Reporting In !!!!

G'day everyone, sorry about the lack of posts, but we have had a very busy time here. So much to be done, so many places to visit - doctors, specialists, catching up with old friends and visits from family members and in the middle of it all we had used up all Mum's broadband useage for the month .. oooopppps .. let me tell you "Not a happy Jan".. LMAO ... soooooo ... let me fill you all in on the going ons.

* Mum has had a slight setback in both eyes, she now has fluid in the retina, its a very rare occurance, I think the specialist said 1 / 10,000 .. naturally my mother is one of them ! There is nothing that can be done except MORE drops and time. We went back to specialist on Wednesday and I'm happy to report a slight improvement (reduction in fluid) but Mums sight has deteriated slightly. We have our fingers crossed that it will improve again once the fluid has dispersed.

* Aunty Pauline had her 6mth check up at her oncologist, and we are happy to report all is well and she doesnt have to go back for another 12mths. BIGGGG sigh of relief.

* Mums friend and neighbour Marge suffered a heart attack, and ambulanced down to Melbourne. We are happy to report she is now back home with a pacemaker and doing extremely well. I'm affectionately known as "meals in slippers" as I cook and take there evening meal into them .. I'm just lucky they are not fussy eaters !

Well thats enough about the nursing reports ... think I'm just about qualified now - could be an optimologist with all the new learnings !

* I would like to thank Merle for her phone calls and chats with mum, your a very special lady - THANK YOU xxooxx

Ones chores dont end just with nursing .. ohhh nooooo .. along with cook, cleaner, go getter, my side line is dog groomer and walker ... and what a job that is. My hubby Ian come up for the week end and brought along my babies for a little TLC.


Here I am grooming Penny, with my babies Zoey, Milly and Bonnie eagerly awaiting their turn.

All looking pretty and fluffed up, off for a walk down to the river.

All a bit to much for Penny... here she is catching a few ZZZZZZZ's

Joanne, Colin and tribe along with Tanya, Rod and there tribe arrived last weekend for a catch up visit and the first seasonal dip in the pool .. and what a hot one it was 38 - 40 deg C.

Heres Jack, Jo & Cols baby - sire to Milly & Bonnie .. we affectionately refer to him as "Sir Humpalot" !
I have been here at mums for over a month now, and will be heading home later next week if all goes well to catch up with my chores at home .. grrrrr .. then I shall be returning early next month to do the rounds of the doctors and specialists again. Lady Jen has had her orders to abstain from the computer and gardening, but I know I'm wasting my breath, but at least I've tried !!!

Stay safe, be happy until next time we chat !!!

PS: Lady Jen will be around to visit you all shortly ... in small bursts I hope !!!!

Duty Calls !

Hi everyone out there in the blogging community, this is Nurse Carol signing in to keep you all updated on the whereabouts of your missing blogger mate, and my patient, "Lady Jen".

I arrived Tuesday afternoon (13.10.09) summoned by Lady Jen, as she had organised a surprise treat. I left the hubby at home, jumped in my car and drove the hour over, all excited, wondering what was my "treat and surprise", the imagination can conjure up all sorts of things over a space of an hour.
Upon my arrival, Aunty Pauline was here, and they both had big grins on their faces, they had booked me in with them to travel to Melbourne with the Lady Bowlers to see the stage show performance of "The Jersey Boys". We left Yarrawonga by tour bus Wednesday morning at 6.45am , which to me is the middle of the night, and we didn't get back home until 9pm, it was a long day but well worth it. If you get a chance to catch the show, do so, its bloody brilliant!

Thursday morning its up again and out the house by 7.30am, to travel to Wangaratta for mum to have her right eye done (cataract surgery), so its back to drops every four hours, blurred eyesight, and alot of bossing around !!! and I must say she is not being as co-operative as the first time round, I'm finding it REALLLLYYYY hard keeping her off of her computer and out of the garden.

Keeping mum out of her garden is like keeping the pope out of a church, I turn my back for a few minutes only to find her pulling a weed or two, mum blames it on this beautiful spring weather we are having, she says "it just inspires you to get out of the house and in amongst the dirt and weeds and start prettying things up" .

.... well I'm not much of a gardener, to tell you the truth, the green thumb jumped me altogether, I kill off more than I manage to nurture. I also suffer badly with "hayfever", hence I dont find gardening relaxing at all, its a darn chore that I'd rather pass on to someone else to do .... anywayyyyyyyy .... being the GOOD daughter that I am, I dose myself up with anti-histamine, gear up - gloves, rakes, shovels and other unknown implements, that mum assures me that I will need, and I hit the garden. Mum grabs her camera, as this is a very monumentos occassion, and worthy of taking a few snaps!

Removing the dead "bits" from the pots

Getting in amongst it all

Penny wanting to play ball, not garden .. she won !!!!

Wellllll, after fighting off spiders, lizards and other creepy crawlies, I call it quits.

Its time to clean up and head inside to start my next lot of chores, making a cuppa and cooking her Ladyships dinner. I must say I didnt realise how many darn "cuppas" my mother drank until I had to start making them all !

Until next time, have fun, stay safe and think of me sitting here scratching, sneezing and cursing her bloody garden.

Nurse Cazz

xxooxx

PS: Mum insists that I finish off with a few jokes, so keep on reading and have a laugh.

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by.

He gets into the taxi and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing.

Cabbie: "You're just like Frank"
Passenger: "Who?"
Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time."

Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."
Cabbie: "Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy."
Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special."
Cabbie: "There's more ... He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything.

Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out.

But Frank Feldman, he could do everything right.."
Passenger: "Wow, some guy then."
Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them.

But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good.

He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too.

He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake.

No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman."
Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"
Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Frank. He died ... I'm married to his f***ing widow." And she Knows Everything,,,

~~~~~~~~~

To end with Little Johnny!!! .

Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father.

He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs, rump, and chest.

After a few minutes, Johnny asked, 'Dad, why are you doing that?' His father replied, 'Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy them.
Johnny, looking all worried, said, 'Dad, I think the Telstra guy wants to buy Mum.'

~~~~~~~~~~~

Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local Police Station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. 'Yes,' said the policeman.
'The detectives want very badly to capture him.' Little Johnny asked, 'Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?'

~~~~~~

A mother took five-year-old Johnny with her to the bank on a busy lunchtime.
They got behind a very fat woman wearing a business suit complete with pager.
After waiting patiently for a few minutes, the little Johnny said loudly, "Wow, she's fat! The
mother bent down and whispered in the little Johnny's ear to be quiet.

A couple more minutes passed by and little Johnny stretched his arms out as far as they would go and announced; "I'll bet her bum is this wide!" The fat woman turned around and glared at the little Johnny.

The mother gave him a good telling off, and told him to be quiet. After a brief lull, the large woman reached the front of the queue.

Just then her pager begin to emit a "beep, beep, beep". Then little Johnny yelled out, "Everybody run for your life, she's reversing!!"

~~~~~~~~~

What Do You Do All Day?

Hi Everyone. I Hope alls well with everyone, Im very well .And not a lot to report I'm back bowling and after missing so many Comp's and social days due to Appointments and my eyes. I was very pleased to be picked in the pennant team to say the least, We played Swanpool last Tuesday, 1st game of the pennant season, our team won by 3 shots but lost overall as the other 2 teams lost.Lets hope next tuesday we all have a win.



Now time to find a few jokes.


What Do You Do All Day?


A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still
in their pyjamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and
wrappers strewn all around the front yard.
The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the
house and there was no sign of the dog.
Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess.

A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall.

In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing.

In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.

He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife.

He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened.

He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door.

As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soapand more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls. As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pyjamas, reading a novel.

She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went.

He looked at her bewildered and asked, '

What happened here today?'

She again smiled and answered, 'You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me sarcastically what in the world I do all day?'

'Yes,' was his incredulous reply. She answered,


'Well, today, I didn't do it.'???

~~~~~~~~

CAKE OR BED

A husband is at home watching a football match when hi wife interupts ,

Honey ! could you fix the light in the ? its been flickering for weeks now..

He looks at her and says angrily .

fix the light now?

Does it look like I have energex written on my forehead ? I don't think so.

Fine ,the the wife asks well then, could you fix the the fridge door? it wont close To which he replied .

Fix the fridge door?

does it look like I have westinghouse written on my forehead ? I dont think so Fine,

She then says you could at least fix the steps to the front door ?they are about to break Im not a carpenter and I dont wont to fix to fix the steps he says, Does it look like I have Bunnings written on mt forehead? I dont think so .

I've had enough of you, . I'm going to the pub!!!!

So off to the pub he goes and drinks for a couple of hours..

He starts to feel Guilty about how he treated his wife ,and decides to go home. As he walks into the house he notices that the steps have been fixed .

As he enters the house he sees the hall light is working, as he goes for a beer he notices the fridge door has been fixed. HONEY, He asks , " How did all this get fixed?

She said , Well, when you left I sat outside and cried just then a nice young man asked me what was wrong ,and I told him . He offered to do all the repairs ,and all I had to do was either go to bed with him or bake a cake. He said so what kind of cake did you bake? .. She replied . Helllllllooooooo!!!!!!!,

DO YOU SEE SARA LEE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?

I DON'T THINK SO!

~~~~~~~~

My Very FIRST TIME!!!

It was my first time ever
And I'll never forget.

I'd do it again
Without a single regret.

The sky was dark,

The moon was high,
We were all alone,

Just she and I.

Her hair was soft,
Her eyes were blue,

I knew just what
She wanted to do.

Her skin so soft,
Her legs so fine,

I ran my fingers
Down her spine.

I didn't know how,
But I tried my best.

I started by placing
My hands on her breast.
I remember my fear,.

My fast beating heart
But slowly she spread
Her legs apart.

And when I did it
I felt no shame...

All of a sudden,
the white stuff came!

At last it's finished,
It's all over now.

My first time ever
At milking a cow.

GOTCHA

Now, what were you thinking??!!

Time for a little laughter

Hello everyone. I hope you are all keeping well and the weathers being kind to you in your part of the world.

I wish to thank you all for your concern and good wishes on my recent eye operations,,

. Carol has now gone home and will return again 13th October for a bus trip on the 14th (thats another blog ) and my cataract on 15th.

My eyes are going well but still cant read small print, so will be very pleased to get my right cataract done , so I can at least get new glasses for the computer and reading I cant use my old glasses they are useless 'trifocal 'everything is very blurry.

Im starting to slowly make my way around to visiting you all a few at time , Take care till I return ..

~~~~~~~~~

Now on with a few jokes to keep you smiling..

Marriage in Heaven

On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple was involved in a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting they began to wonder; Could they possibly get married in Heaven?

When St. Peter arrived they asked him if they could get married in heaven. St. Peter said, "I don't know.

This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out," and he left.

The couple sat and waited for an answer... for a couple of months. While they waited, they discussed the pros and cons.

If they were allowed to get married in Heaven, should they get married, what with the eternal aspect of it all? "What if it doesn't work? Are we stuck in Heaven together forever?"

Another month passed. St. Peter finally returned, looking somewhat bedraggled. "Yes," he informed the couple, "You can get married in Heaven." "Great!" said the couple. "But we were just wondering; what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"

St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard on the ground.
"What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple.

"OH, COME ON!!!" St. Peter shouted. "It took me 3 months to find a priest up here! Do you have ANY idea how long it'll take to find a lawyer???"

~~~~~~~~~

The Chicken Farmer

A chicken farmer stopped in a local bar and sat next to a woman.

Then, he ordered a glass of champagne.

The woman perked up and said, "How about that?I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!""What a coincidence" the farmer said.

"This is a special day for me.

I am celebrating."

"This is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating," said the woman.

"What a coincidence!" said the farmer.

As they clinked glasses he added, "What are you celebrating?"

"My husband and I have been trying to have a child and today my gynecologist told me that at last I am pregnant!""What a coincidence!" said the man.

"I'm a chicken farmer and for years all of my hens were infertile, but today they are all laying fertilized eggs.

That's great!" said the woman, "How did your chickens become fertile?''

"I used a different cock," he replied.

The woman smiled, clinked his glass and said,

"What a coincidence!"..

~~~~~~~~

Psychiatrists vs. Bartender

Ever since I was a child, Ive always had a fear of someone under the bed at night.

SO I WENT TO A SHRINK AND TOLD HIM

'I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it.

I'm scared.

I think I'm going crazy.

''Just put yourself in my hands for one year,' said the shrink.

'Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid ofthose fears.

.''How much do you charge?'

'Eighty dollars per visit,' replied thedoctor.

'I'll sleep on it,' I said.

Six months later the doctor met me on the street.

'Why didn't you come to see me about those fears you were having?' he asked.

'Well, Eighty bucks a visit three times a week for a year is an awful lot of money!,

A bartender cured me for $10.

I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought me a new pickup!''Is that so!'

With a bit of an attitude he said, 'and how, may I ask,did a bartender cure you?

''He told me to cut the legs off the bed! -

Ain't nobody under there now!!!'

SCREW THOSE SHRINKS.. GO HAVE A DRINK & TALK TO YOUR BARTENDER!

Eye Surgery No.2

Hi everyone, NURSE CAROL here .. I would just like to fill you all in on mums progress. As you can see by the picture below, she wasnt a good girl so I had to blacken her eye to pull her back into line ..LMAO .. well truthfully, she has had another procedure, and has had a growth removed from under her right eye, besides sporting a few stitches, bruising and mild soreness she is doing well. She got a gold star for her left eyes progress, which I will take a little of the credit for. Mum is booked in for her right eye cataract surgery middle of October. She is unable to sit at the computer and read as she cant wear her glasses, and things are all still a little blurred. As her sight improves she will get around to visiting you all. Believe me when I say, its been a hard task keeping her off of her computer. Under her direction, here are a few jokes to keep you all going. Stay safe and well until I report in, or mum sneaks on !!!!

.

Now on with a few jokes.

~~~~~~~~
WHEN NOTHING GOES RIGHT

A short guy is sitting at a bar just staring at his drink for half an hour when this big trouble-making biker steps next to him, grabs his drink, gulps it down in one swig and then turns to the guy with a menacing stare as if to say, 'What'cha gonna do about it?

" The poor little guy starts crying..

"Come on man, I was just giving you a hard time," the biker says. "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can't stand to see a man crying."

"This is the worst day of my life," says the little guy between sobs.
"I can't do anything right.

I overslept and was late to an important meeting, so my boss fired me..

When I went to the parking lot, I found my car was stolen and I don't have any insurance.

I left my wallet in the cab I took home." He continues, crying even harder.

"Then I found my wife in bed with the gardener and my dog bit me So, I came to this bar trying to work up the courage to put an end to my life, and then you show up and drink the damn poison."

~~~~~~~

Oh To Be 12 Again..

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife, looking at herself in the mirror.

Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her Birthday.'I'd like to be twelve again', she replied, still looking in the mirror.

On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her to Alton Towers theme park.What a day!He put her on every ride in the park;

the Death Slide,

the Corkscrew

,the Wall of Fear,

the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster,

everything there was.

Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park.

Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down

.He then took her to a Mc Donald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.

Then it was off to the cinema with popcorn, a huge Cola, and her favourite sweets...........M&M's.

What a fabulous adventure!

Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.

He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked,

'Well Dear,what was it like being twelve again?

'Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.

'I meant my dress size, you retard!!!!

'The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is gonna get it wrong.

~~~~~~~

A police officer pulls over a speeding car.

The officer says, I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.

' The driver says, Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating.'

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: 'Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control.

As the officer writes out the Ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls,

'Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?'

The wife smiles demurely and says,

'You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did..' As the officer makes out the second Ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, 'Damit, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?'

The officer frowns and says, 'And I notic e that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir.

That's an automatic $75 fine.'

The driver says, 'Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket.

' The wife says, 'Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on.

You never wear your seat belt when you're driving.'

And as the police officer is writing out the third Ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, 'WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??

' The officer looks over at the woman and asks, 'Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?'

I love this part.....
'Only when he's been drinking.

You guessed it another Ticket

"Dont drink and drive".

Eye Surgery

Hello everyone, Well as you can see I have been out of action for the last few days, after having cataract surgery at Wangaratta hospital. Carol has been staying with me since my birthday, looking after me & making sure I dont do anything I'm not meant to be doing . I left hospital with my eye taped shut and and had to leave this shield on till I saw my specialist the next morning when it was removed, I could read most of the chart on the wall , and only had to wear the shield for 3 nights and have to use drops 4 times a day for 3 weeks. Next Tuesday I have to go back and have a small cyst like lesion removed from under my right eye and healed before the Dr will do my right cataract, then hopefully I will only need glasses for reading.

OHHHH dear .. Carol just drove in from going down the shops .. YES I'm in a bit of trouble, just got caught out ... not meant to be on the computer and its time for my drops.

Just a couple of jokes tonight, Ill be around to visit you all as soon as I'm able.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Farmer

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into awell. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway;
it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him.

They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing.

He would shake it off and take a step up. As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up.

Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt.

The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a stepping stone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping,never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

NOW ............ Enough of that crap . . The donkey later came back,
and bit the farmer who had tried to bury him.
The gash from the bite got infected and
the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock.

MORAL FROM TODAY'S LESSON:

When you do something wrong, try to cover your ass

,as it always comes back to bite you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men
along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to
stop and he got out to investigate.
He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"
"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied.
"We have to eat grass."
"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the
lawyer said.
"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over
there,under that tree."
"Bring them along," the lawyer replied.
Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us, too."
The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said, "But sir, I also ha ve
a wife and SIX children with me!"
"Bring them all, as well," the lawyer answered.
They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as
large as the limousine was.
Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said,
"Sir, you are too kind Thank you for taking all of us with you."
The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place.
The grass is almost a foot high."

~~~~~~~~

Wisdom of Older Women
After being marriedfor 42 years I took a carefull look at my wife one day and said."Honey, 42 years ago we had a cheap apartment A cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10 inch black and white television,, But i got to sleep every night with A hot 19year old girl.

NOW I HAVE A $500,000 HOME, A $45,000 CAR, NICE BIG BED AND PLASMA SCREEN TV, But im sleeping with a 61year old women.

"It seems to me that your not holding up your side of things."

MY WIFE IS A VERY REASONABLE WOMAN.

She told me to go out and find a hot 19year old girl. , And she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment,driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10 inch black and white television ONCE AGAIN BE LIVING IN A CHEAP APARTMENT, DRIVING A CHEAP CAR, SLEEPING ON A SOFA BED AND WATCHING A 10-INCH BLACK AND WHITE TV.
AREN'T OLDER WOMEN GREAT?

THEY REALLY KNOW HOW TO SOLVE YOUR MID-LIFE CRISIS.
~~~~~~~~~~~~

My 70th Birthday Bash

This was atop my cake, was Gold colour but didnt scan true to colour.
To start my 70th birthday journey Friday 21August and ending Sunday 23rd , firstly Donna picked me up then we headed to Shepparton were we met up with Carol and we hit the shops for some retail therapy and had lots of fun.HEHEHE girls didnt see camera in my bag till i was well dressed, (See photo's)before heading to Friars,where Carol's hubby Ian , Kayne, his g/f Emma and a friend of theirs joined as for a lovely long lunch before heading home.for a couple hours rest before Gary, Chris and family arrived followed by Joanne, Colin and family for the weekend.


Thank you to my beautiful family for making this weekend so special with lots of love fun and happiness shown and had by all..

Donna and carol trying on some outfits

Donna trying on a pair of Harem pants.

Love the socks girls match the outfits well. LOL

Carol in a brown tiered dress

Lunch at Friars an old converted church,It was to dark to take photo's inside
Jen, Grandson Kayne, his GF Emma and Isla a Norway exchange student

Birthday Cake, yum yum.

With all of my beautiful grown up children .

L-R: Joanne,Donna. Myself, Carol & Gary.

My beautiful grandchildren

My niece Leanne and Donna
My happy family enjoying the evening. What a beautiful action photo

Eldest Grandson Michael with Mum, Carol
The youngest grandchild. Liam Enjoying a piece of birthday cake

Dear friends

Michael and Nan
Tucking into the lovely grub

Gary leading the happy birthday chorus
My sister Pauline had something to say

Taking the first piece of cake
and to end this blog with the Yummy first taste.

A good weekend was had by all

Back in the flow

Gday everyone,I hope alls well were ever you maybe. I have had a busy few days. thursday Played Social Indoor carpet bowls then in the evening We the club had a social evening had dinner , Friday my sister and I went to exercise class, played again Sunday in our Gala day event were teams come from all over as far away as Moama and Echuca, Albury and Wodonga,Benalla, Howlong, Tocumwal, Corowa. as well as our local teams.

Tuesday Went too Drs he was happy gave me good report put me on 6monthly visit .

Today Wednesday just got home from a schnitzel night put on by my club. I had a Aussie Chicken schnitzel topped with chopped Tomato's, bacon. cheese. and egg on top served with fresh salad, coleslaw and chips ohh was so yummy.

Tomorrow off to get my hair cut , and family comming for the weekend. well thats enoigh for now im off for an early night .

Now on with a few more Photo's Please enlarge any or all for a better look.

I took this cutting out of our daily newspaper

.Please enlarge to be able to read
Fishermen trying to catch a Murray cod they had a few small fish in the net the Lake not far from full see the water marks
Not a Ripple on the water on this very still day
The Lake is full again
Walking towards the Yarrawonga weir
A closer View with only one gate operating today
Looking in other direction down the Murray River

and Again

A walk amongst the Gum trees

A closer look at a couple of the trees

Looking back through the trees towards the Weir
Another lovely old Tree at edge of car park.

TO end with a lovely winter sunset.

Chucky

Gday Everyone. Not much happening here, Brett, Donna ,Rylie and Maddison picked me up Sunday after inviting me to go to the Cinema with them Too see "MY SISTERS KEEPER" . The ticket attendant had a box of tissues and he offered the box to take a couple as you entered the theatre. A Real Tear Jerker . all Im saying is its a good movie incase some of you out there go to see it or hire it..Im back bowling Indoor carpet bowls, Lawn bowls starts again end of August, oh I hope the weather starts to warm up by then so wont be to cold outside bowling,. All I have done in the garden is prune the roses, will be out in the garden as soon as as the sun gets some warmth in it . the garden needs a little TLC with my plants needing a trim soon as they show a few new shoots and spring into life.
Well everyone on with a little laughter and we can all do with that in our lives.

Don't Poke Him In Church!

A couple was sitting in church.

The man was sleeping and his wife was knitting.

The priest asked: "Who created the Earth and man?"

The woman poked the man with her knitting needle, and the man screamed, "GOD

"The Priest looked at him and said, "That's right.

" Then he asked "Who is God's son?

"Once more the woman poked her husband with the needle, he woke up and screamed, "Jesus Christ!"

Again, the priest said, "Correct."

Finally, the priest asked, "What did Eve say to Adam when she didn't want any more children?The knitter poked her husband again,but this time he got up and screamed:

"Poke me with that thing one more time and I'm going to rip it off!"

~~~~~~~~

POOF and the light goes off!
An 60-year-old man goes for a physical.

All of his tests come back with normal results.

The doctor says,'Bert, everything looks great.

How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?'Bert replies, 'God and I are tight.

He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it for when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom,*poof*!, the light goes on.

When I'm done, *poof*!!, the light goes off.'

'Wow, that's incredible,' the doctor says.

A little later in the day, the doctor calls Bert's wife.'Joan,' he says, "'Bert is doing fine but I had to call you because I'm in awe of his relationship with God.

Is it true that he gets upduring the night and *poof *!!, the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he's done, *poof*!! the light goes off?'"

'OH MY GAWD!' Joan exclaims. 'He's peeing in the fridge again!!!!'.

~~~~~~~~~~

AN old farmer went to town to see a movie .

the ticket agent asked . "Sir whats on your shoulder ?"

The old farmer said, Thats my pet Rooster Chucky . Wherever I go chucky goes :Im sorry sir " said the ticket agent .

"We cant allow animals in the theatre. .

" The old farmer went around the corner and stuffed the bird down his overalls ,.

He returned to the booth , bought a ticket and entered the theatre He sat down next to two old widows named Mildred and Marge.

The movie started and the rooster began to squirm , the old farmer unbuttoned his fly so chucky could stick his head out and watch the movie.

Marge whispered Mildred what?"said Marge" I think that guy next to me is a pervert .

Marge, what makes you think that ?." ask marge He undid his pants and he has his thing out, whispered Mildred .

Well don't worry about it said Marge

Hell at our age we've seen em all .

I thought so too "said Mildred"

" but this ones eating my Popcorn "!!!!!!!!!

~~~~~~

Three women friends, one in a casual relationship, one engaged to be married and one a long-time wife, met for drinks after work.
The conversation eventually drifted towards how best to spice up their sex lives.
After much discussion, they decided to surprise their men by engaging in some S&M role playing.
The following week they met up again to compare notes.
Sipping her drink, the single girl leered and said, 'Last Friday at the end of the work day I went to my boyfriend's office wearing a leather coat.
When all the other people had left,
I slipped out of it and all I had on was a leather bodice, black stockings and stiletto heels.
He was so aroused that we made mad passionate love on his desk right then and there!'
The engaged woman giggled and said, that's pretty much my story!
When my fiancé got home last Friday, he found me waiting for him in a black mask, leather bodice, black hose and stiletto heeled shoes.
He was so turned on that we not only $crewed all night, he wants to move up our wedding date!
The married woman put her glass down and said, 'I did a lot of planning.
I made arrangements for the kids to stay at their Grandma's.
I took a long scented-oil bath and then put on my best perfume.
I slipped into a tight leather bodice, a black garter belt, black stockings and six-inch stilettos.
I finished it off with a black mask.
When my husband got home from work, he grabbed a beer and the remote, sat down and yelled, 'Hey, Batman, what's for dinner?''

~~~~~~~~~~

The Vicar's Salary.

At Sunday church the local Vicar explains that he must move on to a larger congregation that will pay him more.

There is a hush within the congregation.

No one wants him to leave because he is so popular.

Fred Smith, who owns several car dealerships in Manchester and Swindon stands up and proclaims: 'If the Vicar stays, I will provide him with a new Toyota every year and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!'

The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds.

Sam Brown, a successful entrepreneur and publican, stands and says the Vicar will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary and establish a foundation to guarantee private school education of his children!'

More sighs and loud applause.

Agnes Jones, age 88, stands and announces with a big smile, 'If the Vicar stays, I will give him sex.'

There is total silence.

The Preacher, blushing, asks her: 'Mrs. Jones, you're a wonderful and holy lady, whatever possessed you to say that?'

Agnes's 90-year old husband, Joe, is now trying to hide, holding his head in his hands and shaking his head from side to side, while his wife replies: 'Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said, **** him'.

~~~~~~~~~~~

To End with a riddle

Riddle of the Day

Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one.

Michael J. Fox has a small one.

Madonna doesn't have one.

The Pope has one but doesn't use it.

Clinton uses his all the time.

Bush is one.

Mickey Mouse has an unusual one.

Liberace never used his on women.

Jerry Seinfeld is very, very proud of his.

.Cher claims that she took on 3

.We never saw Lucy use Desi's.

What is it?

V

V

V
V

Answer!

(this is pretty good )

The answer is:

HAHAHAHA

"A Last Name."

Time for a little laughter

Gday everyone. Hope your all well where ever you maybe.Im feeling very relieved now my results are in from last tests. specialst doesn't need to see me for 12 months, Yippeee. but will see my Doctor in a couple weeks for my 3 monthly routine check up.
Ill be out and about getting a few more photo's of the lake in the nxt few days as its filling quickly ,a few more feet to go.

So tonight putting a little laughter into our lives with a few jokes . Enjoy .

THE SPOILED UNDER-30 CROWD!!!

If you are 30 or older you will think this is hilarious!!!!

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with walking Twenty-five miles to school every morning uphill... barefoot. BOTH ways.

Yadda, yadda, yadda

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up,There was no way in hell I was going to lay A bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it And how easy they've got it!

But now that... I'm over the ripe old age of Thirty,

I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today.

You've got it so easy!

I mean, compared to my Childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it but you kids today you Don't know how good you've got it!I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet If we wanted to know something,

We had to go to the damn library and Look it up ourselves, in the card catalogue!!

There was no email!! We had to actually write Somebody a letter, with a pen! .....Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!

There were no MP3's or Napsters!

You wanted to Steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ'd usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up!

We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you Were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it !

and we didn't have fancy Caller ID either!

When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school,Your mom, your boss, your Bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you Just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation videoGames with high-resolution 3-D graphics!

We had the Atari 2600!With gamesLike 'Space Invaders' and 'asteroids'. Your guy was a little square! You Actually had to use your Imagination!! And there were no multiple levels or Screens, it was just one screen Forever!And you could never win.

The game just kept getting Harder and harder and Faster and faster until you died!

Just like LIFE

! You had to use a Little book called a TV Guide to find out what was On!

You were screwed when it Came to channel surfing! You had to get off Your ass and walk over to the TV to change the Channel and there was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons On Saturday Morning.

Do you Hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait

ALL WEEK

For cartoons, you spoiled Little rat-bastards!

And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat Something up we had to use the stove ... Imagine that! That's exactly what I'm talking about!

You kids Today have got it too easy.

You're spoiled. You guys wouldn't have lasted Five minutes back in 1980!

Regards,The over 30 Crowd

*~*~*~*

The Postman

One Monday morning the Postman is motorcycling through the neighbourhood on his usual route, delivering the mail.

As he approached one of the homes he noticed that both cars were still in the driveway.
His wonder was cut short by Derek, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer and wine bottles for the recycling bin.
''Morning, Derek, looks like you guys had a great party last night!" the Postman comments. Derek, in obvious pain, replies 'Actually we had it Saturday night.
This is the first time I've felt like moving since 4:00 am Sunday morning.
We had about fifteen couples, from around the neighbourhood, over for some weekend fun and it got a bit wild.
We all got so drunk around midnight that we started playing
'WHO AM I.'
The Postman thinks a moment and says, "How do you play 'WHO AM I?" "Well, All the guys go into the bedroom and we come out one at a time with a sheet covering us, with only our 'family jewels' showing through a hole in the sheet.
Then the women try to guess who it is."

The Postman laughs and says, "Sounds like fun.

I'm sorry I missed that."

'Probably a good thing you did,' Derek responded.

'Your name came up seven times....'

~~~~~~~

THE BOTTLE OF WINE

For all of us who are married, were married, wish you were married, or wish
you weren't married, this is something to smile about the next time you see
a bottle of wine:
Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona
when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road.
As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the
Navajo woman if she would like a ride.
With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car.
Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with
the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at
everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown
bag on the seat next to Sally.
'What in bag?' asked the old woman.
Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, 'It's a bottle of wine.
I got it for my husband.'
The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two.
Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said:
'Good trade

*~*~*~*~*~*

A senior citizen

A Southampton senior citizen drove his brand new BMW Z4 convertible out of the car saleroom. Taking off down the motorway, he floored it to 90mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.

"Amazing!" he thought as he flew down the M27, enjoying pushing the pedal to the metal even more.Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a police car behind him, bluelights flashing and siren blaring.

"I can get away from him - no problem!" thought the elderly gent as he floored it to 110 mph, then 120, then 130 mph. Suddenly, he thought,

"What on earth am I doing? I'm too old for this nonsense!"

So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch up with him.
Pulling in behind him, the police officer walked up to the driver's side of the BMW, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 10 minutes.

Today is Friday and I'm taking off for the weekend.

If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go.

"The man looked very seriously at the policeman and replied, "Years ago, My wife ran off with a policeman.

I thought you were bringing her back."
"Have a good day, Sir," said the policeman.

*~*~*~*~*