Sunday, February 18, 2007

AUSSIE TRACKER


An Australian tour guide was showing a group of American tourists the Top End.On there way to Kakado he was describing the abilities of the Australian Aborigine to track man or beast over land through the air,under the sea.


The Americans were incredulous



Then later that day,the tour rounded a bend on the highway and discovered, lying in the middle of the road an Aborigine.
He had one ear pressed to the white line whilst his left leg was held high in the air
The tour stopped and the guide and the tourists gathered around the prostrate Aborigine.


"Jacky"said the tour guide,"what are you tracking and what are you listening for?"
The Aborigine replied,"Down the road about 25 miles is a1971 Valiant Ute.
Its red, The left tyre is bald,The front end is out of whack and it has dents in every panel.
There are 9Blackfellas in the back,all drinking warm sherry.
There are 3Kangaroos on the roof rack and 6 dogs on the front seat."

The American tourists moved forward, astounded by this pricise and detailed knowledge.
"Dammit man how do you know all that?"asked one!
The Aborigine replied,
"I FELL OUT OF THE FRIGGIN THING ABOUT HALF HOUR AGO!"


~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Little Johnny had been bringing his drawings home from kindergarten every day since he started a month agoEach day his mother admired the pictures and hung them on the refrigerator.
One thing started bothering her. Little Johnny only used black and browns for his drawings. Fearing a problem and not wanting it to get worse, she decided to take him to a child psychologist.The psychologist delicately went to work. He gave Little Johnny a battery of psychological tests. He chatted with Little Johnny. Everything seemed perfectly normal. Every day for two weeks, the tests continued. Yet everyday, Little Johnny continued to bring home drawings in only blacks and browns.Frustrated at not being able to get to the root of the problem and fearful that something was terribly wrong, the child psychologist decided to give Little Johnny some paper and a box of crayons and observe what happened.Little Johnny opened the box of crayons and said, "Oh, Boy! A new box of crayons! At school we only have old boxes. The only ones left in mine are black and brown!"

Labels:

17 Comments:

Blogger Gattina said...

Ha, ha, loved the first one and your graphics are for stealing !! Especially the kangaroo !

February 19, 2007 3:40 am  
Blogger Hootin'Anni said...

What a hoot!!!
That aborigine was a kicker! That one was really funny. And loved the "Aussie" above the group of American dummies....he's precious. LOL

Thanks for the laughs this fine day.

Hope you had a Happy Sunday.

February 19, 2007 4:58 am  
Blogger PEA said...

LOL oh Jan, where do you get these from?! hehe The aborigine one is too funny and I also love the Little Johnny one...you never know what little Johnny is up to! lol Loved them!! Hugs xox

February 19, 2007 8:28 am  
Blogger Raggedy said...

Hahaha!
Thanks for the giggles.

Have a wonderful day!
*^_^
(=':'=) hugs
(")_ (")Š from
the Cool Raggedy one

February 19, 2007 10:11 am  
Blogger LittleJen said...

good one mum, see you in 2 weeks.

February 19, 2007 1:27 pm  
Blogger Merle said...

Hi Jan ~~ Loved the aborigine joke,
and also Little Johnny. I guessed why he was only using black and brown.
Thanks for your visits, It sure is hot again and staying indoors the best option. Glad you enjoyed the jokes etc. Stay as cool as possible
and stay safe and well, Love, Merle.

February 19, 2007 3:54 pm  
Blogger Pamela said...

about little Johnny... just proves we spend a heck of a lot of money on counselors, pschychiatrists etc... when just a new box of crayolas will do.

February 19, 2007 6:40 pm  
Blogger DellaB said...

good jokes all the way thanks Jeanette...
:-)
Della

February 19, 2007 9:13 pm  
Blogger Lee-ann said...

Jeanette,
I always know were to come for a laugh the little Johnny joke is "never a truer word spoken lol lol

see you about and round.
Lee-ann

February 20, 2007 8:52 am  
Blogger talj said...

Hi, I wanted to drop by and say thank you so much for supporting myself and Andrew via your post on Ruths blog. We are extremely grateful appreciate you taking the time to help in the fundraising!

{{{HUGS}} and love,

Natalya (talj) xx

February 20, 2007 9:40 am  
Blogger Donnak said...

LOLOL

February 20, 2007 2:30 pm  
Blogger Heart of Rachel said...

The first one was really funny. I like the second story. Sometimes we tend to overlook simple reasons and make things seem more complicated when in reality things are really as simple as the way they are presented.

Thanks for visiting and leaving nice comments on my blog. Have a great week ahead.

February 21, 2007 1:40 am  
Blogger Meow said...

Great jokes, again, Jeanette.
Hope the heat isn't too over-powering in Yarrawonga. It is stifling down here in Melbourne !!
Have a great week. Take care, Meow

February 21, 2007 10:20 am  
Blogger Merle said...

Hi Jan ~~ Thanks for your comments.
Lots of thunder about so I guess you know what I'm wishing for !!
We have had a hot week and the humidity is what I don't like.
Thanks for your kind words, I hope never to have to push that buzzer
in need, but glad I found it.Looked on top of bedspread and on the sheets, and it was in between !!.
Take care dear Jan, hope you manage to stay cool and I wish Hughie would send some down!!Love, Merle.
PS SSssh, it't gently raining 11pm

February 21, 2007 11:04 pm  
Anonymous colleen said...

In Floyd once I was sitting on a porch and saw a bread truck crash into the house across the street. The breadman came running down the street saying he had fallen out of the truck. Here's the link to the photo. http://www.looseleafnotes.com/notes/2005/05/house_devours_bread_truck.html I love the pink bus!

February 22, 2007 12:48 am  
Blogger Jim said...

That Roo and Blackfellow joke is wonderful.
Thanks for you nice visit, I'm way behind on my blogging.
I haven't even changed to the new Blogger yet. I'm a little afraid to do that.
..

February 22, 2007 1:05 am  
Blogger Margaret said...

Hi Jan, What a great post and very funny jokes.Thanks for visit.
Cheers and hugs Margaret

February 24, 2007 10:13 am  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home