"CHRISTMAS"

HO! HO! HO!

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Gday Everyone.

I hope all is well where ever you may be , and your'e all underway with your Christmas preparations.

Ive had a hectic few days, Gwen and Myself travelled down to Melbourne for my Dear friends 50th wedding anniversary surprise party.

We stayed at my Son Gary's & Christine's Saturday & Sunday evening, my daughter Joanne, Colin and family along with friends Marc & Kristy came for a few drinks and catch up on some gossip.

Sunday; Christine & Alyce drove us over to the party and picked us up again afterwards a great time was had by all.

Monday afternoon I drove home,had an early night after many late ones Tuesday played Pennant at Wangaratta Wednesday off to bowls for Xmas break up Thursday check up at Doctors he was very pleased with me and Friday off to the hairdressers and some much needed Christmas Shopping!!

This Christmas Spirit Award was kindly passed on to me by Hootin' Anni. Thank you.dear Anni.

.Here are the rules of this award.

You must be a true Christmas lover to receive this award.

You must link back to who gave you the award.

You must list 5 things that you love about Christmas.

Pass it on to however many you like, but to at least one person to keep the Christmas cheer going.

Let the recipients know you have tagged them.

Five things I love about Christmas.

1 Sending and recieving many cards and Christmas wishes from family and friends

2 Watching Carols by Candlelight. and going around looking at all the Christmas lights with family Christmas eve.

3 Waking up Christmas Morning with family and watching the grandchildren open there gifts with delight. then spending the day with them.

4 Boxing day .Preparing and waiting for all my Family and friends to arrive

5 Love having all my family together at my home for Christmas holidays

In the true Christmas spirit I pass this award on to all my friends..

So please keep the Christmas Cheer going.

. ~~~~~~~

Now time for a little humour

Christmas Office Party

After the annual office Christmas party blow-out, John woke up with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed, and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening.

After a trip to the bathroom he was able to make his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him.

"Louise," he moaned, "tell me what went on last night.

Was it as bad as I think?"

"Even worse," she assured him in her most scornful one. "

You made a complete ass of yourself, succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors, and insulted the chairman of the company to his face."

"He's an arrogant, self-important prick, piss on him!"

"You did.

All over his suit, " Louise informed him.

"And he fired you."

"Well, screw him," said John.

"I did. You're back at work on Monday."
~~~~~~~~

SCOTTISH LOGIC

A Scotsman calls his son in London the day before Christmas Eve and says, I hate to ruin your day, laddie but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.

'Dad, what are you talking about?' the son screams.

We cannae stand the sight of each other any longer,' the father says. 'We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Leeds and tell her.'

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. 'Like hell they're getting divorced,' she shouts, 'I'll take care of this,'
She calls Scotland immediately, and screams at her father, 'You are NOT getting divorced.

Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?' and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. 'Okay,' he says, 'they're coming for Christmas - and they're paying their own way.'

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The Parrot

A young man named John received a parrot as a Christmas gift.

The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.
Everything the bird said was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.
John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary.
Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot.
The parrot yelled back.

John shook the parrot and the parrot became angrier and even ruder.
John, in desperation, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.

For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed and swore.

Then suddenly there was total quiet.

Not a peep was heard for over a minute.
Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened thedoor to the freezer.

The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arm and said:
"I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions.

I'm sincerely remorseful for my transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior.

" John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude.

As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued,

"May I ask what the turkey did?"

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A few one liners

What beats his chest and swings from Christmas cake to Christmas cake? Tarzipan !

Mum, Can I have a dog for Christmas ? No you can have turkey like everyone else !

What did the eskimos sing when they got there Christmas dinner ? "Whalemeat again, don't
know where, don't know when " !

What did the big cracker say to the little cracker ?My pop is bigger than yours !

Who is never hungry at Christmas ?The turkey - he's always stuffed !

What bird has wings but cannot fly ? Roast turkey !

Whats the best thing to put into a Christmas cake ?Your teeth !

We had grandma for Christmas dinner ?Really, we had turkey !

Whats happens if you eat the Christmas decorations ?You get tinsel-itus !

What do vampires put on their turkey at Christmas ? Grave-y !

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Happy CHRISTMAS To All!

CHEERS \_/ \_/ \_/

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