Saturday, September 26, 2009

Time for a little laughter

Hello everyone. I hope you are all keeping well and the weathers being kind to you in your part of the world.

I wish to thank you all for your concern and good wishes on my recent eye operations,,
. Carol has now gone home and will return again 13th October for a bus trip on the 14th (thats another blog ) and my cataract on 15th.

My eyes are going well but still cant read small print, so will be very pleased to get my right cataract done , so I can at least get new glasses for the computer and reading I cant use my old glasses they are useless 'trifocal 'everything is very blurry.

Im starting to slowly make my way around to visiting you all a few at time , Take care till I return ..
~~~~~~~~~

Now on with a few jokes to keep you smiling..

Marriage in Heaven

On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple was involved in a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting they began to wonder; Could they possibly get married in Heaven?

When St. Peter arrived they asked him if they could get married in heaven. St. Peter said, "I don't know.

This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out," and he left.

The couple sat and waited for an answer... for a couple of months. While they waited, they discussed the pros and cons.

If they were allowed to get married in Heaven, should they get married, what with the eternal aspect of it all? "What if it doesn't work? Are we stuck in Heaven together forever?"

Another month passed. St. Peter finally returned, looking somewhat bedraggled. "Yes," he informed the couple, "You can get married in Heaven." "Great!" said the couple. "But we were just wondering; what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"

St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard on the ground.
"What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple.

"OH, COME ON!!!" St. Peter shouted. "It took me 3 months to find a priest up here! Do you have ANY idea how long it'll take to find a lawyer???"

~~~~~~~~~

The Chicken Farmer

A chicken farmer stopped in a local bar and sat next to a woman.
Then, he ordered a glass of champagne.

The woman perked up and said, "How about that?I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!""What a coincidence" the farmer said.

"This is a special day for me.

I am celebrating."

"This is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating," said the woman.

"What a coincidence!" said the farmer.
As they clinked glasses he added, "What are you celebrating?"

"My husband and I have been trying to have a child and today my gynecologist told me that at last I am pregnant!""What a coincidence!" said the man.

"I'm a chicken farmer and for years all of my hens were infertile, but today they are all laying fertilized eggs.

That's great!" said the woman, "How did your chickens become fertile?''

"I used a different cock," he replied.

The woman smiled, clinked his glass and said,
"What a coincidence!"..

~~~~~~~~

Psychiatrists vs. Bartender

Ever since I was a child, Ive always had a fear of someone under the bed at night.
SO I WENT TO A SHRINK AND TOLD HIM
'I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it.
I'm scared.
I think I'm going crazy.
''Just put yourself in my hands for one year,' said the shrink.
'Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid ofthose fears.
.''How much do you charge?'
'Eighty dollars per visit,' replied thedoctor.
'I'll sleep on it,' I said.
Six months later the doctor met me on the street.
'Why didn't you come to see me about those fears you were having?' he asked.
'Well, Eighty bucks a visit three times a week for a year is an awful lot of money!,
A bartender cured me for $10.
I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought me a new pickup!''Is that so!'
With a bit of an attitude he said, 'and how, may I ask,did a bartender cure you?
''He told me to cut the legs off the bed! -
Ain't nobody under there now!!!'
SCREW THOSE SHRINKS.. GO HAVE A DRINK & TALK TO YOUR BARTENDER!


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16 Comments:

Blogger Merle said...

G'day Dear Jan ~~ Great jokes and well done with the post. I liked
the coincidence one best tonight.
No too long now until the right eye gets done. Did you get a good pathology report from the lesion?
Look after yourself and take great
care. Much love, Merle.

September 27, 2009 12:06 am  
Blogger Hootin' Anni said...

So happy I am....to see that you made a post.

Keeping you in my thoughts and YOU keeping us posted on your progress.

September 27, 2009 12:25 am  
Blogger Mike Golch said...

G'Day Jen,Great posting.I always enjoy listing to G'Day. I even Posted the video to this song one my blog a while back.

September 27, 2009 1:55 am  
Blogger Pamela said...

I'm following your eye surgery with care... as that is somewhere down the road for me, too.

I think you're on to something with that bartender joke.

September 27, 2009 4:36 am  
Blogger Puss-in-Boots said...

Hi Jen, glad to see you're back blogging again. You won't know yourself once you have the right eye done and you get new glasses...the world will seem a lot clearer.

Good luck with it all...

September 27, 2009 7:09 am  
Blogger Peter said...

Good to see you back in print Jan, trust the vision is soon splendid.

September 27, 2009 10:43 am  
Blogger Cathy said...

Hello Jen
About October 20th you'll really be like a new woman - a friend told me she was able to see all those things she'd missed out on. You know how some kids have selective hearing ( only hear what they want to hear) well, she asked the specialist how she went about getting selective sight so she didn't see the things she didn't want to - like dust, dirty fingerprints even the extra lines she'd got on her face lol
Take care
Cathy

September 27, 2009 8:16 pm  
Blogger Merle said...

Hi again Jan ~~ It sure has gone back to winter again. A few VERY cold days. I was going to take photos in the garden, but yesterday
we had heavy rain and Hail, so there
is a mauve carpet under the wisteria.
Oh well, it will come again.
Take great care dear friend.
Love, Merle.

September 27, 2009 8:31 pm  
Blogger Marjorie said...

I hope your second surgery goes well and that your eyesight will be better than ever. I will be thinking about you on the 15th.

September 27, 2009 9:34 pm  
Blogger Gattina said...

Happy to read that the worst is over with your eye, now the other one and you will see again like an eagle ! Meanwhile you have to "zoom in" to get letters bigger on your screen !
I had a lovely time in the Belgian mountains, I guess the highest one is 800m, lol ! but it is a beautiful region there. I stayed for two days and we also had wonderful weather !

September 27, 2009 11:36 pm  
Blogger Pamela said...

Jen- I wanted to thank you for your comments on my blog, but I couldn't find your Email address.

....wanted to say, No, not a marriage made in heaven.
But, I do have a wonderful husband who does his very best to make our lives smooth and loving, even when I don't deserve it. And that makes him perfect for me.

September 28, 2009 3:00 am  
Blogger Janice said...

Hi Jeanette,

I'm glad your back, and your eye is a bit better.

I'm sure your going to see a lot clearer after the next surgery.

Take care.
Janice~

September 29, 2009 5:44 pm  
Blogger Ruthie said...

Once you have both eyes done and they are healed, you will be able to see so well - and it'll be great! So hang in there.
Smiles.

September 30, 2009 9:11 am  
Blogger Margaret Cloud said...

Very good post and very funny, my favorite one is the chicken farmer. Glad to hear your eyes are doing well.

September 30, 2009 10:01 am  
Blogger Lady Di Tn said...

I popped over and found something to really smile about. You are back to a wittle bit of bloggin. Good for you. The last joke was priceless. Peace

October 03, 2009 12:23 am  
Blogger Cathy said...

Hello Jeanette
Hows things up there on the river? Any warmer than down here in town? Hope so as its still rather cold down here
Are things are ok with you - eyes behaving themselves and not giving you any problems?
Take care
Cathy

October 14, 2009 3:32 pm  

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