A Little Laughter

A blonde was weed-eating her yard and
Accidentally cut off the tail of her cat Which was hiding in the grass.
She rushed her cat, along with the tail over to Woolworths

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Why Woolworths?

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HELLOOOOOOOOO!?

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Woolworths is the largest re-tailer in the world!!!

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A man and a woman who had never met before, but were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a Trans-continental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly.....

He in the upper bunk and she in the lower. At 1:00 AM , the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying, 'Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold.''I have a better idea,' she replied. 'Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married.''Wow! That's a great idea!' he exclaimed. 'Good,' she replied. 'Get your own f/n blanket.

After a moment of silence, he farted.

The End

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I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes.

We decided to grab a bite at the food court.I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him.

The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red,orange, and blue.

My dad kept staring at him.

The teenager would look and find him staring every time.

When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked,"What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?"Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on hisresponse; knowing he would have a good one.

And in classic style he did not bat an eye in his response.

"Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock.

I was just wondering if you were my son."

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A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller.

He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.

'Miss Whack, I'd like to get a £30,000 loan to take a holiday

.' Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name.

The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager

.Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral. The frog says, 'Sure.

I have this,' and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, 'There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow £30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral.'She holds up the tiny pink elephant.

'I mean, what in the world is this?' (you're gonna love this)The bank manager looks back at her and says...

'It's a knickknack, Patty Whack.

Give the frog a loan, His old man's a Rolling Stone.

'(You're singing it, aren't you? Yeah, I know you are.........)

Never take life too seriously!

Come on now, you grinned,

I know you did!!!

Have a lovely day