Wednesday, February 07, 2007

PET HUMOUR



A woman went to a pet shop & immediately spotted a large, beautiful COCKATOO.
There was a sign on the cage that said $20.00.
"Why so little," she asked the pet store owner.
The owner looked at her and said,
"Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of Prostitution and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff."

The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird any way.
She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something.
The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said,
"New house, new madam."
The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought "that's really not so bad."
When her 2 teenage daughters returned from school the bird saw and said,
"New house, new madam, new girls."
The girls and the woman began to laugh about the situation considering how and where the COCKATOO had been raised.
Moments later, the woman's husband Peter came home from work.
The bird looked at him and said,

"Hi, Peter !"


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

DANGER BEWARE OF DOG!
Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed a sign saying

"DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG!" posted on the glass door. Inside he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor besides the cash register.
He asked the store manager, "Is THAT the dog folks are supposed to beware of?"
"Yep, that's him," he replied.
The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?"
"Because," the owner replied, "before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him."


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Four ducks"
There were four ducks that got arrested while messing around at the pond. The judge orders the ducks to come in one at a time to speak their piece.
The first duck comes in."What's your name,son?", the judge asks."Duck", replied the duck.
"What are you in for?" the judge asks."Well, I was sitting at the pond blowing bubbles, and the cop came by and arrested me.
"The judge said "O.K., send in the next duck.
"The next duck came in. His name was "Duck,Duck", and he told the exact same story as the first duck.
After his examination, the judge asked for the third duck to be sent in.
The third duck's name was "Duck,Duck,Duck", and he told the same story as the first two.
Finally, the judge sent for the fourth duck.As he came in, the judge said,"Let me guess...Your name is Duck,Duck,Duck,Duck...right?"
The duck replied, "No sir, my name is Bubbles."
~~~~~~~~~~~~

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11 Comments:

Blogger Gwen said...

Hi Mate..
Loved the "DUCK" joke,that fall you had didn't effect your humour.
See you soon xx

February 09, 2007 11:07 am  
Blogger Peter said...

How come the first time I heard the first joke it was a parrot and the guys name was Keith?
What's this about a fall, nothing serious I hope.

February 09, 2007 2:11 pm  
Blogger JunieRose2005 said...

Jeanette, Funny jokes! :)

Did you fall? Are you ok?

Junie

February 09, 2007 3:09 pm  
Blogger Margaret said...

Hi, what are you doing falling about? Ihope there was no real injury, Very funny jokes.
Cheers and hugs Margaret

February 09, 2007 4:53 pm  
Blogger Pamela said...

I got sucked in on the duck duck joked. I totally didn't see it coming

February 09, 2007 5:39 pm  
Blogger Merle said...

Hi Jan ~~ I enjoyed all those jokes in the last couple of posts. I think
the Rememberer is perhaps my pick.
Where and when did you fall and are you OK? Sorry about that hand/foot
thing that we got going, it's driving a few folks nuts. I had to type Run Forrest Run, 3 times, but it was a good one.
Sorry about all my complaints last night, there were a few too many.
ope your blood tests are OK on Friday Jan. I have mine next week
and results the following week.
Take care and stay upright, Love, Merle.

February 09, 2007 7:32 pm  
Blogger PEA said...

I can always expect a good laugh when I come to visit your blog and today is no exception! hehe I so loved all the jokes...I'm still laughing at the Beware of Dog one!! LOL Hugs xox

February 10, 2007 12:50 am  
Blogger Peter said...

Hi there, I’ve been relying on using Bloglines to do my daily rounds of the blogroll for a while now, it’s a very time saving method but it feels a bit impersonal at times, so it’s a hot Saturday, I’m gonna sit here and visit with everyone, It won’t feel any different to you but know that I chose to visit today instead of just answering an electronic reminder.
Have a good day.

February 10, 2007 11:32 am  
Blogger LittleJen said...

funny jokes, smart cocky..lol

February 10, 2007 5:27 pm  
Blogger Hootin'Anni said...

LOLOL

I've heard that joke about the cuckatoo. The version I heard was...at the end, when hubby walks in, the bird says "New house, new madam, new girls, same ol' customers"

February 12, 2007 1:44 am  
Blogger RUTH said...

Great great jokes!...LOL

February 12, 2007 9:00 am  

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