Monday, April 30, 2007

A Lttle more humour

On the Farm
Mike and his pregnant wife live on a farm in the distant rural regions.
No running water, no electricity, etc.
One night, Mikes' wife is begins to deliver the baby.
The local doctor is there in attendance.
"What d'ya want me to do, Doctor?" "Hold the lantern, Mikey.
Here it comes!" the doctor delivers the child and holds it up for the proud father to see.
"Mike, you're the proud father of a fine strapping boy." "Saints be praised, I..." Before Mike can finish the Doctor interrupts, "Wait a minute.
Hold the lantern, Mikey." Soon the doctor delivers the next child.
"You've a full set now, Mikey. A beautiful baby daughter."
"Thanks be to..." Again the Doctor cuts in, "Hold the lantern, Mikey, Hold the lantern!" Soon the Doctor delivers a third child.
The doctor holds up the baby for Mike's inspection.
"Doctor," asks Mike, "Do you think it's the light that's attracting them?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Littlle Johnny


Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the ten most wanted criminals.
One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person.
"Yes," said the policeman. "The detectives want very badly to capture him."
Little Johnny asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

The minister had just had all of his remaining teeth pulled and new
dentures were being made.
The first Sunday after the surgery, he only preached for 10 minutes. The
second Sunday, he preached only 20 minutes. But, on the third Sunday he
preached for 1 hour 25 minutes. When asked about this by some of the
congregation, he responded this way: "The first Sunday, my gums were so
sore it hurt to talk. The second
Sunday, my dentures were hurting a lot. The third Sunday, I accidentally
grabbed my wife's dentures and I couldn't stop talking!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~``

THE PENSIONERS
An old couple go to a doctor and ask him to watch them have sex and tell if he see's them doing anything wrong. So they have sex. While they are getting dressed the doctor said, "Well I don't see anything wrong!" A week later they come again and ask the doctor to watch to see if they are doing anything wrong. They have sex and the doctor says, "Well again I don't see anything wrong." This goes on for weeks. Then the doctor asks why they keep coming.The guy said: "If we go to her house her husband will catch us. If we go to my house my wife will catch us. A hotel costs fifty bucks. Here it's thirty-five dollars and medicare pays half!"

18 Comments:

Blogger Gattina said...

He, he, the last joke reminds me of a "friend" who with 71 just took a new lover (she is free since years) !! She just behaves like a teenager, even worse ! Everybody laughs about her, but she is happy ! why not then. Lovesickness at my age, no thank you.

April 30, 2007 12:33 am  
Blogger PEA said...

Oh Jen...LOL...that first one really cracked me up!!! Thank you so much for making me laugh today, I needed that:-) xox

April 30, 2007 1:43 am  
Blogger Susie said...

That first joke was the best!! Too funny...
:)

April 30, 2007 2:23 am  
Blogger Pamela said...

that first one gets recycled -- I heard it first as a poor Irishman.

The preacher one is brand new to me

April 30, 2007 6:21 am  
Anonymous gledwood said...

"LOL"! I love the dentures joke ... I might be wearing dentures b4 long ... Came to you via Ruth, btw ...

April 30, 2007 10:08 am  
Blogger Jim said...

Hi Jeanette, thanks for making the rounds. I hope you keep on feeling better and better.
Do I have to vote? I couldn't even pick the one I like the least, they are all sooooo good.
..

April 30, 2007 10:58 am  
Blogger Marc & Kristy said...

Hi jen, What can i say whenever i read a joke on or blog you make us both laugh. Keep them coming.

Marc & Kirsty

April 30, 2007 11:20 am  
Blogger Puss-in-Boots said...

Great jokes, Jeanette. Good way to start Monday!

April 30, 2007 12:10 pm  
Blogger Merle said...

Hi Jan ~~ Great jokes today and I liked the first one best also - the
light attracting the babies. Hadn't seen the Denture one before.
Thanks for a good start to the week.
Glad you enjoyed Dad's Empty Chair,
it was a tear jerker, but nice.
Take care, my friend, Love, Merle.

April 30, 2007 8:27 pm  
Blogger The Ramblin Irishman said...

So that is what brings all those little darlings into the world, they are attracted to the light. Hmmmm. You are a crackup and I love reading the jokes. Thank you for sending me a couple to use in my talk last Sunday. Be good, HA, as if that is possible.

May 01, 2007 2:53 am  
Blogger JunieRose2005 said...

LOL- Well I thought that last joke was the funniest one!! ;)


Junie

May 01, 2007 5:48 am  
Blogger Meow said...

Hahaha, brilliang jokes, Jeaneatte !!
Hope all is well.
Take care, Meow

May 01, 2007 8:00 am  
Blogger Janice said...

Hi,

Your jokes are wickedly funny, LOL.

Janice~

May 01, 2007 4:01 pm  
Blogger Penless Thoughts said...

Found you with a link from Pea. Since we're about the same age I thought I'd check you out. Glad I did!!! Cute and enjoyed your song.

May 02, 2007 11:25 pm  
Blogger Sorlil said...

ha too good, esp the pensioners one!

May 03, 2007 5:44 am  
Blogger LZ Blogger said...

I thought I was on Cliff Morrow's blog for a minute! ~ jb///

May 03, 2007 2:02 pm  
Blogger Gina E. said...

You are a genius, Jeanette - I never met anybody before you who comes up with so many jokes!!

May 04, 2007 12:26 am  
Blogger rusty in miami said...

I needed a good laugh today and your blog never disappoints. The senior joke was great

May 04, 2007 11:52 am  

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