A Little more Senior Citizen Merriment Tonight Folk

A 5-year-old boy went to visit his grandmother one day.
Playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting, he looked up and said, "Grandma, how come you don't have a boyfriend now that Grandpa went to heaven?"
Grandma replied, "Honey, my TV is my boyfriend.
I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day long.
the religious programs make me feel good and the comedies make me laugh.
I'm happy with my TV as my boyfriend."
Grandma turned on the TV, and the reception was terrible.
She started adjusting the knobs, trying to get the picture in focus.

Frustrated, she started hitting the backside of the TV hoping to fix the problem.
The little boy heard the doorbell ring, so he hurried to open the door, and there stood Grandma's minister.
The minister said, "Hello, son, is your Grandma home?"
The little boy replied, "Yeah, she's in the bedroom bangin' her boyfriend."
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Two very elderly friends

Max and Wally, met in the park every day to
feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems. One
day Wally didn't show up. Max didn't think much about it, figured maybe
he had a cold or some such.
But after Wally hadn't shown up for a week or so Max really got
worried. However, the only time they ever got together anymore (they
used to play a lot of golf together) was at the park, and Max couldn't
remember where Wally lived so he was unable to find out what had
happened to him.
A month passed and Max figured Old Wally had gone to his heavenly
reward, but one day Max approached the park and, lo and behold, there
sat Wally! Max was very excited and happy to see him and told him so!
Then he said, "For crying out loud Wally, what happened to you???"
Wally replied, "I have been in jail."
"Jail???," cried Max!! "What in the world for???"
"Well," Wally said, "You know Sue, that cute little blonde waitress at
the coffee shop where we sometimes get coffee?"
"Yeah" said MAX, "I remember her. What about her?"
"Well one day last month she got mad at me and to get even, she charged
me with rape. I was so proud of what everyone would think an old guy like me could still do, that when I got into court, I pled 'Guilty.'
The judge took a good look at me and gave me 30 days for perjury."
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The Dolls

A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years.
They had shared everything.
They had talked about everything.
They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.
For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover. In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside.
She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box.
When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totaling $95,000.
He asked her about the contents. "When we were to be married," she said, "my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue.
She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll.
" The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears.
Only two precious dolls were in the box.
She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving.
He almost burst with happiness. "Honey," he said, "that explains the doll, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?" "Oh," she said, "that's the money I made from selling the dolls."
Women will love this..
A Prayer
Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods;
Because Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
And I don't know how to crochet. Amen!

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Grandmas are moms with lots of frosting. ~Author Unknown

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What a bargain grandchildren are! I give them my loose change, and they
give me a million dollars' worth of pleasure. ~Gene Perret *

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Grandmothers are just "antique" little girls. ~Author Unknown *

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Perfect love sometimes does not come until the first grandchild.

~Welsh Proverb *

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A grandmother is a babysitter who watches the kids instead of the
> television. ~Author Unknown *

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Never have children, only grandchildren. ~Gore Vidal

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