Wednesday, January 24, 2007

A Few Jokes







A Complicated Order
A resident in a seaside hotel breakfast room called over the head waiter one morning and said, "I want two boiled eggs, one of them so undercooked it's runny, and the other so over cooked it's tough and hard to eat.
Also, grilled bacon that has been left on the plate to get cold; burnt toast that crumbles away as soon as you touch it with a knife; butter straight from the deep freeze so that it's impossible to spread; and a pot of very weak coffee, luke-warm."
"That's a complicated order sir," said the bewildered waiter.
"It might be quite difficult to prepare."
The guest replied, "Oh?
But that's what I got yesterday!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Baptism
Before performing a baptism, the Priest approached the young father and said solemnly, "Baptism is a serious step.
Are you prepared for it?""I think so," the man replied.
"My wife has made appetizers and we have a caterer coming to provide plenty of cookies and cakes for all of our guests."
"I don't mean that,"
The Priest responded. "I mean, are you prepared spiritually?"
"Oh, sure," came the reply.
"I've got a keg of beer and a case of whiskey."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Heaven
Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "
Do you want to go to heaven?
"The man said, "I do, Father."The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall.
"Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to go to heaven?""Certainly, Father," was the man's reply."Then stand over there against the wall," said the priest.
Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and said, "Do you want to go to heaven?"O'Toole said, "No, I don't Father.
"The priest said, "I don't believe this.
You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?"O'Toole said, "Oh, when I die, yes.
I thought you were getting a group together to go right now."

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16 Comments:

Blogger Peter said...

I'm with O'Toole Jan, sounded a bit like Father Murphy was gonna have a firing squad despach 'em there and then.

January 26, 2007 1:14 am  
Blogger RUTH said...

Great jokes as usual. Hope you are all keeping well.....I have a stitch from laughing!!!

January 26, 2007 8:28 am  
Blogger junierose said...

lol- liked that first one a lot!!!

Junie

January 26, 2007 3:55 pm  
Blogger Susie said...

Loved your jokes. Sorry I missed your daughter's birthday! Hope it was very happy..
:)

January 26, 2007 4:39 pm  
Blogger Jim said...

It did sound like being lined up for a firing squad. Good joke!
The Baptism is my favorite here.
..

January 26, 2007 4:57 pm  
Blogger Pamela said...

Hey... I'm trying to relax so I can get myself into a sleep mode.. and here you are making me giggle outloud by myself.

January 26, 2007 6:01 pm  
Blogger Lee said...

Thanks for the smiles and for visiting my blog, Jeanette. :)

January 26, 2007 7:17 pm  
Blogger RUTH said...

Just popped in to say Happy Australia Day
Rx

January 26, 2007 9:13 pm  
Anonymous colleen said...

Jokes served up with a spoon. I like that!
Gday!

January 27, 2007 1:30 am  
Blogger Sonia said...

Thanks for visiting my blog and for the congratulations to São Paulo!

Happy Birthday to Australia as well!

January 27, 2007 2:29 am  
Blogger Kali said...

hehe, love the jokes *grin*

Happy belated birthday wishes to your daughter Carol. Thanks for sharing your great family/friend pics Jeanette ~ they're wonderful!

January 27, 2007 9:52 pm  
Blogger Kali said...

oh, nearly forgot!

(((HUGS)))

January 27, 2007 9:53 pm  
Blogger Gattina said...

Lol, good laugh in the morning ! I will try to order such a breakfast here, if you don't hear anything from me anymore than I have been killed !
Did you see what is on your next blog ? It was really funny to do that !

January 27, 2007 10:02 pm  
Blogger Gina E. said...

Hi Jeanette, love the jokes! Wish I'd seen them before yesterday - they would have gone down well at our Aussie Day celebration! Thanks for your comment - yeah, that champers is good stuff LMAO!

January 27, 2007 10:41 pm  
Blogger Raggedy said...

G'day mate!
Appy Auzzie Day.
Great jokes! Thanks.
Have a wonderful day!
*^_^
(=':'=) hugs
(")_ (")Š from
the Cool Raggedy one

January 28, 2007 2:57 am  
Blogger PEA said...

Trying to play "catch up" today...please wish Carol my belated Happy Birthday wishes!! Hope her day was simply marvellous:-) I so loved your jokes...that restaurant one, I wish I had the nerve to say something like that about my order!! LOL Loved them all! Hugs xox

January 28, 2007 5:02 am  

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