Sunday, March 01, 2009

Emily and a little laughter

G'day Everyone.. I hope alls well in your part of the world. I'm on top of the world as my lovely Grandaughter Emily, Gary and Christine's daughter has come to stay with me, while she is studying Nursing at La Trobe University in Albury Wodonga.
Why stay at Nans? Well Gary and Christine live 4hrs drive away from La Trobe Uni. and Im only 5o mins away , making it a lot easier for Emily to travel to Uni. each day..And I must say Im loving her being here , some one to cook for and enjoy a meal with.

Emily's boyfriend Jarryd came Friday to visit her and stayed for the weekend, a lovely weekend has been had by all.


My Lovely Grandaughter Emily

Emily and Jarryd in pool

Penny was letting the dog on the TV. know that this is her home
Now time for a few jokes


Three women go down to Mexico one night to celebrate college graduation, get drunk and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning, though none of them can remember what they did the night before.
The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if she has any last words.

She says, "I just graduated from Trinity Bible College and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on behalf of the innocent."

They throw the switch and nothing happens. They all immediately fall to the floor on their knees, beg for forgiveness, and release her.

The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words. "I just graduated from the Harvard School of Law and I believe in the power of justice to intervene on the part of the innocent."

They throw the switch and, again, nothing happens. Again they all immediately fall to their knees, beg for forgiveness, and release her.

The last one (you knew it), a blonde, is strapped in and says, "Well, I'm from the University of Texas and just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I'll tell ya right now, ya'll ain't gonna electrocute nobody if you don't plug this thing in!"

~~~~~~

Old Timer Sex

This is too funny to be dirty - enjoy!

The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.'

Yes, she says, 'I remember it well.'

OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?'

Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!'

A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.

The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.

So, as the couple passes, he says to them,' Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?'

Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, 'Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence.'
~~~~~~~~~
The Postman

One Monday morning the Postman is walking through the neighbourhood on his usual route, delivering the mail. As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars were still in the driveway. His wonder was cut short by Derek, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer and liquor bottles for the recycling bin.

'Wow Derek, looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night,' the Postman comments.

Derek, in obvious pain, replies 'Actually we had it Saturday night. This is the first I have felt like moving since 4:00 am Sunday morning. We had about fifteen couples from around the neighbourhood over for some weekend fun and It got a bit wild. We all got so drunk around midnight that we started playing WHO AM I.'

The Postman thinks a moment and says, 'How do you play WHO AM I?'

'Well, all the guys go in the bedroom and we come out one at a time with a sheet covering us, with only our 'family jewels' showing through a hole in the sheet. Then the women try to guess who it is.'

The Postman laughs and says, 'Sounds like fun. I'm sorry I missed that.'

'Probably a good thing you did,' Derek responded. 'Your name came up seven times....
~~~~
Thats all folk I promise to get around to you all in the next day or two..

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18 Comments:

Blogger Marjorie said...

Hi Jeannette,
I am sorry to see that the terrible fires are continuing, it is such a heartache for all of Aus. I hope it will be over very soon.
It will be nice for you having your granddaughter there. Good luck to Emily in her pursuit to become a nurse. A great career choice.
Your little dog reminds me of my little Chloe who tries to jump into the TV whenever there is any animal on it. She is very territorial. I have two dogs,(Coton De Tulear's) they are a rare breed related to the Maltese, Poodle, Bichon, group. They are a lot of fun and good company.

March 02, 2009 12:14 am  
Blogger Peggy said...

I just cracked up over the electric fence joke!! You always put a smile on my face. Your granddaughter is very beautiful young lady and so glad you have here with you for awhile. My youngest daughter is a med tech but going to school for her nursing degree.Wish she and her family lived closer to me. Have a great day!!

March 02, 2009 12:28 am  
Blogger Gattina said...

How nice that your grand daughter lives with you now for a while ! She is already big ! I don't have any grandchild yet.

March 02, 2009 3:20 am  
Blogger Reader Wil said...

How wonderful that your granddaughter is staying with you!
I am sorry to hear and see on TV that the fires are still going on. I do hope that all Australian bloggers are safe.

March 02, 2009 4:12 am  
Blogger Hootin' Anni said...

Awwwwwwwww, she is so pretty Jen!!!! I'm glad to hear that they were great company for you. And Penny? She's a hoot! Just trying to protect her territory.

I dedicated my Sunday post to Sam and Bob [the koalas] today. Have you heard any news on how the two are doing?

March 02, 2009 4:23 am  
Blogger Janice said...

Hi Jeanette,

Your G-daughter sounds like a lot of company for you, and she looks too young to be in college.

Janice~

March 02, 2009 3:30 pm  
Blogger Diane@Diane's Place said...

Enjoy your time with your granddaughter, Jen. I know it must be nice to have someone around to talk to and fuss over a bit. :o)

Please be safe during the fires. I pray for rain soon to put an end to the fires.

Love and hugs,

Diane

March 02, 2009 6:45 pm  
Blogger Reader Wil said...

Thanks for your comments on my posts dedicated to France last week. The garden of the holiday house we rented in the south of France has indeed the same vegetation as the surroundings of my daughter's house in Queensland.. Last week France , this week it'll be Greece, for the letter G is having its turn on ABC Wednesday.

March 02, 2009 9:54 pm  
Blogger Puss-in-Boots said...

How lovely for you to have your granddaughter staying with you. She's a very pretty girl.

Love the jokes, Jan, especially the old couple and the postman...lol.

Keep up the good work.

March 02, 2009 10:00 pm  
Blogger Mildred said...

Thank you for leaving a comment on my blog so that I could find your lovely blog. Your granddaughter is just lovely and I know you will enjoy her company. The jokes were funny and I will share them with my hubby. Hope you have a great day.

March 03, 2009 12:02 am  
Blogger PEA said...

Hello dear Jen:-)

Awwww how wonderful that your granddaughter is staying with you while she attends University. As you say, it's great companionship for you as well as someone to cook for:-) She is beautiful!! The best of luck to her on becoming a nurse!

Loved the jokes, must print them out for my mom! hehe xoxo

March 03, 2009 7:30 am  
Blogger Susie said...

Hi Jen,
Emily is such a beautiful girl. How fun for both of you that she'll be staying there while studying nursing!
Loved the electric fence joke! Too funny :)
xo

March 03, 2009 7:44 am  
Blogger Jim said...

Hi Jen, you do have a lovely and cute granddaughter. I hope she does well in school.
I thought maybe the postman joke would be an 'electric' one too. Just as well, it was better this way. I really did LOL!
..

March 03, 2009 3:00 pm  
Blogger Pamela said...

I'm giggling at the dog and the television. Sometimes our cat will look at it if something catches her attention.

Does your granddaughter do the dusting? heh heh.

March 04, 2009 8:11 am  
Blogger Merle said...

Dear Jan ~~ I hope your foot is better and not swelling without the pressure bandage. The cooler weather should help a bit. Isn't the cool lovely and the fire danger passed, I can watch the news without crying now
My leg is a little better, not agony to walk like it was. You should enjoy having your lovely Granddaughter to stay with you, and Emily should also enjoy that. Glad you liked the Tree story and the Aussie Army joke.Take care,
dear friend, Love, Merle.

March 05, 2009 8:13 pm  
Blogger UKBob said...

Hi Jeanette, Glad to see you have company which is usually a good thing. Our daughter little dog is just the same way with the TV and other dogs on it, she can spot them a mile off yet the other two big dogs never bother about it one bit. Anyway I hope everything else is going okay for you and I will pop back in to check on you in a day or two. Bob.

March 05, 2009 9:28 pm  
Blogger Marilyn said...

Pop over to my blog, I have something to give you :) Marilyn

March 06, 2009 8:50 pm  
Blogger Heart of Rachel said...

It's nice that you had your lovely granddaughter for company.

I love the last shot. Penny must have wanted to make a clear statement. :)

March 07, 2009 9:09 pm  

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