PET HUMOUR

A woman went to a pet shop & immediately spotted a large, beautiful COCKATOO.
There was a sign on the cage that said $20.00.
"Why so little," she asked the pet store owner.
The owner looked at her and said,
"Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of Prostitution and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff."

The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird any way.
She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something.
The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said,
"New house, new madam."

The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought "that's really not so bad."
When her 2 teenage daughters returned from school the bird saw and said,
"New house, new madam, new girls."
The girls and the woman began to laugh about the situation considering how and where the COCKATOO had been raised.
Moments later, the woman's husband Peter came home from work.
The bird looked at him and said,

"Hi, Peter !"

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DANGER BEWARE OF DOG!
Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed a sign saying

"DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG!" posted on the glass door. Inside he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor besides the cash register.
He asked the store manager, "Is THAT the dog folks are supposed to beware of?"
"Yep, that's him," he replied.
The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?"
"Because," the owner replied, "before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him."

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"Four ducks"
There were four ducks that got arrested while messing around at the pond. The judge orders the ducks to come in one at a time to speak their piece.

The first duck comes in."What's your name,son?", the judge asks."Duck", replied the duck.

"What are you in for?" the judge asks."Well, I was sitting at the pond blowing bubbles, and the cop came by and arrested me.

"The judge said "O.K., send in the next duck.

"The next duck came in. His name was "Duck,Duck", and he told the exact same story as the first duck.

After his examination, the judge asked for the third duck to be sent in.

The third duck's name was "Duck,Duck,Duck", and he told the same story as the first two.

Finally, the judge sent for the fourth duck.As he came in, the judge said,"Let me guess...Your name is Duck,Duck,Duck,Duck...right?"

The duck replied, "No sir, my name is Bubbles."

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