.

She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went.

He looked at her bewildered and asked, '

What happened here today?'

She again smiled and answered, 'You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me sarcastically what in the world I do all day?'

'Yes,' was his incredulous reply. She answered,


'Well, today, I didn't do it.'???



~~~~~~~~


CAKE OR BED

A husband is at home watching a football match when hi wife interupts ,

Honey ! could you fix the light in the ? its been flickering for weeks now..

He looks at her and says angrily .
fix the light now?

Does it look like I have energex written on my forehead ? I don't think so.
Fine ,the the wife asks well then, could you fix the the fridge door? it wont close To which he replied .
Fix the fridge door?
does it look like I have westinghouse written on my forehead ? I dont think so Fine,

She then says you could at least fix the steps to the front door ?they are about to break Im not a carpenter and I dont wont to fix to fix the steps he says, Does it look like I have Bunnings written on mt forehead? I dont think so .

I've had enough of you, . I'm going to the pub!!!!
So off to the pub he goes and drinks for a couple of hours..

He starts to feel Guilty about how he treated his wife ,and decides to go home. As he walks into the house he notices that the steps have been fixed .

As he enters the house he sees the hall light is working, as he goes for a beer he notices the fridge door has been fixed. HONEY, He asks , " How did all this get fixed?
She said , Well, when you left I sat outside and cried just then a nice young man asked me what was wrong ,and I told him . He offered to do all the repairs ,and all I had to do was either go to bed with him or bake a cake. He said so what kind of cake did you bake? .. She replied . Helllllllooooooo!!!!!!!,

DO YOU SEE SARA LEE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?

I DON'T THINK SO!

~~~~~~~~

My Very FIRST TIME!!!

It was my first time ever
And I'll never forget.

I'd do it again
Without a single regret.

The sky was dark,

The moon was high,
We were all alone,

Just she and I.

Her hair was soft,
Her eyes were blue,

I knew just what
She wanted to do.

Her skin so soft,
Her legs so fine,

I ran my fingers
Down her spine.

I didn't know how,
But I tried my best.

I started by placing
My hands on her breast.
I remember my fear,.

My fast beating heart
But slowly she spread
Her legs apart.

And when I did it
I felt no shame...
All of a sudden,
the white stuff came!

At last it's finished,
It's all over now.

My first time ever
At milking a cow.


GOTCHA



Now, what were you thinking??!!

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16 Comments:

Blogger Puss-in-Boots said...

Hi Jen...very naughty and very good, especially the first one!

October 04, 2009 7:07 pm  
Blogger Merle said...

Hi Dear Jan ~~ Glad you are able to bowl again and got chosen to play
Pennant. Loved the jokes, all good,
but I feel you left a line or two out of the middle one. Cake or Bed?
I think she got someone to fix everything for either cake or bed &
she didn't have Sara Lee etc.
Thanks for your comments, I seem to be always busy and getting nowhere.
Must try and pull my socks up. Hope it warms up a bit soon. Have a great week my friend.
Love Always, Merle.

October 04, 2009 7:31 pm  
Blogger Peter said...

What do you do all day?

NOTHING... but I'm very good at it.

October 04, 2009 11:58 pm  
Blogger Gattina said...

So your eyes are OK, that's good news !
What about this terrible sand storm was your area not concerned ?

October 05, 2009 1:05 am  
Blogger Margaret Cloud said...

I really like the what did you do all day, husbands sometimes get the idea we sit on our butts, I know I got tired of my husband asking, but never thought to leave the house a mess, very good one. My thoughts were going in the wrong direction on the cow one, naughty me. Very funny post, and thank you for coming by.

October 05, 2009 3:35 am  
Blogger Tinsie said...

Welcome back, Jen! Glad to hear you're doing well, even if small print is still a challenge :-)

October 05, 2009 6:11 am  
Blogger Gramma Ann said...

Hi Jen,

I am glad to hear the eyes are doing well. I liked the joke "What did you do all day?" After raising 5 kids I can relate to that one. It seems when the hubby goes off to work, he thinks nothing is done at home all day, but read and eat chocolates. Surprise!

Thanks for your visit and comment. I hope you have a nice week, and your surgery goes well on the other eye.

Ann

October 05, 2009 8:45 am  
Blogger Janice said...

Hi Jeanette,

I'm glad your eyes are better and you got to bowl again. I hope you win the next one.

Loved the jokes, take care.
Janice~

October 05, 2009 7:39 pm  
Blogger Lady Di Tn said...

Glad to see y'all back having some fun and entertaining us again. Yep you got me. LOL Peace

October 06, 2009 1:27 am  
Blogger Kate said...

I needed a laugh today and that one "got me" !! Just checking in to read a few posts! ( Renae's Mom)

October 07, 2009 8:11 am  
Blogger Bob said...

Hi Jeanette, I'm glad to see that your sight has recovered enough to allow you to do something that you enjoy. Its nice to win but even better to be able to take part I think. ATB Bob.

October 07, 2009 5:57 pm  
Blogger Merle said...

Hi Dear Jan ~~ Thanks for your comments and it's not long until your other eye gets done. Thank
Heaven for Carol. I love lamb with mint sauce or jelly on it.
Jan I hope you didn't mind me saying
you missed a bit, I know your sight isn't the best at present, glad you fixed it. If ever I made a lunder, please let me know.
Take great care and be patient just a bit longer. Much love,always,Merle

October 07, 2009 11:20 pm  
Blogger Jim said...

Hi Jan, I'm glad you are back to your bowling! Is the fine print getting any easier to read? I do hope so.

Your 'finds' were really good this time. Yes, I remember ... the first time I milked that cow and ... I have posted about the cow. My Dad tricked me. I've been tricked before and after the cow but won't go into that here.

I wasn't looking for cake or bed. That one sneaked up on me big time.

Cheers,
..

October 08, 2009 3:48 am  
Blogger Merle said...

Dear Jan ~~ The very best of luck with the second eye op and hope that
you will soon have better sight and feel like a new woman. I think it was the 15th, will say a prayer for you and will be thinking of you, my dear friend. Love always, Merle.

October 14, 2009 9:31 pm  
Blogger Meggie said...

Some good laughs Jen. Glad you are feeling well.

October 15, 2009 4:50 pm  
Blogger Marjorie said...

I hope you are healing well after the surgery.

I am sure it is great having your daughter there to help you with the gardening, etc. Penny is doing her share too, I see her in the garden, supervising.

Take care, listen to Carol she has your best interest at heart :)

October 21, 2009 12:42 pm  

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