Friday, April 18, 2008

A Little Laughter


A blonde was weed-eating her yard and
Accidentally cut off the tail of her cat Which was hiding in the grass.
She rushed her cat, along with the tail over to Woolworths
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Why Woolworths?
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HELLOOOOOOOOO!?
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Woolworths is the largest re-tailer in the world!!!

~~~~~~~~

A man and a woman who had never met before, but were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a Trans-continental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly.....
He in the upper bunk and she in the lower. At 1:00 AM , the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying, 'Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold.''I have a better idea,' she replied. 'Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married.''Wow! That's a great idea!' he exclaimed. 'Good,' she replied. 'Get your own f/n blanket.
After a moment of silence, he farted.

The End

~~~~~~
I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes.
We decided to grab a bite at the food court.I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him.
The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red,orange, and blue.
My dad kept staring at him.
The teenager would look and find him staring every time.
When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked,"What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?"Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on hisresponse; knowing he would have a good one.
And in classic style he did not bat an eye in his response.
"Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock.


I was just wondering if you were my son."

~~~~~~~~~~~


A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller.

He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.

'Miss Whack, I'd like to get a £30,000 loan to take a holiday

.' Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name.

The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager

.Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral. The frog says, 'Sure.

I have this,' and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, 'There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow £30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral.'She holds up the tiny pink elephant.

'I mean, what in the world is this?' (you're gonna love this)The bank manager looks back at her and says...

'It's a knickknack, Patty Whack.

Give the frog a loan, His old man's a Rolling Stone.

'(You're singing it, aren't you? Yeah, I know you are.........)


Never take life too seriously!

Come on now, you grinned,

I know you did!!!

Have a lovely day

Labels:

11 Comments:

Blogger Pamela said...

snort.
give the frog a loan.

the tune is in my head now.

April 19, 2008 6:50 am  
Blogger Heart of Rachel said...

Hi Jen. Re-tailer ... good one.

Thanks for the laughs. Happy weekend!

April 20, 2008 12:53 am  
Blogger Gina E. said...

Can't find an email link for you, so have to post here: what are you doing still up at this hour of the morning? Can't sleep?? LOL! You can chat to me on my email gandkwil@hotmail.com
Cheers
Gina

April 20, 2008 1:09 am  
Blogger Lady Di Tn said...

Very funny, my girl. Kickknack Patty Whack. and yes I did sing along.
Peace

April 20, 2008 12:42 pm  
Blogger Merle said...

Hi Dear Jan ~~ Great jokes - loved them all.Thanks so much for your comments and the news about Vick is good and I hope the medication fixes up her problems. Cushings sounded terrible. Glad you enjoyed Grandma got swallowed by her computer and the other jokes. Don't worry tto much about commenting while you have visitors. Hi to Ron and Irene.
Take care, Love, Merle.

April 20, 2008 4:11 pm  
Blogger Peter said...

Hi Jan, just starting to catch up with a few blogs, they have got away from me while Vicki has been my main focus but its good to catch up with old friends too.
Thank you for your prayers/good wishes, Vicki & family and myself have taken great comfort in the warmth you have offered.

April 20, 2008 5:57 pm  
Blogger Janice said...

Hi Jeanette,

Loved the frog joke, my daughter is still laughing over that one.

Janice~

April 21, 2008 2:54 pm  
Blogger Gwen said...

Hi Mate.
You are becoming the joker,I loved them all especially the couple on the train.
See you soon xoxo

April 22, 2008 11:10 am  
Blogger Diane J. said...

Hee hee! Good ones, Jen, especially the couple on the train and the frog joke. ;o)

Hope you're having a good week!

Hugs,

Diane

April 22, 2008 5:57 pm  
Blogger Hootin' Anni said...

rofl...Jen, Jen....I love 'em. I seriously love to laugh too. Not just grin, but laugh...laugh loud and hardily.

The cat joke. too funny.
The couple on the train...I can relate.

Have a great time with your guests.

April 22, 2008 10:09 pm  
Blogger bigbikerbob said...

Hi Jen, Loved the jokes especially the cat one,Off again in the morning, love to you and the family.

April 25, 2008 3:52 am  

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