A FEW JOKES

Hi everyone, .Not a lot to report today .had a quiet few days ,Monday went shopping ,Monday evening played carpet bowls, Tuesday played lawn bowls and today played pennant indoor Carpet bowls.

And now to acknowledge couple of awards I recieved.

I Want to thank Jim for this award I appreciate it very much.

This award was created by Teach of Work of the Poet

Light gives of itself freely, filling available space. It does not seek anything in return; it asks not whether you are friend or foe. It gives of itself and is not there-fore diminished." I think this award is to honor someone filled and radiating with compassion, concern and good.
Now I must pass this award on.

My dear friends : Gwen @ Gwen's Den

Merle @ 3rd Try - Merle

Anni @ Hootin' Anni

Rachel @Heart of Rachel

Bob @UK Bob - Estate Gardner

Gattina @ Writer Cramps

Pea @ Pea's Corner

I cant list you all so all my friends please feel free to use both awards

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I also would like to thank Anni from Hootin'anni's

for this award Im pleased ewe think I rock..

I also would like to pass this award on to

Bob@ Big Biker Bob

Connie @ Meow -Connie

Peggy @ Hidden Haven Homestead
Gina @Patra's Other Place

Alice @ Tea in my Cup.

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Now a couple jokes

The Church Gossip
Mildred, the church gossip in a small town, and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Several members did not approve of her extra curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence.
She made a mistake, however, when she accused George, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon.
She emphatically told George (and several others) that everyone seeing it there would know what he was doing.
George, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away.
He didn't explain, defend, or deny.
He said nothing.
Later that evening, George quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred's house . . . walked home . . . and left it there all night.
My friends You gotta love George!

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John B, a Dublin University student, was on the side of the road hitchhiking on a very dark night and in the midst of a storm.
The night was rolling on and no car went by.
The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him.
Suddenly, he saw a car slowly coming towards him and stopped.
John, desperate for shelter and without thinking about it, got into the car and closed the door, only to realize there was nobody behind the wheel and the engine wasn't on!!
The car started moving slowly.
John looked at the road ahead and saw a curve approaching.
Scared, he started to pray, begging for his life.
Then just before the car hit the curve, a hand appeared through the window and turned the wheel.
John, paralyzed with terror, watched as the hand repeatedly came through the window, but never touched or harmed him.
Shortly there after John saw the lights of a pub appear down the road, so, gathering strength, he jumped out of the car and ran to it.Wet and out of breath, he rushed inside and started telling everybody about the horrible experience he had just had.
A silence enveloped the pub when everybody realized he was crying and....wasn't drunk.
Suddenly,
the door opened, and two other people walked in from the stormy night.
They, like John, were also soaked and out of breathe.
Looking around,and seeing John B. sobbing at the bar, one said to the other...'Look Paddy...there's that bloody idiot that got in the car while we were pushing it.' !!!!

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rubber gloves
Next time you use a pair of rubber gloves, you're going to smile
when you think of this:
A dentist noticed that his next patient, a little old lady, was nervous so he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his gloves.
'Do you know how they make these gloves?' he asked. 'No, I don't,' she replied. 'Well,' he spoofed, 'there's a building in Canada with a big tank of latex and workers of all hand sizes walk up to the tank, dip in their hands, let them dry, then peel off the gloves and throw them into boxes of the right size.
' She didn't crack a smile.
'Oh, well. I tried,' he thought.
But five minutes later, during a delicate portion of the procedure, she burst out laughing.
'What's so funny?' he asked .. .
. 'I was just envisioning how condoms are made!'
Gotta watch those little old ladies!
Their minds are always working

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GETTING HOME

Mick and Paddy were walking home from the pub.

Mick says to Paddy, 'I cant be bothered to walk all that way.'

'I know,' says Paddy, 'but we've no money for a cab and we've missed the last bus home.'

'We could steal a bus from the depot,' Mick suggests.

They arrive at the bus depot and Mick tells Paddy to go in and get a bus while he keeps a look-out.

After shuffling around for ages, Mick shouts, 'Paddy, what are you doing?

Have you not found one yet?'

Paddy shouts back, 'I can't find a No. 91''

'Oh Jeysus Christ, ye thick sod, take the No. 14 and we'll walk from the roundabout".

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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass

... It's about learning to dance in the RAIN! .

~~~

May your troubles be less,

Your blessings be more,

And nothing but happiness come through your door!

~~~