Sunday, November 23, 2008

Puppies for sale

A few more jokes to keep you smiling


A farmer had some puppies he needed to sell.

He painted a sign advertising the 4 pups.

And set about nailing it to a post on the edge of his yard.

As he was driving the last nail into the post, he felt a tug on his overalls.

He looked down into the eyes of little boy.

'Mister,' he said, 'I want to buy one of your puppies

.''Well,' said the farmer, as he rubbed the sweat off the back of his neck, 'These puppies come from fine parents and cost a good deal of money.

'The boy dropped his head for a moment.

Then reaching deep into his pocket, he pulled out a handful of change and held it up to the farmer

.'I've got thirty-nine cents. Is that enough to take a look?''Sure,' said the farmer.

And with that he let out a whistle. 'Here, Dolly!' he called.

Out from the doghouse and down the ramp ran Dolly followed by four little balls of fur

.The little boy pressed his face against the chain link fence.

His eyes danced with delight.

As the dogs made their way to the fence,the little boy noticed something else stirring inside the doghouse.

Slowly another little ball appeared, this one noticeably smaller.

Down the ramp it slid.

Then in a somewhat awkward manner, the little pup began hobbling toward the others, doing its best to catch up....'I want that one,' the little boy said, pointing to the runt.

The farmer knelt down at the boy's side and said, 'Son, you don't wan t that puppy.

He will never be able to run and play with you like these other dogs would.

'With that the little boy stepped back from the fence, reached down, and began rolling up one leg of his trousers.

In doing so he revealed a steel brace running down both sides of his leg attaching itself to a specially made shoe.

Looking back up at the farmer, he said, 'You see sir, I don't run too well myself, and he will need someone who understands.'

With tears in his eyes, the farmer reached down and picked up the little pup.

Holding it carefully he handed it to the little boy.

'How much?' asked the little boy.

'No charge,' answered the farmer,

'There's no charge for love.'

The world is full of people who need someone who understands .

~~~~~~

Priests do not lie !!!

THE HAIR DRYER, AND HOW IT TRAVELED

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Switzerland asked thePriest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?""Of course.

that may I do for you?"

Well, I bought an expensive woman's electronic hair dryer for my mother's birthday.

The dryer is unopened and well over the Customs limits; and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it.

Is there any way you could carry it through Customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?""I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie.

""With your honest face, Father, no one will question you.

"When they reached the Customs area, she let the priest go ahead of her.

The official asked: "Father, do you have anything to declare?""From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare.

"The official thought this answer strange, so asked, "And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?

""I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused.

"Roaring with laughter, the official said, "Go ahead, Father."

~~~~~~~~

WHERE DO RED-HEADED BABIES COME FROM?????

After their baby was born, the panicked father
went to see the Obstetrician. 'Doctor,' the man
said, 'I don't mind telling you, but I'm a little
upset because my daughter has red hair . She can't possibly be mine!!'
'Nonsense,' the doctor said'.
'Even though you and your wife both have black
hair, one of your ancestors may have contributed red hair to the gene pool.''It isn't possible,' the man insisted.'This can't be, our families on both sides had jet-black hair for generations.''Well,' said the doctor, 'let me ask you this. How often do you have sex??? '
The man seemed a bit ashamed. 'I've been working very hard for the past year .
We only made love once or twice every few months.' 'Well, there you have it!' The doctor said confidently.
'It's rust !'

~~~~~~~~~

Golfer At The Dentist

Golfer at the dentist:
A man and his wife walked into a dentist's office.
The man said to the dentist, 'Doc, I'm in a big hurry.
I have two buddies sitting out in my car
waiting for us to go play golf, so forget about the
anesthetic and just pull the tooth and be done with it.
We have a 10:00 AM tee time at the best golf course
in town and it's 9:30 already. I don't have time to wait
for the anesthetic to work!'
The dentist thought to himself, 'My goodness, this is
surely a very brave man asking to have his tooth pulled
without using anything to kill the pain.'
So the dentist asks him, 'Which tooth is it, sir?
The man turned to his wife and said, 'Open your
mouth, Honey, and show him.'

`~~~~~`

****A day without a smile is like a day without sunshine!****

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11 Comments:

Blogger Gramma Ann said...

Awww! the story about the doggies for sale was so sweet. And it's true, where there's love nothing else matters.

My daughter had send me the joke about the Redhead in an e-mail a few months ago, because my other daughter and I were discussing who can have redheaded children. I thought only one side of the family had to have ancestors with red hair but found out it has to be somewhere in both sides of the families ancestors. At least I think that's what they convinced me, but, I am easily confused. ;)

Have a nice week!

November 24, 2008 4:20 am  
Blogger Lady Di Tn said...

Jen
Always wondered about red heads. Lol. I enjoyed the Harry joke in the previous post. Had to hear you had success in the lawn bowls. Keep cool. Peace

November 24, 2008 5:36 am  
Blogger bigbikerbob said...

Hi Jen, I liked the puppy and the little boy story a lot.

November 24, 2008 9:32 am  
Blogger raccoonlover1963 said...

G'day Jen. I love the one about the red-headed babies. Too funny!!!
Have a great week.
Lisa

November 24, 2008 5:31 pm  
Blogger Merle said...

G'day Dear Jan ~~ Great jokes and the story of the farmer and the puppies is a nice one. My gazebo is finished, but am waiting to find a nice table and chairs.I will pur a pic on tomorrow.Unfortunately Vicki is getting worse, not better. I suggested a new set of doctors, and Peter also thinks that. She needs help, and fast. Take care, Love, Merle.

November 24, 2008 7:17 pm  
Blogger Hootin' Anni said...

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh, I'm still typing through tears. I do love that puppy story!

Hope your week is a super one Jen!!!

November 24, 2008 11:41 pm  
OpenID char72 said...

Thanks for the laughter and the tears.
Have a happy week.
Hugs,
Charlotte

The tooth pulling thing reminded me of a friend who has since passed away. He told us how he had a tooth that was hurting so badly that he took the pliers and pulled it out himself. Ouch.

November 25, 2008 3:58 am  
Blogger Diane@Diane's Place said...

I liked the last story best, Jen. What a hoot!

Hope you're having a good week! :o)

Love and hugs,

Diane

November 25, 2008 5:21 pm  
Blogger Pamela said...

the puppy story made me go awwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

I loved the priest joke. I can't wait to tell my catholic friend.

November 26, 2008 2:32 pm  
Blogger Jim said...

Hey Jen. I like that dentist joke.

When I was teaching Business Law I used to tell about a rule of law requiring a written contract for certain matters. I would tell the class that even though there was a room full of Bishops as witnesses, for that kind of contract it still had to be written.
When I got to the Bishop part I would say that "Bishops don't lie, well one did in Chicago one time" and it would get a lot of laughs.
They were hurting for a joke.
..

November 27, 2008 4:20 pm  
Blogger Janice said...

Your puppy story made me cry, but then I've had a sad day and I might be a bit emotional.

Janice~

November 28, 2008 7:05 pm  

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