Saturday, September 02, 2006

ON THE GREEN

HI All .. Well I played bowls on opening day and was nice to be back
on the green again.
To start the day everyone arrives early
so we sit around have a cuppa and chat before we go out to play .
then the first bowl (a bit of fun)of the season is bowled to the spider (a toy redback )56 bowlers let there bowl go at once, bowls go everywere ,with lots of laughter the nearest to the spider gets a bottle of wine . well guess what my bowl stopped on its leg so i was declared the winner.and to top that off i was in the winning team of the day so to say the least I had a good day .But very tired at the end of the day .Sorry folk I left the camera sitting on the kitchen table, so will take photo's next time i go out to play .
Now to finish of today with a couple jokes

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

TWO OLD LADIES
Two old ladies are outside their nursing"home, having a drink and a smoke,
when it starts to rain.
One of the old ladies pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over
her cigarette, and continues smoking.
Maude: "What in the hell is that?Mable: A condom.
This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Maude: Where did you get it?Mable: You can get them at any drugstore.
The next day, Maude hobbles herself into the local drugstore and
announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.
The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely
(she is after all, over 80 years of age),
but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.
"Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel."
The pharmacist fainted

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

A little boy went up to his father and asked:
"Dad, where DID all of my intelligence come from?
The father replied.
"Well son, you must have got it from your mother,

cause I still have mine"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This one was in our local paper

CYRUS SAYS:

Daddy, how was i born?

DAD says:Ah my son,I guess one day will need to find out anyway!

Well you see your Mum and I first got together in a chat room on AOl.

Then i set up a date via e-mail with your mum and we met at a cyber-cafe

WE sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download

from my hard drive.

As soon as i was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had

used a firewall, and since it was too lateto hit the delete button, nine months later

a blessed little pop-up appeared and said:

YOUVE GOT MALE!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To realize
The value of one minute:
Ask a person
Who has missed the train, bus or plane.

11 Comments:

Blogger Merle said...

Hi Jan ~~ Glad you had such a good day at Bowls and got lucky !!The jokes are
good too. Take care, Hugs, Merle.

September 03, 2006 12:18 am  
Blogger Sue said...

Glad you had a fun day Jen,
My husband and I liked the "you've got male" joke!
Thanks for sharing!
:-)

September 03, 2006 2:55 am  
Blogger Jim said...

Hi Jeanette. I have some catching up to do, it is good to be back. I think I mistook you on one of my comments. Thanks, though, I appreciate your comming.

I haven't the foggiest idea what BOWLs could be. Sure it involves getting something closest to something using some sort of athletic skill.
We (you probably do too) have horseshoses, closest to the pin--a ringer wins--with the horseshoe gets the prize.
The French have BOULE, there the closest with the little steel ball to the rubber ball wins.

Your baby pictures are quite chauvenistic.

Thanks for the more croc pictures. I don't know much about them, but think they behave similarly to our alligators. But they aren't in the same family.

Now I'm waiting for 'bowl' pictures. I will try to figure it out, maybe Google or Wikipedia.
..

September 03, 2006 7:26 am  
Blogger Janice said...

Hi Jen,

I'm not sure what "bowls" are either, but I'm glad you won.

Is a "cuppa" a cup of coffee or tea? And since I'm on the subject do Aussies ever say g'day mate, or is that only in the movies?

I liked the "you got male joke".

Janice~

September 03, 2006 5:38 pm  
Anonymous holtieshouse said...

G'day Mate, that was for Janice's benefit, a bottle of grog is a god way to start the season Jan, keep it up.

September 03, 2006 8:26 pm  
Blogger DellaB said...

G'day Janice, Pete... Jeanette,

I can't believe people don't know what BOWLS are - aren't they in for a shock!

:-)
Della

September 03, 2006 10:24 pm  
Blogger Kerri said...

Hi Jeanette,
Thanks for popping in for a visit. I'm always happy to 'meet' new blog friends. Lucky you to win a bottle of 'grog' :) And yes, I know what bowls are....these yanks over here don't have a clue :) My mom used to love to play. My dad (who lives in the Port Stephens area) played too but he just turned 90 and his back isn't all that good, so he paints now instead, and plays darts, etc.
Your crocodile post and pics is interesting. And I loved your daughter's poem...lovely! I hope all is well since the colonoscopy.
Lovely birthday pictures. Happy belated birthday!

September 04, 2006 12:52 pm  
Blogger Val said...

That joke about the two old ladies and the condom is priceless. I'm going to email it to my mother - she's over 80, heh heh!

September 04, 2006 10:02 pm  
Blogger Val said...

P.S. thanks for the tip on using shade cloth to protect washing on the clothes hoist.

September 04, 2006 10:26 pm  
Blogger Gwen said...

After reading your latest jokes i realise you have been hiding more than one hidden talent.
\\You Devil You.//
See ya mate

September 04, 2006 11:55 pm  
Blogger Motherkitty said...

G'day, Jeanette. It was good of you to pop over to my site and visit. Even though I'm a bloomin' Yankee, I would venture a guess that you were lawn bowling and that your ball came closest to the "pin." Good for you for winning. I loved your jokes. As an ex-smoker, I really appreciated the condom joke. They were all cute, risque, and brought a laugh and a smile to me on this early Monday morning. If you make my blackbird pie, let me know how it came out.

Bookmarking your site. Hope you come back and visit me again.

September 04, 2006 11:57 pm  

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