REMEMBER

My Rememberer Is Broke
My forgetter's getting better but my rememberer is broke.

To you that may seem funny but, to me, that is no joke For when I'm "here"

I'm wondering if I really should be "there" And, when I try to think it through, I haven't got a prayer!

Oft times I walk into a room, say "what am I here for?" I wrack my brain, but all in vain, a zero is my score.

At times I put something away where it is safe, but, see! The person it is safest from is, generally, me!

When shopping I may see someone, say "Hi" and have a chat, Then, when the person walks away I ask myself, "who's that?" Yes, my forgetter's getting better while my rememberer is broke, And it's driving me plumb crazy and that isn't any joke.

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BLONDIE
*A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some rectum
deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman they
don't sell rectum deodorant, and never have.
Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the
stuff from this store on a regular basis and would like some more.
I'm sorry", says the pharmacist, "We don't have any"
"But I always buy it here," says the blonde "Do you have the container
that it came in?" asks the pharmacist.
YES", said the blonde, "I'll go home and get it."

She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks
at it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm
deodorant"
Annoyed, the blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from
the container......

"TO APPLY, PUSH UP BOTTOM."*
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IRISH

*Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an

important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to

heaven he said, "Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking
place I will go to **Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and
give up me Irish Whiskey!"
Miraculously, a parking place appeared.
Paddy looked up again and said,

"Never mind, I found one."*

. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read
in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his
best friend, Finney
"Did you see the paper?" asked Gallagher. "They say I died!!"
"Yes, I saw it!" replied Finney. "Where are ye callin' from?"*

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Why is it that people say

they "slept like a baby"

when babies wake up every two hours?

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If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

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Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars,

but check when you say the paint is wet?

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