Friday, December 15, 2006

A Few Jokes Tonight

Hi Everyone ., I am feeling very frustrated that I have been unable to leave comments on a lot of your sites , won't let me log on, not even as "Anonymous" , but I have visited many of you , but just cannot leave a comment no matter how I try .
But will try getting to you all as soon as possible
.

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Secret To A Long Marriage
With a couple celebrating their 50th anniversary at the church's marriage marathon, the minister asked Brother Ralph to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he managed to live with the same woman all these years.

The husband replied to the audience, "Well, I treated her with respect, spent money on her, but mostly I took her traveling on special occasions.
" The minister inquired, trips to where?? "For our 25th anniversary, I took her to Beijing , China .
" The minister then said, "What a terrific example you are to all husbands, Ralph. Please tell the audience what you're going to do for your wife on your 50th anniversary?
" Brother Ralph replied: "I'm going to go get her."



.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

HOW LONG HAVE I GOT LEFT?
A man woke up in a hospital bed and called for his doctor. He asked "Give it to me straight. How long have I got?" The physician replied that he doubted that his patient would survive the night. The man then said "Call for my lawyer." When the lawyer arrived, the man asked for his physician to stand on one side of the bed, while the lawyer stood on the other. The man then laid back and closed his eyes. When he remained silent for several minutes, the physician asked what he had in mind.The man replied "Jesus died with a thief on either side, and I thought I'd check out the same way."
` ` `~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ `

The Cowboy Boots
(Anyone who has ever dressed a child will love this)
Did you hear about the Texas teacher who was helping One of her kindergarten students put on his cowboy boots?
He asked for help and she could see why.
Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn't want to go on. By the time they got the second boot on, she had worked up a sweat.
She almost cried when the little boy said, "Teacher, they're on the wrong feet."
She looked, and sure enough, they were.
It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on.
She managed to keep her cool as, together, they worked to get the boots back on, this time on the right feet. He then announced, "These aren't my boots."
She bit her tongue, rather than get right in his face and scream, "Why didn't you say so?", like she wanted to.
Once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off his little feet.
No sooner had they gotten the boots off when he said, "They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear 'em."
Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry.
But she mustered up what grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots on his feet again.
Helping him into his coat, she asked, "Now, where are your mittens?
" He said, "I stuffed 'em in the toes of my boots."
She will be eligible for parole in three years.

17 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very funny, still laughing,thanks for visit to my site, my blogging friends have been very importent to me.
Cheers Margaret

December 15, 2006 11:49 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Love the cowboy boots story Jan.

December 16, 2006 12:44 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Once again some brilliant jokes. Hope you manage to get back to visit us all soon.
Rx

December 16, 2006 1:31 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

the denid comment comlaint is everywhere.
I put a request in at Blogger and got the "automatic reply letter"

Ive heard the cowboy boot joke before - but I loved it a 2nd time.
I used to be able to remember jokes. Now they just slip out the back jack.

December 16, 2006 1:57 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Have you tried signing in first before you go to any blogs or comment on them? I wasn't able to leave any comments but I find that if I go to https://beta.blogger.com/start and sign in first it usually works ok. Anyway I've just posted a meme so if you fancy a go I would be interested in seeing what your answers are. Bob.

December 16, 2006 5:18 am  
Anonymous Gwen said...

Great jokes Mate..
Will see you soon.
Love Gwen xoxo

December 16, 2006 1:59 pm  
Blogger Sue said...

Blogger has been over the top frustrating this week. I miss being able to comment to. I finally established a free Google account and that has solved it for now.
Who knows what will happen next though??
Loved your jokes!

December 16, 2006 3:11 pm  
Blogger Meow said...

Hey Jeanette,
Seems Blogger has fixed it's bugs ... I was allowed to comment on Gwen's Beta Blog just now. Hope it works for you, too.
Take care, and have a great weekend.
Meow

December 16, 2006 6:49 pm  
Blogger Peter said...

That should solve some of your commenting problems Jan, hope they get it ALL sorted soon, my previous comment got changed to anonymous? go figure.

December 17, 2006 12:19 am  
Blogger Pamela said...

Isn't the comment business so weird. Yesterday I coudn't get on anybodys.

I don't think it was me, I think it was blogger.. late at night my time - and I kept getting a time out waiting for blogger .

December 17, 2006 6:42 am  
Blogger Janice said...

Hi,

I've been having problems myself with the new blogger beta, and I have been trying and trying to post only to see like a zillion of my post!

Oops!

LOL on the cowboy boots story it's the first time I've heard that one, but oh boy does that ever sound like a kid!

Janice~

December 17, 2006 6:06 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jeanette,

I also often have problems leaving comments!

All your jokes were funny but I especially liked the one about the man in the hospital! lol!


Junie

December 18, 2006 5:03 am  
Blogger UKBob said...

Hi Jen, I like the music you have playing on your blog - its cool. I was having trouble commenting so I gave in and went on to beta blogger, it was quite painless and easy and nothing was lost or anything dire like that. Even on there thought you have to make sure you sign in before you can comment on anything. Bob.

December 19, 2006 12:59 am  
Blogger LZ Blogger said...

Jen - I have had trouble posting too for about the last four days. I think the may be trying to drive me to Beta Blogger. Glad you finally made it though to my blog! ~ jb///

December 19, 2006 2:22 am  
Blogger The Ramblin Irishman said...

Enjoyed your blog as usual. Regular blogger doesn't seem to want to work with blogger beta. As Bob said you have to sign in before you can leave comments. Frustrating indeed. Loved the doctor/lawyer joke.

December 19, 2006 4:36 am  
Blogger Sonia said...

Very funny! Love the jokes!
Thanks for your visit and nice comment on my place!
MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

December 19, 2006 5:20 am  
Blogger Jim said...

Maybe can comment today. I couldn't another day.
Might sister sent the kid, boot, and teacher thing in an e-mail yesterday. I'm posting it.
I sure hope you aren't the original author. But if you are, may I have permission to post it (thanks).
..

December 19, 2006 6:30 am  

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