Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Happy New year


G'day everyone , Just popped in to wish you all a Happy & Safe 2009.

I currently have a full house of family and friends, 22 in all. My home resembles a camping ground with a Caravan, two family size tents and a few cars taking up most of the backyard.

I am having a wonderful time and will get around to visiting you all as soon as time permits.
Will post photos at a later date.


My Wish for You in 2009
May peace break into your house and may thieves come to steal your debts.
May the pockets of your jeans become a magnet of $100 bills.
May love stick to your face like Vaseline and may laughter assault your lips!
May your clothes smell of success like smoking tires and may happiness slap you across the face and may your tears be that of joy.
May the problems you had forget your home address!
In simple words ............

May 2009 be the best year of your life!!!
~~~~~~~
Now to end with a little humour


Aussie Drovers
Two cattle drovers standing in an Outback bar.
One asked, ' What are ya up to, Mate? '
Ahh, I'm takin' a mob of 6000 from Goondiwindi to Gympie. '
' Oh yeah........and what route are you takin'? '
Ah, prob'ly the Missus............. after all, she stuck by me durin' the
drought.
~~~~~~~

Two chimps and a Blonde

- . A blonde lady motorist was about two hours from the Gold Coast when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down.
The man walked up to the car and asked, 'Are you going to the Gold Coast?" 'Sure,' answered the blonde, 'do you need a lift ?' 'Not for me.
I'll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck my problem is I've got two chimpanzees in the back which have to be taken to the Gold Coast Zoo.
They're a bit stressed already so I don't want to keep them on the road all day could you possibly take them to the zoo for me ?
I' ll giveyou $100 for your trouble..
' 'I'd be happy to,' said the blonde.
So the two chimpanzees were ushered into the back seat of the blonde's car and carefully strapped into their seat belts.
Off they went. Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of the Gold Coast when suddenly he was horrified!!

There was the blonde walking down the street and holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement of a big crowd.
With a screech of brakes he pulled off the road and ran over to the blonde.
'What the heck are you doing here ?' he demanded,

'I gave you $100 to take these chimpanzees to the zoo.'

'Yes, I know you did,' said the blonde,' but we had money left over

---so now we're going to SeaWorld ..

~~~~~~~

GOLF LESSONS

A foursome of guys is waiting at the men's tee, while Another foursome of women is hitting from the ladies' tees.

The ladies are taking their time.

When the final lady is Ready to hit off, she hacks the ball ten feet.

She goes over and whiffs it completely.

Then she hacks it another ten feet, and finally hacks it another five feet.

she looks up at the patiently waiting men and says apologetically,"I guess all those DAMN
lessons I took over the winter didn't help.

"One of the men immediately responds, "Well, there you have it, you should have taken golf Lessons instead!"

He never even had a chance to duck.

~~~~~

The Naked Refrigerator Guy
Three men approached the gate to heaven and as there was only one opening left, the gatekeeper said that whoever had the most remarkable and worthy death could enter.

He asked the first man how he died, and the man replied,

'Imagine this -- I suspected my wife was having an affair behind my back and I wanted to find out the truth.

I came home from work one day to surprise her and catch her in the act,when I searched the house I found her in the bathroom,the mirror was fogged and she had a towel on but her hair wasn't wet, so I knew she wasn't taking a shower.I looked all around the house to find the guy. I found ten fingers hanging onto the window sill outside. I pounded them until he finally let go. When he fell he landed in some bushes and God must have loved him because he lived, so I threw the refrigerator out the window to finish him off.

After all the excitement I fell dead of a heart attack.'

Then the gatekeeper asked the second man how he died. He replied, 'Imagine this -- I'm minding my own business on top of my apartment building.

I was riding one of those stationary bicycles when the screws gave out and I flew off the side. I reached out and caught a window sill, then some idiot started pounding on my fingertips. When I fell I landed in some bushes and God must have loved me because I lived.

But then that same idiot threw his refrigerator out the window and it crushed me.'

'That, too, is horrible,' said the gate keeper.

Then he asked the third man the same question.

His reply was,

'OK, imagine this, I'm naked in a refrigerator...'

~~~~~~~~
CHEERS!!!

Labels:

21 Comments:

Blogger Hootin' Anni said...

Happy New Year wishes to you from me dear Jen!

Enjoy the loved ones on such a special time of year.

December 31, 2008 1:26 am  
Blogger Gramma Ann said...

Enjoy the time with your family and friends and stay safe. You put a smile on my face, funny jokes made me chuckle.

December 31, 2008 1:42 am  
Blogger raccoonlover1963 said...

Hi Jen. Happy New Year to you as well. Great jokes!
Take care and have a great week.
Lisa

December 31, 2008 2:03 am  
Blogger Peggy said...

Have a fantastic 2009!!

December 31, 2008 2:58 am  
Blogger Mad Bush Farm Crew said...

G'day Jeanette. Love the jokes. Hope you're enjoying all the family. Our farm had a right mob here. All quiet again now. have a great New Year

Big hug from Liz and the crew here at the farm

December 31, 2008 5:38 am  
Blogger Merle said...

Dear Jan ~~ Great jokes. Enjoy the time with your family as I am sure you are doing. Thanks for your comments and Christmas wishes. I had a beaut one with Kathy and family.
Good to be home though. I guess your Christmas morning was lovely at Donna's home seeing the kids open their gifts. I haven't had any pav so I kept my fingers out of the sauce. I'll save that for you!! Wishing you and all your family a happy and safe New Year with the best of health, happiness and joy. Take care, Much love, Merle.

December 31, 2008 3:07 pm  
Blogger Gattina said...

Cheers and happy New Year to you too !
We will stay at home, nice things to eat the whole evening and watch TV with our 5 cats, just like old couple do, lol !

December 31, 2008 8:01 pm  
Blogger sonia a. mascaro said...

DEAR JEANETTE,
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU AND YOURS!

December 31, 2008 10:49 pm  
Blogger Winifred said...

Sounds like you're having a great time.

Love the chimps story. Have a wonderful year in 2009.

January 01, 2009 6:31 am  
Blogger PEA said...

Wishing you and yours all the very best that 2009 has to offer, dear Jen. Isn't it wonderful being able to spend the holidays with your loved ones...I'm sure you're enjoying every minute of it:-) xoxo

January 01, 2009 8:20 am  
Blogger Puss-in-Boots said...

Happy New Year, Jen...sounds like you're being kept out of mischief having all those visitors...or are you getting into more mischief???

Have a lovely time with the rellies and look forward to reading more posts from you in 2009

Hugs.

January 01, 2009 11:09 am  
Blogger Peter said...

Happy New Year Jan and all the rest of the mob too, glad tose cattle came to Gympie, I might get a decent steak if I ever get home again.

January 01, 2009 11:27 pm  
Blogger Jim said...

Hi Jan, thank you for the nice blonde joke. I hope you had a nice Christmas and now,
Happy New Year!
..

January 02, 2009 12:58 pm  
Blogger Janice said...

Happy New Year Jeanette,

Must be fun having that much family around.

Loved the jokes,
Janice~

January 02, 2009 4:00 pm  
Blogger Heart of Rachel said...

Hi Jen. Wishing you a wonderful New Year. May 2009 usher in many wonderful blessings for you and your family. God bless.

January 03, 2009 5:04 am  
Blogger Pamela said...

lucky you -- having a bash of family at your house for the holiday.

(and I've been hanging around you Aussies long enough that I got that first joke. I know about a "route"

January 04, 2009 9:46 am  
Blogger Merle said...

Hi again Dear Jan ~~ Thanks for your New Year wishes and the same to you. Specially the healthy part, as we know how important that is.
You won't know your house when all the visitors leave - it will feel empty for a while. Glad you liked the story of Molly as I think nearly everyone did. Take care, dear friend, Much love, Merle.

January 04, 2009 3:55 pm  
Blogger Gina E. said...

Best wishes for 2009 Jeanette - peace and good health in abundance!

January 05, 2009 1:55 am  
Blogger Gledwood said...

Hiya Jan! I miss seeing your friendly face... just wanted to say I hope you're having a great one in 2009!

All the very best now
;->...

January 05, 2009 8:30 am  
Blogger Ruthie said...

Happy New Year to you too.
Ruthie

January 05, 2009 6:24 pm  
Blogger Dreadnought said...

Hi Jeanette, Happy New Year, I am looking forward to seeing the pictures of you all having fun.

January 08, 2009 9:56 pm  

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