Wednesday, February 07, 2007

REMEMBER








My Rememberer Is Broke
My forgetter's getting better but my rememberer is broke.
To you that may seem funny but, to me, that is no joke For when I'm "here"
I'm wondering if I really should be "there" And, when I try to think it through, I haven't got a prayer!
Oft times I walk into a room, say "what am I here for?" I wrack my brain, but all in vain, a zero is my score.
At times I put something away where it is safe, but, see! The person it is safest from is, generally, me!
When shopping I may see someone, say "Hi" and have a chat, Then, when the person walks away I ask myself, "who's that?" Yes, my forgetter's getting better while my rememberer is broke, And it's driving me plumb crazy and that isn't any joke.


~~~~~~~~~~

BLONDIE
*A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some rectum
deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman they
don't sell rectum deodorant, and never have.
Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the
stuff from this store on a regular basis and would like some more.
I'm sorry", says the pharmacist, "We don't have any"
"But I always buy it here," says the blonde "Do you have the container
that it came in?" asks the pharmacist.
YES", said the blonde, "I'll go home and get it."

She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks
at it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm
deodorant"
Annoyed, the blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from
the container......

"TO APPLY, PUSH UP BOTTOM."*
~~~~~~~~~~
IRISH


*Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an
important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to
heaven he said, "Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking
place I will go to **Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and
give up me Irish Whiskey!"
Miraculously, a parking place appeared.
Paddy looked up again and said
,
"Never mind, I found one."*
. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read
in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his
best friend, Finney
"Did you see the paper?" asked Gallagher. "They say I died!!"
"Yes, I saw it!" replied Finney. "
Where are ye callin' from?"*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why is it that people say
they "slept like a baby"
when babies wake up every two hours?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars,
but check when you say the paint is wet?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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12 Comments:

Anonymous Hootin' Anni said...

Oh boy howdy, do I love these today!

Humor and laughter is the best thing!!

Love the Irish dude. hehehehe --I can thank you for the blond joke too....I always wondered what the meant on the jar. [just kidding]

I just added a video/slideshow of some of the backyard statues at our home in South Texas....care to view?

Happy day to you Jen

February 07, 2007 1:20 am  
Blogger UKBob said...

Hi Jen, nice to see you're still up to your funny business. I think my remember is broke sometimes. Bob.

February 07, 2007 4:59 am  
Blogger The Ramblin Irishman said...

YOU are a corker. Loved the blonde joke but unfortunately my rememberer is broken so I can never retell a joke. I REALLY liked the K-Mart joke and that one will be told to Cheryl when she comes home. Behave yourself.

February 07, 2007 6:33 am  
Blogger PEA said...

ROFL...that's it, I'm dyeing my hair black! lol I may be blonde but I DO know where to put my deoderant!! LOL Love them all, thank you for making my day:-) Hugs xox

February 07, 2007 9:01 am  
Blogger Peter said...

Hi Jan, more fun stuff, keep 'em comin'.

February 07, 2007 12:18 pm  
Blogger LittleJen said...

I can relate to sleeping like a baby, cause i did last night, got up to the kids a few times... Liam toilet(TWICE) and Kara had a nightmare...grrr

February 07, 2007 1:56 pm  
Blogger Raggedy said...

Great jokes...
rofl
Thanks I needed that.

Have a wonderful day!
*^_^
(=':'=) hugs
(")_ (")Š from
the Cool Raggedy one

February 07, 2007 5:44 pm  
Blogger Pamela said...

heck... that remember is broke is too much like me to be funny
I came home from work today and had two different ear rings on.

no one told me. Do you suppose they thought I was just a crazy old woman?

February 07, 2007 6:47 pm  
Blogger Jim said...

Hi Jen -- I'm way behind on my blog reading. I can relate to the memory thing very well.
Keep them coming, thanks for the visit this morning.
..
Oh yes, I slept like a baby last night, I've already been up two hours now and it is just now 7:00 AM.
..

February 08, 2007 12:01 am  
Blogger RUTH said...

Read your comment on my blog about how hot it is where you are so popped over for a warm up......chuckling away at "My rememberer is broke"...sounds so like me! Maybe I wrote it!!! but if I did I'd forgotten...LOL

February 08, 2007 12:44 am  
Blogger HORIZON said...

God help my 'rememberer'- you should hear my parents!
lol
Love the Gallagher joke and Finney's inquiry.
Nice to be back visiting Jen.
Hope you have been keeping well.
Bests

February 08, 2007 4:41 am  
Blogger Lee said...

Who am I? I can't remember!

February 08, 2007 4:07 pm  

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