Tuesday, August 04, 2009

Time for a little laughter

Gday everyone. Hope your all well where ever you maybe.Im feeling very relieved now my results are in from last tests. specialst doesn't need to see me for 12 months, Yippeee. but will see my Doctor in a couple weeks for my 3 monthly routine check up.
Ill be out and about getting a few more photo's of the lake in the nxt few days as its filling quickly ,a few more feet to go.

So tonight putting a little laughter into our lives with a few jokes . Enjoy .

THE SPOILED UNDER-30 CROWD!!!

If you are 30 or older you will think this is hilarious!!!!

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with walking Twenty-five miles to school every morning uphill... barefoot. BOTH ways.
Yadda, yadda, yadda
And I remember promising myself that when I grew up,There was no way in hell I was going to lay A bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it And how easy they've got it!
But now that... I'm over the ripe old age of Thirty,
I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today.
You've got it so easy!
I mean, compared to my Childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it but you kids today you Don't know how good you've got it!I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet If we wanted to know something,
We had to go to the damn library and Look it up ourselves, in the card catalogue!!
There was no email!! We had to actually write Somebody a letter, with a pen! .....Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!
There were no MP3's or Napsters!
You wanted to Steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ'd usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up!
We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you Were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it !
and we didn't have fancy Caller ID either!
When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school,Your mom, your boss, your Bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you Just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!
We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation videoGames with high-resolution 3-D graphics!
We had the Atari 2600!With gamesLike 'Space Invaders' and 'asteroids'. Your guy was a little square! You Actually had to use your Imagination!! And there were no multiple levels or Screens, it was just one screen Forever!And you could never win.
The game just kept getting Harder and harder and Faster and faster until you died!
Just like LIFE
! You had to use a Little book called a TV Guide to find out what was On!
You were screwed when it Came to channel surfing! You had to get off Your ass and walk over to the TV to change the Channel and there was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons On Saturday Morning.
Do you Hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait
ALL WEEK
For cartoons, you spoiled Little rat-bastards!
And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat Something up we had to use the stove ... Imagine that! That's exactly what I'm talking about!
You kids Today have got it too easy.
You're spoiled. You guys wouldn't have lasted Five minutes back in 1980!
Regards,The over 30 Crowd

*~*~*~*


The Postman
One Monday morning the Postman is motorcycling through the neighbourhood on his usual route, delivering the mail.

As he approached one of the homes he noticed that both cars were still in the driveway.
His wonder was cut short by Derek, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer and wine bottles for the recycling bin.
''Morning, Derek, looks like you guys had a great party last night!" the Postman comments. Derek, in obvious pain, replies 'Actually we had it Saturday night.
This is the first time I've felt like moving since 4:00 am Sunday morning.
We had about fifteen couples, from around the neighbourhood, over for some weekend fun and it got a bit wild.
We all got so drunk around midnight that we started playing
'WHO AM I.'
The Postman thinks a moment and says, "How do you play 'WHO AM I?" "Well, All the guys go into the bedroom and we come out one at a time with a sheet covering us, with only our 'family jewels' showing through a hole in the sheet.
Then the women try to guess who it is."

The Postman laughs and says, "Sounds like fun.

I'm sorry I missed that."

'Probably a good thing you did,' Derek responded.

'Your name came up seven times....'

~~~~~~~

THE BOTTLE OF WINE
For all of us who are married, were married, wish you were married, or wish
you weren't married, this is something to smile about the next time you see
a bottle of wine:
Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona
when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road.
As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the
Navajo woman if she would like a ride.
With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car.
Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with
the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at
everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown
bag on the seat next to Sally.
'What in bag?' asked the old woman.
Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, 'It's a bottle of wine.
I got it for my husband.'
The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two.
Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said:
'Good trade

*~*~*~*~*~*


A senior citizen

A Southampton senior citizen drove his brand new BMW Z4 convertible out of the car saleroom. Taking off down the motorway, he floored it to 90mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.

"Amazing!" he thought as he flew down the M27, enjoying pushing the pedal to the metal even more.Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a police car behind him, bluelights flashing and siren blaring.

"I can get away from him - no problem!" thought the elderly gent as he floored it to 110 mph, then 120, then 130 mph. Suddenly, he thought,

"What on earth am I doing? I'm too old for this nonsense!"

So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch up with him.
Pulling in behind him, the police officer walked up to the driver's side of the BMW, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 10 minutes.

Today is Friday and I'm taking off for the weekend.

If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go.

"The man looked very seriously at the policeman and replied, "Years ago, My wife ran off with a policeman.

I thought you were bringing her back."
"Have a good day, Sir," said the policeman.



*~*~*~*~*

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11 Comments:

Blogger Gramma Ann said...

You had some funny ones for us today, Jen. I liked the last one best. LOL...

August 05, 2009 12:42 am  
Blogger Lady Di Tn said...

That last one was a jewel. lol
Peace

August 05, 2009 2:23 am  
Blogger Tinsie said...

Great news re: your test results! Cheers!

August 05, 2009 5:28 am  
Blogger Puss-in-Boots said...

Hey congratulations on your clear tests Jen. Glad to hear everything's fine.

Loved that old senior citizen joke...can't beat the greyheads for wit!

August 05, 2009 11:51 am  
Blogger Gattina said...

You must have been relieved when you got your test results ! It's always a terrible time to wait !

August 05, 2009 3:25 pm  
Blogger Pamela said...

I'm very happy that your tests were so good.

A merry heart is like a good medicine. So I always feel better when I come and laugh here.

August 05, 2009 3:34 pm  
Blogger Merle said...

G'day Dear Jan ~~ All good jokes, but
I liked the policeman bringing back his wife best.
Glad you liked Geoff's home and Kathy's family and the various jokes.
The monk one was frustrating.
The weather may soon start to warm a
bit. A couple of days, I haven't put the heater on first thing. And Wow
Spring is only 26 days away.
Stay well, my friend and take care,
Love, Merle.

August 05, 2009 4:20 pm  
Blogger Margaret Cloud said...

These were pricless, made me smile, I especially liked the party one. Thank you for coming by, hope you have a great weekend.

August 08, 2009 1:29 am  
Blogger Merle said...

G'day Dear Jan ~~ Thanks for the
comments and I am so glad to be rid of those huge trees. The washing dries much better and I hope the garden will soon take off.
Sorry you had a tear for Gwen, but it was a great story ~the Brick. She is still very missed.
Great you get broad beans from Pauline's husband. Geoff planted some dwarf green bean and spring onion seeds for me at the
weekend. Frosts should be gone by time they are up (I hope.)
Take care my friend, Love, Merle.

August 10, 2009 4:17 pm  
Blogger Janice said...

Congrats on the good test results.

Good jokes, I'm not sure which one I like the best but I got a chuckle a most of them.

Janice~

August 10, 2009 6:25 pm  
Blogger Gina E. said...

Hi Jen, glad to hear all is well with you again. Loved the jokes as usual! And the photos of the lake being filled again were superb.

August 10, 2009 11:24 pm  

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