A Lttle laughter

G'day everyone,hope the worlds treating you all well.Not a lot happening here played Bowls couple times, and off to play at Tungamah tomorrow.
So tonight thought I would give you a break from my garden and post a few Jokes .
I hope you have a little chuckle...

GIRLS IN MY CIRCLE
When I was little, I used to believe in the concept of one best friend,And then I started to become a woman.And then I found out that if you allow your heart to open up,

God would show you the best in many friends.
One friend is needed when you're going through things with your man. Another friend is needed when you're going through things with your mom
Another will sit beside you in the bleachers as you delight in your children and their activities. Another when you want to shop, share, heal, hurt, joke, or just be.
One friend will say, 'Let's cry together,'
Another , 'Let's fight together,'
Another , 'Let's walk away together.'
One friend will meet your spiritual need,
Another your shoe fetish,
Another your love for movies, Another will be with you in your season of confusion,Another will be your clarifier,
Another the wind beneath your wings.
But whatever their assignment in your life
,On whatever the occasion,
On whatever the day,
Or wherever you need them to meet you with their gym shoes on and hair pulled back,
Or to hold you back from making a complete fool of yourself ..
Those are your best friends.
It may all be wrapped up in one woman,
But for many,
it's wrapped up in several..
One from 7th grade,
One from high school,
Several from the college years,
a couple from old jobs,
On some days your mother,
On some days your neighbour,
On others, your sisters,
And on some days, your daughters.
Those are your best friends.

~~~~~~~~~

An elderly gent

was invited to an old friend's home for dinner one evening.
He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms such as: Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc,.
The couple had been married almost 70 years and clearly, they were still very much in love. While the wife was in the kitchen, the man leaned over and said to his host, 'I think it's wonderful that, after all these years, you still call your wife those loving pet names.'

The old man hung his head. 'I have to tell you the truth,' he said, 'Her name slipped my mind about 10 years ago and I'm scared to death to ask her what it is !'.
~~~~~~~~

THE ITALIAN TOMATO GARDENER

An Old Italian man lived alone in the country he wanted to dig his tomato garden, but it was very hard work as the ground was hard. his only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison.
The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.
Dear Vincent,I am feeling pretty badly because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot, I know if you were here my troubles would be over, I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me.
Love, Dad
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
Dear Dad,Don't dig up that garden, That's where I buried the bodies. Love, Vinnie
At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies.
They apologized to the old man and left.
That same day the old man received another letter from his son.
Dear Dad,Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now.
That's the best I could do under the circumstances. Love, Vinnie
~~~~~~~

A few BLONDE jokes to end with with

AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
"Impossible!" says the doctor.
"Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more, she pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed.
Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you? "
Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said.
"Your finger is broken."
~~~~~~~
KNITTING

A patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the motorway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realising that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his loudspeaker and yelled,
"PULL OVER!"
"NO!" the blonde yelled back,
"IT'S A SCARF!"
~~~~~~~~~
!A girl

was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.

The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.

Her friend said,

"Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"

"HELLLOOOOOOO......

," answered the blonde

. "They're watch dogs!"

~~~~~~~~

IN A VACUUM

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night.

It was her turn.

She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature.

Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"

She thought for a time and then asked,

"Is it on or off?"

~~~~~~~

BLONDE LOGIC

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?" The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????"

~~~~~~~

CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a petrol station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, "What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap in the carburettor" She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"

~~~~~~~~

SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her licence. She replied in a huff, "I wish you lot would get your act together.

Just yesterday you take away my licence and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

~~~~~~~

RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk.

She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank.

"Yoo-hoo!" she shouts,

"How can I get to the other side?"

The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back,

"You ARE on the other side."

~~~~~~~

Hope you all had a little laugh

Cheers \_/ \_/