Friday, February 02, 2007

A LITTLE HUMOUR

Keep this in mind when you have something to return and the store gives you a hard time -
A woman went to a K-Mart service counter and told the clerk she wanted a refund for the toaster she bought because it won't work. The clerk told her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special.
Suddenly, the woman threw her arms up in the air and started screaming,


"PINCH MY NIPPLES,PINCH MY NIPPLES,PINCH MY NIPPLES!!!!!!"
The befuddled clerk ran away to get the store manager in front of a growing crowd of customers. The manager comes to the woman and asks,"Ma'am what's wrong?" She explained the problem with the toaster, and he also told her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special.
Once again, the woman throws her arms up in the air and screamed,

,"PINCH MY NIPPLES,PINCH MY NIPPLES,PINCH MY NIPPLES!!!"
And doing so draws an even bigger crowd! In shock, the store manager pleads, "Ma'am, why are you saying that?" In a huff, the woman says,


BECAUSE, I LIKE TO HAVE MY NIPPLES PINCHED WHEN I'M BEING SCREWED!!" The crowd broke into applause and her money was quickly refunded!!

" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




Little Roy
Little Roy came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner.
His birthday was coming up, and he thought this was a good time to tell his Mother what he wanted.
"Mom, I want a bike for my birthday." Little Roy was a bit of a troublemaker He had gotten into trouble at school and at home.
Roy's mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday. "Of course", he said.
Roy's mother, being a Christian woman, wanted him to reflect on his behavior over the last year. "Go to your room , Roy, and think about how you have behaved this year.
Then write a letter to God and tell him why you deserve a bike for your birthday."
Little Roy stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write God a letter.
Letter 1
Dear God, I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my birthday. I want a red one. Your friend, Roy.
Roy knew that it was not true. He had not been a good boy this year, so he tore it up and started over.
Letter 2
Dear God, I have been an OK boy this year. I still would like a bike for my birthday. Roy. knew he could not send this letter to God either. So, Roy wrote a third letter.
Letter 3
Dear God, I know I haven't been a good boy this year. I am very sorry. I will be a good boy if you just send me a bike for my birthday. Please! Thank you, Roy.
Roy knew that it was not true. By now he was very upset. He went downstairs and told his mother that he needed to go to church.
She thought her plan had worked. " Just be home for dinner," she told him. Roy walked down the street to the church on the corner.
He went to the altar.
Roy looked around to see if anyone was looking as he bent down and picked up a statue of the Virgin Mary. He slipped it up under his shirt and ran out the church going back home.
He ran to his room and shut the door. Roy began to write his letter to God.
Letter 4
Dear God, I got your mama. If you want to see her again, send the bike. Signed, You know who.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A couple of Quotes
Do not lose your inward peace for anything
what so ever even if your whole world seems upset.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Whenever you see a successful business.
someone once made a courageous decision
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Labels:

20 Comments:

Blogger RUTH said...

That first joke has got to be one of the best....may have to try that next time I get bad service. Have a great weekend
Rx

February 04, 2007 7:39 am  
Blogger Peter said...

Good jokes Jan.

February 04, 2007 9:34 am  
Blogger PEA said...

LOL oh Jan, that first one is too funny! You realize of course that the next time I'm at WalMart returning something I'll think of that and either blush furiously or start giggling uncontrolably! lol Hugs xox

February 04, 2007 10:37 am  
Blogger Gazza said...

ha ha ha ... pinch my nipples, now thats funny...

LMAO

February 04, 2007 11:50 am  
Anonymous Rhea said...

That K-Mart joke -- I could never tell that to anyone but it was kinda funny.

February 04, 2007 12:02 pm  
Blogger Merle said...

Hi Jan ~~ Good jokes and quotes. I liked Roy, but wonder if he got his bike. I am so glad that the Mother story does not apply to either you or me. We are lucky to now we are loved.

Now all we need to do is survive this summer weather. Thanks for the temp.
converter. I used to have to get up ad look at my guide that has both on it. Take care, keep cool, if possible
Love, Merle.

February 04, 2007 2:07 pm  
Blogger Susie said...

Hi Jen,
Like Pea, I'll be thinking of your joke the next time I do a return and probably blushing like crazy!
:)

February 04, 2007 3:07 pm  
Blogger Gwen said...

Hi Mate great jokes .
See you soon .xxx

February 04, 2007 6:50 pm  
Blogger Gina E. said...

LOL LOL LOL!!! You're such a hoot, Jeanette - you leave Topsy's Townhouse for dead! If I can figure out how to do it on that blog, I will add your blog on the sidebar - would you mind??

February 04, 2007 11:59 pm  
Blogger junierose said...

LOL!! That first joke is just sooo funny! Yep- I'll remember that one with any returns I might have!

Junie

February 05, 2007 1:05 am  
Blogger judypatooote said...

What a great way to start the day... I believe that a giggle a day keeps the doctor away..... Thanks for making my day.....judy

February 05, 2007 1:42 am  
Blogger Raggedy said...

Great jokes and quotes.
I needed that good laugh!
Thank you!
I have a question.
If it is not to much trouble could you let me know how you got the real player song thing to play on your blog? I am technologically impaired. I want to play a song from my computer because it is not available on the code ones like I used to use.
I remember Peter telling people not to be scared when they clicked on my blog because I had music playing...lol
Now he is using the one I used to use.
Thanks.
Have a wonderful day!
*^_^
(=':'=) hugs
(")_ (")Š from
the Cool Raggedy one

February 05, 2007 1:50 am  
Blogger rusty in miami said...

I can’t stop laughing. That K Mart one was great

February 05, 2007 11:10 am  
Blogger Margaret said...

Hi Jan the first joke is a screamer. No pun intended. I am back as you can see, than you very much for your support I truly appreciate it.
Hugs Margaret

February 05, 2007 5:31 pm  
Blogger DellaB said...

thanks for the humour Jeanette, I've had a lovely visit. aah, love your pool area.
Do you know what the baby bird is? He's beautiful!
:-)
Della

February 05, 2007 7:01 pm  
Blogger Hootin'Anni said...

That pinch my nipples is so damned funny!!! I love that one-----------and MUST remember it. I'd love to use this one myself. Now I find myself as I type just waiting to be screwed by a store clerk!!!

Thanks for the laughter Jen. I need it.

(And I see more humor below, so gotta stay a while longer to enjoy your company today)

Oh, and I want to read your tribute to your hubby too.

Happy Monday.
Thanks for the visit and the lovely words you left for me.

February 06, 2007 12:28 am  
Blogger Gary said...

Somehow I think that if I tried that, I wouldn't get my refund.

February 06, 2007 1:46 am  
Blogger Sorlil said...

ha ha loved that first one and the pic!

February 06, 2007 3:35 am  
Blogger Meow said...

Hahahaha, brilliant jokes ... thank you so much for sharing them. It'll never seem quite the same again, when I have to exchange something at Kmart !!
Take care, Meow

February 06, 2007 12:39 pm  
Blogger Pamela said...

I like the strategy of the pinching nipples.

Not that I plan on using it.. but I'n keeping it as Plan B .. uh Plan C

February 06, 2007 6:48 pm  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home