Eye Surgery

Hello everyone, Well as you can see I have been out of action for the last few days, after having cataract surgery at Wangaratta hospital. Carol has been staying with me since my birthday, looking after me & making sure I dont do anything I'm not meant to be doing . I left hospital with my eye taped shut and and had to leave this shield on till I saw my specialist the next morning when it was removed, I could read most of the chart on the wall , and only had to wear the shield for 3 nights and have to use drops 4 times a day for 3 weeks. Next Tuesday I have to go back and have a small cyst like lesion removed from under my right eye and healed before the Dr will do my right cataract, then hopefully I will only need glasses for reading.

OHHHH dear .. Carol just drove in from going down the shops .. YES I'm in a bit of trouble, just got caught out ... not meant to be on the computer and its time for my drops.

Just a couple of jokes tonight, Ill be around to visit you all as soon as I'm able.

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The Farmer

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into awell. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway;
it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him.

They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing.

He would shake it off and take a step up. As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up.

Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt.

The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a stepping stone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping,never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

NOW ............ Enough of that crap . . The donkey later came back,
and bit the farmer who had tried to bury him.
The gash from the bite got infected and
the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock.

MORAL FROM TODAY'S LESSON:

When you do something wrong, try to cover your ass

,as it always comes back to bite you.

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One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men
along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to
stop and he got out to investigate.
He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"
"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied.
"We have to eat grass."
"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the
lawyer said.
"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over
there,under that tree."
"Bring them along," the lawyer replied.
Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us, too."
The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said, "But sir, I also ha ve
a wife and SIX children with me!"
"Bring them all, as well," the lawyer answered.
They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as
large as the limousine was.
Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said,
"Sir, you are too kind Thank you for taking all of us with you."
The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place.
The grass is almost a foot high."

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Wisdom of Older Women
After being marriedfor 42 years I took a carefull look at my wife one day and said."Honey, 42 years ago we had a cheap apartment A cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10 inch black and white television,, But i got to sleep every night with A hot 19year old girl.

NOW I HAVE A $500,000 HOME, A $45,000 CAR, NICE BIG BED AND PLASMA SCREEN TV, But im sleeping with a 61year old women.

"It seems to me that your not holding up your side of things."

MY WIFE IS A VERY REASONABLE WOMAN.

She told me to go out and find a hot 19year old girl. , And she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment,driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10 inch black and white television ONCE AGAIN BE LIVING IN A CHEAP APARTMENT, DRIVING A CHEAP CAR, SLEEPING ON A SOFA BED AND WATCHING A 10-INCH BLACK AND WHITE TV.
AREN'T OLDER WOMEN GREAT?

THEY REALLY KNOW HOW TO SOLVE YOUR MID-LIFE CRISIS.
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