Monday, August 14, 2006

Hi Everyone .
Well another busy weekend over. friends called in on Saturday
for a few hours ,after they left went to my Daughter Donna's to stay the night
with the kids while they went out for dinner then they partied on and
stayed at Carols for the night . Also watched my football team TIGERS
beat Peters team BRISBANE LIONS . GO Tigers !!!! then up this morning
10am(Sunday) and off to indoor carpet bowls arriving back home 6pm a long day
but a great day was had by all 32 teams ....

7 reasons not to mess with children.

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing.
She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing,
the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink.
She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said,
"Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say,
'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer, ' or! 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out,
"And there's the teacher, She's dead.
" A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood.
Trying to make the matter clearer, she said,
"Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it,
and I would turn red in the face.." "Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted,"Cause your feet ain't empty."
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch.
At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.
The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
"Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note,
"Take all you want.
God is watching the apples.


Blogger Jim said...

Those are NICE, Jen.
I think it was a big fish that swallowed Jonah instead of a whale. But we all say 'whale' as that is more believable.
[Whales are mammals.]

August 14, 2006 8:02 am  
Blogger Peter said...

Hi Jan, busy weekend there, I take it from that you are well.
Kids are a constant source of material for bloggers.

August 14, 2006 11:08 am  
Blogger Merle said...

Hi Jen ~~ A busy but enjoyable time
for you. Glad you had a good time.
Did you notice Peter didn't mention the football? Thanks for your comments, we
all seem to love chocolates. I can't have very many these days. Love the kid's jokes. Clever little dears !
Take care, Love, Merle.

August 14, 2006 7:01 pm  
Blogger Meow said...

A wonderful selection of jokes. Kids are wonderful subjects of funny stories ... a never ending supply, I feel.
Hope you are well.
Take care, Meow

August 15, 2006 10:32 am  
Blogger Gwen said...

Hi Jan.
Just been to have a look i forgot how funny you can be.
Loved your jokes.

August 31, 2006 11:04 pm  

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