Monday, October 22, 2007

A Lttle more humour

Hi everyone, im hoping to get my computer back by the weekend all going well! We have had a warm few days was 37c = 98f yesterday and I spent the day in the garden do a little weeding switching a few pots about and finished up repotting a few of my orchids took a few photos but will keep them till i get my computer back... today was 36c, I went to visit my sister,a little later visited a sick friend,then recieved a phone call to ask me to bowl (Indoor carpet) tonight and of course I said yes, We our team were runners up tonight, tomorrow the air condition serviceman is comming to take cover of AC and turn it on for me... Tomorrow a cool change 25c. Im slowly making my way round to visiting you all and will visit each and everyone of you as soon as possible. Now to end with a few more jokes.

New priest in town

A priest from Ireland was assigned to a Texas diocese
One morning, Father O'Malley rose from his bed.

It was a fine spring Day in his new Texas mission parish He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside.
He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn.
He promptly called the local police station.
The conversation went like this:

Good morning, this is Sergeant Jones, how might I help you?" "And the best of the day te yerself.
This is Father O'Malley at St. Brigid's.
There's a jackass lying dead in me front lawn. Would ye be so kind as to send a couple O yer lads to take care of the matter?" Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit, replied with a smirk, "Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of last rites!" There was dead silence on the line for a long moment.
Father O'Malley then replied: "Aye, 'tis certainly true, but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin."
~~~~~~~

the intercom
A jumbo jet is just coming into the Vancouver Airport on its final approach.
The pilot comes on the intercom,"This is Captain Scott. We're on our final descent into Vancouver.I want to thank you for flying with us today and I hope you enjoy your stay in Vancouver"
He forgets to switch off the intercom.
Now the whole plane can hear his conversation from the cockpit.
The co pilot says to the pilot, "Well, skipper, watcha gonna do in Vancouver?""Well," says the skipper, "first I'm gonna check into the hotel and take a big crap.... then I'm gonna take that new stewardess with the huge tits out for dinner..... then I'm gonna wine and dine her, take her back to my room and put it to her big time all night
."Everyone on the plane hears this and immediately begins looking up and down the aisle trying to get a look at the new stewardess.
Meanwhile the new stewardess is at the very back of the plane.
She's so embarrassed that she starts to run to try and get to the cockpit to turn the intercom off.
Halfway down the aisle, she trips over an old lady's bag and down she goes.
The old lady leans over and says: "No need to hurry, dear. He's gotta take a Poop first."*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wife from Hell
A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, " I
Clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir."
The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60,
Perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating."
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be
Silly dear, you know this car doesn't have cruise control."
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at
His wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?"
The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your
Radar detector went off when it did."
As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar
Detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched
Teeth. "Damnit, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"
The officer frowns and says, "And I notice you're not
Wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."
The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but
Took it off when you pulled me over so I could get my license out of my
Back pocket."
The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well you didn't
Have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're
Driving."
And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the
Driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??"
The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always
Talk to you this way, Ma'am?"
I love this part....
"Only when he's been drinking."
~~~~~```
Experience is the father of wisdom. ----Anonymous

The grand essentials in this life are something to do,

something to love, and something to hope for. ----Addison

From a little spark may burst a mighty flame.

Dante Asking costs little. ----Italian Proverb

A good laugh is sunshine in a house. ----Thackery

Think not those faithful who praise all thy words and actions, but those who kindly reprove thy faults.---- Socrates

Labels:

27 Comments:

Blogger Merle said...

Hi Jan ~~ I enjoyed your new post and the jokes were good, I think the pilot won tonight and the wife of the car driver was funny also. Hope you get your computer back in the next couple of days. You won't know yourself. Glad you liked the Crabby old Man and the jokes. Take care, my
friend, Love, Merle.

October 24, 2007 12:48 am  
Blogger UKBob said...

Hi Jeanette, I'm glad to see you're enjoying the bowls. To answer your question about someone pinching the leaf mould from the woods. The useful thing Dick Dastardly (the gamekeeper) does is keep people away so the answer is no one pinches the leaf mould. I'll tell you something now, when I asked my boss last year if I could put the leaves in the woods he said for me to go see if it was okay with Dick Dastardly, it seems like even the owner is afraid of him!!!

October 24, 2007 7:34 am  
Blogger Donnak said...

I hope you get your computer back soon. :)

I promise this isn’t one of those ‘check in with you and leave for several months’ kind of things. Yahoo is supposedly deleting the 360 blogging forum and I’m trying to get all my blogs off of there before they do. I’m here and will be blogging as soon as I get my stuff off of yahoo.

Hope you are doing well.

October 24, 2007 7:49 am  
Blogger PEA said...

Hello dear Jan:-) Fingers crossed that you get your computer by the weekend, you've been missed!! Your temperatures have certainly climbed up there pretty fast...ours is getting colder, supposed to be -2C tonight!! Only went up to 9c today. Loved the jokes, still giggling over the wife from hell! LOL xoxo

October 24, 2007 8:23 am  
Blogger Susie said...

Hi Jen,
You must really miss your computer.
Loved the stewardess joke!
Thanks for the kind words about my Grandpa.
xo

October 24, 2007 12:34 pm  
Blogger Pamela said...

I forwarded the intercom one to my brother. He always loves a good pooh joke.

October 24, 2007 3:29 pm  
Blogger Val said...

Hah hah! Loved the one about the pilot and the intercom. I'm going to send that to Dad, he's a retired pilot...

October 24, 2007 8:38 pm  
Blogger Jim said...

Hi Jeanette -- I too hope you get your computer back, REAL SOON.
Thank you for the blog visiting you do. It means a lot to me.

Everything you put here was great! The last post I must have left without commenting.
I had wanted to tell you that my son, Tim, brushes his teeth while driving. He doesn't brush until he gets to use his car. First time watchers are mortified.

Until you get your computer back, paste this link, print the cartoon out, and carry the print around. It has a good idea of how to do without.

http://bp2.blogger.com/_aOZEGRAw2Q8/Rx945Rz4EII/AAAAAAAAAp0/lHl4I7_rxIQ/s1600-h/95-TheQuigmansVerbalBlogging.jpg

Cheers,
..

October 25, 2007 3:30 am  
Blogger RUTH said...

Glad you'll soon have your computer back and will look forward to your photos. Starting to get quite chilly here...a really thick frost the other day so will be happy to pop over to your blog for a warm up! Graet jokes.
Rx

October 25, 2007 3:35 am  
Blogger Gledwood said...

Bloody hell they've taken long enough with that computer of yours... are they plating it with gold? Long may it live-on healthily 4everafter (1ce you do get it back)!!

Take care!

Gleds
xx

October 25, 2007 9:23 am  
Blogger Puss-in-Boots said...

Hi Jen

I only had my computer down for four days and it drove me nuts! But yours is taking ages...

Hope you get it back soon.

Hugs

October 25, 2007 8:07 pm  
Blogger Merle said...

Hi again Jan ~~ Thank you for your comments about my Sweet Peas, jokes etc. I cheated and out seedlings in.
Everyone seems to like the Computer swallowed Grandma. I enjoyed the first computer class and look forward to the next 9 weeks. Take care, my friend, Love, Merle.

October 25, 2007 10:30 pm  
Blogger Cazz said...

Hey Mum,

Bloody hell you still havent got it back .. AHH but Joe is doing the repairs, it might be around xmas before you see it again!!!!!Did you consider buying a new one and use the other as the spare, dump the dinosaur!!!
Yeah, the weather has certainly warmed up quickly, off to Melb on w/e, have a wedding on Saturday at the Blackrock Yacht Club, so I'm hoping it will be a nice and sunny day, especially as Im wearing a strapless dress !!! Will catch up soon, but nothing much happening this end.
Love
Cazz
xxooxx

October 26, 2007 1:40 pm  
Blogger Merle said...

Hi again Jan ~~ Hope you get that computer back either tonight or the weekend. Glad you enjoyed the deer and snail story and the jokes. We got about a mm of rain yesterday
but got over half an inch this arvo.
Beautiful and will make everything
look better. Take care, Love, Merle.

October 26, 2007 10:08 pm  
Blogger LZ Blogger said...

Jen ~ LOVED the pilot joke! ~ jb///

October 26, 2007 11:17 pm  
Blogger JunieRose2005 said...

:) Hi Jan,


Those jokes were all very funny- especially the first one.


Thanks for visiting me during my computer troubles! I appreciate it !

Take care,

Junie

October 27, 2007 1:38 am  
Blogger Merle said...

Hi Jan ~~ Thanks for your comments. I love Daylight Savings Time too.
Maybe not in the morning tomorrow.
Glad you enjoyed the jokes - the blonde guy won easy last night.
Take care, Love, Merle.

October 27, 2007 10:27 pm  
Blogger Hootin'Anni said...

OMG!!!! The Irish priest and the driver were both so funny.

Thanks for the laughs. [It's nearing 90F here too, and it's Autumn!!!]

Glad to hear that you are going to get your computer back soon.

Happy weekend.

October 27, 2007 11:08 pm  
Blogger Gledwood said...

Hey if your computer don't come back soon I know someone who's an expert in making computer repair personnel wax voodoo dolls...

("Lol"!)

Hey if you want to do my Meme Thing, just tell me who was your Favourite Childhood Bear?

October 28, 2007 12:13 am  
Blogger Peggy said...

love the jokes!

October 28, 2007 12:33 am  
Blogger Janice said...

Hi Jeanette,

I'm sorry you still don't have your computer back as yet. I know I didn't know what to do with myself until I got mine back from being repaired.

Take care,
Janice~

October 28, 2007 6:24 pm  
Blogger UKBob said...

Hi Jeanette, I'm sorry to say that I didn't add to my account of the West Highland Way yet, I have to confess to being terribly lazy today so it's slapped wrists all round for me I'm afraid. I promise to post some more tomorrow though. Bob.

October 29, 2007 6:53 am  
Blogger Sonia said...

LOL! Love the jokes!
Just dropping by to say hello and wishing a good week ahead!

Thanks for your visiting and nice comment!

October 29, 2007 9:49 pm  
Blogger Margaret said...

Hi Jan Hope you do have your computer back by now, Really enjoyed the jokes as usual
Hugs Margaret

October 29, 2007 10:40 pm  
Blogger Raggedy said...

I am late arriving to your post.
I hope you got your AC fixed.
Fantastic post!
Still laughing here....
Thanks.
Have a wonderful day!
*^_^
(=':'=) hugs
(")_ (")Š from
the Cool Raggedy one

October 30, 2007 12:29 am  
Blogger Renae said...

Funny funny jokes, LOL !! Sounds like you were having some hot weather. We are cooled down quite a bit now. The ground isn't completly frozen yet. We did have a little bit of snow come down on saturday. But the ground and the air was not cold enough for it to stick around. The tree's are bare now. I have a lot of raking to do after a big wind storm we had.

Take care, and hopefully you get your computer back real soon. Cheers !!

October 30, 2007 3:42 am  
Blogger Gledwood said...

Bloody hell Jeanette STILL no computer: you wanna take a burly Aussie bloke down there to punch them computer shop people's lights out!

October 30, 2007 10:03 am  

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