Thursday, April 10, 2008

A FEW JOKES

Hi everyone, .Not a lot to report today .had a quiet few days ,Monday went shopping ,Monday evening played carpet bowls, Tuesday played lawn bowls and today played pennant indoor Carpet bowls.

And now to acknowledge couple of awards I recieved.

I Want to thank Jim for this award I appreciate it very much.

This award was created by Teach of Work of the Poet

Light gives of itself freely, filling available space. It does not seek anything in return; it asks not whether you are friend or foe. It gives of itself and is not there-fore diminished." I think this award is to honor someone filled and radiating with compassion, concern and good.
Now I must pass this award on.
My dear friends : Gwen @ Gwen's Den
Anni @ Hootin' Anni
Gattina @ Writer Cramps
I cant list you all so all my friends please feel free to use both awards
^*^*^*^*^*^*^
I also would like to thank Anni from Hootin'anni's
for this award Im pleased ewe think I rock..

I also would like to pass this award on to
Connie @ Meow -Connie
Alice @ Tea in my Cup.

^*^*^*^*^*^*
Now a couple jokes
The Church Gossip
Mildred, the church gossip in a small town, and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Several members did not approve of her extra curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence.
She made a mistake, however, when she accused George, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon.
She emphatically told George (and several others) that everyone seeing it there would know what he was doing.
George, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away.
He didn't explain, defend, or deny.
He said nothing.
Later that evening, George quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred's house . . . walked home . . . and left it there all night.
My friends You gotta love George!


^*^*^*^*^*^*
John B, a Dublin University student, was on the side of the road hitchhiking on a very dark night and in the midst of a storm.
The night was rolling on and no car went by.
The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him.
Suddenly, he saw a car slowly coming towards him and stopped.
John, desperate for shelter and without thinking about it, got into the car and closed the door, only to realize there was nobody behind the wheel and the engine wasn't on!!
The car started moving slowly.
John looked at the road ahead and saw a curve approaching.
Scared, he started to pray, begging for his life.
Then just before the car hit the curve, a hand appeared through the window and turned the wheel.
John, paralyzed with terror, watched as the hand repeatedly came through the window, but never touched or harmed him.
Shortly there after John saw the lights of a pub appear down the road, so, gathering strength, he jumped out of the car and ran to it.Wet and out of breath, he rushed inside and started telling everybody about the horrible experience he had just had.
A silence enveloped the pub when everybody realized he was crying and....wasn't drunk.
Suddenly,
the door opened, and two other people walked in from the stormy night.
They, like John, were also soaked and out of breathe.
Looking around,and seeing John B. sobbing at the bar, one said to the other...'Look Paddy...there's that bloody idiot that got in the car while we were pushing it.' !!!!

^*^*^*^*^*^*
rubber gloves
Next time you use a pair of rubber gloves, you're going to smile
when you think of this:

A dentist noticed that his next patient, a little old lady, was nervous so he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his gloves.
'Do you know how they make these gloves?' he asked. 'No, I don't,' she replied. 'Well,' he spoofed, 'there's a building in Canada with a big tank of latex and workers of all hand sizes walk up to the tank, dip in their hands, let them dry, then peel off the gloves and throw them into boxes of the right size.
' She didn't crack a smile.
'Oh, well. I tried,' he thought.
But five minutes later, during a delicate portion of the procedure, she burst out laughing.
'What's so funny?' he asked .. .
. 'I was just envisioning how condoms are made!'
Gotta watch those little old ladies!
Their minds are always working

^*^*^*^*^*^*
GETTING HOME
Mick and Paddy were walking home from the pub.
Mick says to Paddy, 'I cant be bothered to walk all that way.'
'I know,' says Paddy, 'but we've no money for a cab and we've missed the last bus home.'
'We could steal a bus from the depot,' Mick suggests.
They arrive at the bus depot and Mick tells Paddy to go in and get a bus while he keeps a look-out.
After shuffling around for ages, Mick shouts, 'Paddy, what are you doing?
Have you not found one yet?'
Paddy shouts back, 'I can't find a No. 91''
'Oh Jeysus Christ, ye thick sod, take the No. 14 and we'll walk from the roundabout".
^*^*^*^*^*^*
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass
... It's about learning to dance in the RAIN! .
~~~
May your troubles be less,
Your blessings be more,
And nothing but happiness come through your door!
~~~

Labels:

12 Comments:

Blogger Pamela said...

I love George .... my kind of guy.

April 11, 2008 12:58 am  
Blogger PEA said...

Hi Jen:-)

We're having such a beautiful sunny day here but we're supposed to get a snowstorm tomorrow...yes SNOW! Ugh! lol Let's hope it passes us by!

Congratulations on the awards, you are very deserving of them:-) Any time I'm given an award I think "they like me, they really like me"!! hehe

Omigosh, more funny jokes...this time I made sure I wasn't in the middle of drinking something! lol xox

April 11, 2008 7:09 am  
Blogger Gattina said...

Thanks for the Award ! very nice of you to have thought of me ! Tomorrow I throw a cocktail party for Mr. Gattino's birthday, so today I have to run and collect all things I have ordered. I am too lazy to prepare cold plates myself, lol !

April 11, 2008 1:47 pm  
Blogger Heart of Rachel said...

Hi Jen. That's a sweet award. Thanks for thinking of me.

You gave me good reasons to laugh today. Thanks for sharing those jokes. Take care.

April 11, 2008 1:48 pm  
Blogger Merle said...

Dear Jan ~~ Glad you were pleased with the award, and thanks for the one you gave me. Jim had already left it for me, but the thought is reakky nice. I haven't heard from Peter
directly, but he said there wouldn't be any news until about next Friday,
so like Them, we just have to wait.
Take care in your busy sporting life
Much love, Merle.

April 11, 2008 3:22 pm  
Blogger Hootin' Anni said...

Oh Jen, that's very kind of you. You know how I feel about you, and your blog. You're tops in my book. Love the rubber....errrrrr, um, glove joke! AND George? He's my kinda guy! I'd do the same dammmm thing!! rofl

Thanks for the award, and thanks for thinking of me...'tis appreciated. I'll add this with a link to your blog for Saturday.

Happy day.

April 11, 2008 9:19 pm  
Blogger Jim said...

Jan, congratulations on those awards. It isn't real easy to pick who gets them.

That is how they make rubber gloves. My niece's husband worked in a rubber glove factory.
They have hands tied to moving belt above, the belt comes to a spot lower than regularly so the hands can dip down into a tank of molten latex.
Then they come up and go a ways drying, after which it dips again. This process is repeated as the belt goes around the large room until the gloves are of the proper thickness.

They quit making gloves in that factory but they still make other things.
..

April 12, 2008 2:05 pm  
Blogger Susie said...

Hi Jan,
Congratulations on your awards!!
Loved the rubber glove joke!!
xo

April 13, 2008 1:27 pm  
Blogger Janice said...

Hi Jeanette,

That's realy nice that you got those awards.

I liked your denist joke.

Janice~

April 13, 2008 6:09 pm  
Blogger JunieRose2005 said...

Hi Jeanette,

Your jokes always make me smile! :) I especially liked the 'George' one!


Junie

April 14, 2008 12:50 am  
Blogger smilnsigh said...

Don't 'knock' quiet days! :-) Quiet days are good!!! :-)

Mari-Nanci

April 14, 2008 2:59 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Jen, Thanks for the award (my first)but there are much better ones about than mine, I'm glad you won as your blog is always a good pick up tonic on a dreary day.

April 14, 2008 4:38 am  

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