A FEW JOKES
Hi everyone, .Not a lot to report today .had a quiet few days ,Monday went shopping ,Monday evening played carpet bowls, Tuesday played lawn bowls and today played pennant indoor Carpet bowls.
I Want to thank Jim for this award I appreciate it very much.
This award was created by Teach of Work of the PoetLight gives of itself freely, filling available space. It does not seek anything in return; it asks not whether you are friend or foe. It gives of itself and is not there-fore diminished." I think this award is to honor someone filled and radiating with compassion, concern and good.
Now I must pass this award on.
Mildred, the church gossip in a small town, and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Several members did not approve of her extra curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence.
She made a mistake, however, when she accused George, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon.
She emphatically told George (and several others) that everyone seeing it there would know what he was doing.
George, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away.
He didn't explain, defend, or deny.
He said nothing.
Later that evening, George quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred's house . . . walked home . . . and left it there all night.
My friends You gotta love George!
The night was rolling on and no car went by.
The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him.
Suddenly, he saw a car slowly coming towards him and stopped.
John, desperate for shelter and without thinking about it, got into the car and closed the door, only to realize there was nobody behind the wheel and the engine wasn't on!!
The car started moving slowly.
John looked at the road ahead and saw a curve approaching.
Scared, he started to pray, begging for his life.
Then just before the car hit the curve, a hand appeared through the window and turned the wheel.
John, paralyzed with terror, watched as the hand repeatedly came through the window, but never touched or harmed him.
Shortly there after John saw the lights of a pub appear down the road, so, gathering strength, he jumped out of the car and ran to it.Wet and out of breath, he rushed inside and started telling everybody about the horrible experience he had just had.
A silence enveloped the pub when everybody realized he was crying and....wasn't drunk.
the door opened, and two other people walked in from the stormy night.
They, like John, were also soaked and out of breathe.
Looking around,and seeing John B. sobbing at the bar, one said to the other...'Look Paddy...there's that bloody idiot that got in the car while we were pushing it.' !!!!
Next time you use a pair of rubber gloves, you're going to smile
when you think of this:
A dentist noticed that his next patient, a little old lady, was nervous so he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his gloves.
'Do you know how they make these gloves?' he asked. 'No, I don't,' she replied. 'Well,' he spoofed, 'there's a building in Canada with a big tank of latex and workers of all hand sizes walk up to the tank, dip in their hands, let them dry, then peel off the gloves and throw them into boxes of the right size.
' She didn't crack a smile.
'Oh, well. I tried,' he thought.
But five minutes later, during a delicate portion of the procedure, she burst out laughing.
'What's so funny?' he asked .. .
. 'I was just envisioning how condoms are made!'
Gotta watch those little old ladies!
Their minds are always working
Labels: Humour - awards