Friday, August 03, 2007

A Little Humour Tonight

A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop.
the new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, "OK old timer, time for you to retire.
"The old rooster replies, "Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL of these hens.
Look what it has done to me.
Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?"
The young rooster says, "Beat it! You are washed up and I am taking over.."
The old rooster says, "I tell you what, young stud. I will race you around the farmhouse.

Who ever wins gets exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop."
The young rooster laughs. "You know you don't stand a chance, old man. So, just to be fair, I will give you a head start."
The old rooster takes off running.

About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him.
They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap.
He is only about 5 feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast.
The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch when he sees the roosters go running by. He grabs his shotgun and - BOOM - he blows the young rooster to bits.
The farmer sadly shakes his head and says, "Damn.....third gay rooster I bought this month."
Moral of this story?

.1) You don't get old being a fool!
2) Age, skill, and treachery will always overcome youth and arrogance!
3) Don't mess with OLD TIMERS!
A dumb blonde died and went to Heaven. When she got to the Pearly Gates, she met Saint Peter who said, "Before you get to come into Heaven, you have to pass a test."
"OH, NO!" exclaimed the blonde.
But Saint Peter said not to worry, because he would make it an easy test. "Who was God's son?" asked Saint Peter.
The dumb blonde thought for a few minutes and replied, "Andy."
"Andy? That's interesting. What made you say that?" inquired Saint Peter.
Then the blonde started to sing, "Andy walks with me. Andy talks with me. Andy tells me..."


A fireman is at the station house working outside on the fire truck when he notices little Johnny next door. Little Johnny is in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the side. He is wearing a fireman's hat and has the wagon tied to a dog. The fireman says "Hey little boy. What are you doing?" Little Johnny says "I'm pretending to be a fireman and this is my fire truck!" The fireman walks over to take a closer look. "Little boy, that sure is a nice fire truck!" the fireman says. "Thanks mister", says little Johnny. The fireman looks a little closer and notices little Johnny has tied the dog to the wagon by its testicles. "Son", says the fireman, "I don't want to tell you how to run your fire truck, but if you were to tie that rope around the dog's neck I think you could go faster." Little Johnny says, "You're probably right mister, but then I wouldn't have a siren
Living on Earth is expensive,
but it does include a free trip
around the sun every year.
How long a minute is
depends on what side of the
bathroom door you're on.
Birthdays are good for you;
the more you have,
the longer you live.
Happiness comes through doors you
didn't even know you left open.
Ever notice that the people who are late
are often much jollier
than the people who have to wait for them?



Blogger Kali said...

Good evening Ms Jen!
I've loved catching up with all your news and great pictures of family and friends.
Happy belated birthday wishes to your lovely grand daughter, 21 already!
The jokes are always a laugh.
Hope you're having a good night and that you have a fab weekend.
Take care, Kali

August 03, 2007 10:50 pm  
Blogger Anita said...

G'Day Jeanette!

I hope you are doing fine today! It's YOUR day today, you are more than welcome to pass by my blog as soon as you can, there's a surprise waiting for you, especially for YOU! ;-))

You are one of the winners of my seed give-away! Congratulations!

Best wishes from Germany,

August 04, 2007 12:45 am  
Blogger Merle said...

Dear Jan ~~ Great post, good jokes and some great sayings. I hope you are feeling fine again and lost your cough. Thanks for your comments, glad you enjoyed. Much love, Merle.

August 04, 2007 1:20 am  
Blogger Renae said...

Hello Jeanette!!! My computer modem died on me so I'v been without internet until they send me a new modem. Should be today,(Friday) for me anyway. I'm at work and had to read out loud those jokes!!! LOL !!! Way to funny!! Thank you for sharing. Anyway, take care and be Blessed!!!

August 04, 2007 4:23 am  
Blogger Gretchen said...

Thanks for the laugh! I was feeling pretty down.

August 04, 2007 5:55 am  
Blogger PEA said...

Now you've got me Gotta love Little Johnny but everything he says or does, makes sense! hehe xox

August 04, 2007 10:10 am  
Blogger JunieRose2005 said...


:) jokes were so funny!I liked the one about the roosters best!


August 04, 2007 12:56 pm  
Blogger Pamela said...

That last one... I detest waiting for people.

My hubby is a retired firefighter - so I'll make sure he hears the dog one.

August 04, 2007 6:17 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A funny bunch of humor. I enjoyed to crafty old rooster.

August 04, 2007 7:52 pm  
Blogger Penless Thoughts said...

Are you as excited about winning Anita's seed give away as I am? I was also one of the winners and am so excited!

August 04, 2007 9:39 pm  
Blogger Meow (aka Connie) said...

Hey Jeanette, love the jokes ... that Little Johnny gets up to a load of mischief always, doesn't he !!!
Hope you are having a fabulous weekend.
Take care, Meow

August 04, 2007 9:58 pm  
Blogger Gledwood said...

Is Rolf Harris famous Down Under?

He is very well known here for his "wobble board" thing. Which makes a noise like if you swiggled a very flexible soar back and foarth.. know what i mean?

sorry i cannot explain much better i am so hungry i have to go make pasta in a sec

rooster..! yes!

right, when i was in india for about 5 weeks i saw a massive one

you would not have wanted to tangle with this bird

he looked ENORMOUS!

and from him i got the meaning of that expression RULES THE ROOST bc he MOST CERTAINLY DID!!

hope all's fine with you!!

August 05, 2007 7:46 am  
Blogger Val said...

Hee hee, love the gay rooster joke!

August 05, 2007 2:39 pm  
Blogger Melinda said...

Hi Jeanette.

Love the Jokes and all the cute graphics that go with them. Hope you are having a great weekend, shame it is almost over for those of us in the land of OZ.

Take Care - Smiles - Melinda

August 05, 2007 4:07 pm  
Blogger RUTH said...

Great jokes Jen. Hope you're having a fabulous weekend. Just heard we are having our hottest day of the year so far here in the UK...Yippee!!!

August 05, 2007 5:39 pm  
Blogger Merle said...

Hi again Jan ~~ Thanks for your comments. Go ahead and post you Bird of Paradise flower - it may be better and we have a few different readers.
The baby pickpocket was funny. Take care, Love, Merle.

August 05, 2007 6:07 pm  
Blogger Gina E. said...

ROFLMAO Jeanette! Whether I've heard/read them or not, they always seem funnier when I find them here!
Thanks for visiting Patra's Other Place - glad you liked our visitors!

August 05, 2007 7:06 pm  
Blogger Anita said...

Hi Jeanette!

Did you already sent me a mail with your address for the seeds yo won? I hope it did not end in my spam filter and was deleted....

Best wishes from HOT & SUNNY Germany,

August 06, 2007 1:30 am  
Blogger Gattina said...

Hello from the english coast! It's a beautiful place here with all the old english houses and castles !

August 06, 2007 5:15 pm  
Anonymous Hootin' Anni said...

LOL from me on the siren! Too funny. And the blond in heaven is a good one too.

August 07, 2007 1:19 am  

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