Puppies for sale
A farmer had some puppies he needed to sell.
Priests do not lie !!!
THE HAIR DRYER, AND HOW IT TRAVELED
A distinguished young woman on a flight from Switzerland asked thePriest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?""Of course.
that may I do for you?"
Well, I bought an expensive woman's electronic hair dryer for my mother's birthday.
The dryer is unopened and well over the Customs limits; and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it.
Is there any way you could carry it through Customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?""I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie.
""With your honest face, Father, no one will question you.
"When they reached the Customs area, she let the priest go ahead of her.
The official asked: "Father, do you have anything to declare?""From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare.
"The official thought this answer strange, so asked, "And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?
""I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused.
"Roaring with laughter, the official said, "Go ahead, Father."
WHERE DO RED-HEADED BABIES COME FROM?????
After their baby was born, the panicked father
went to see the Obstetrician. 'Doctor,' the man
said, 'I don't mind telling you, but I'm a little
upset because my daughter has red hair . She can't possibly be mine!!'
'Nonsense,' the doctor said'.
'Even though you and your wife both have black
hair, one of your ancestors may have contributed red hair to the gene pool.''It isn't possible,' the man insisted.'This can't be, our families on both sides had jet-black hair for generations.''Well,' said the doctor, 'let me ask you this. How often do you have sex??? '
The man seemed a bit ashamed. 'I've been working very hard for the past year .
We only made love once or twice every few months.' 'Well, there you have it!' The doctor said confidently.
'It's rust !'
Golfer At The Dentist
Golfer at the dentist:
A man and his wife walked into a dentist's office.
The man said to the dentist, 'Doc, I'm in a big hurry.
I have two buddies sitting out in my car
waiting for us to go play golf, so forget about the
anesthetic and just pull the tooth and be done with it.
We have a 10:00 AM tee time at the best golf course
in town and it's 9:30 already. I don't have time to wait
for the anesthetic to work!'
The dentist thought to himself, 'My goodness, this is
surely a very brave man asking to have his tooth pulled
without using anything to kill the pain.'
So the dentist asks him, 'Which tooth is it, sir?
The man turned to his wife and said, 'Open your
mouth, Honey, and show him.'
****A day without a smile is like a day without sunshine!****