G'DAY EVERYONE

Another busy day over .first thing this morning off to have my 3 monthly blood tests then back home to have breakfast do a few chores ,then off again to do

food shopping and chemist to pick up medication .then back home

to greet my good friends who are staying with me for about 10 days .

then off out again this time to Doctors for pre. anaesthetic checkup all

went well for routine procedure friday .Home again its now 5.40pm time

for a couple of drinks, Brandy & dry ginger ale withfriends before

I start getting dinner ready.

Well thats my day .

Finishing off with a couple JOkes

WHAT SMELLS?

Maxine took her car to her mechanic.

She told him "Every time I take any of my friends out in my car, after a while there is this terrible smell !! .

It never happens when I am on my own" This quite intrigued the mechanic so he said, "OK, lets go for a spin and see what the problem is".

Off they went.

She drove down a one-way street in the wrong direction at 70 MPH, swerving, hitting the curb on both sides of the street, narrowly missed three pedestrians in pedestrian crossings, ran several red lights, and just missed a policeman on street traffic duty.

They returned to the shop and she said, "There it is now, there's that terrible smell.

"Can you smell it?"

"Smell it"?

Lady, I'm sittin' in it !!
#####################


Pregnant Blonde

The other day my neighbor, who is blonde, came running up to me

in the driveway just jumping for joy!

I didn't know why she was jumping for joy, but I thought, what the heck,

and I starting jumping up and down along with her.She said,

"I have some really great news!"

I said,

"Great, tell me why you're so happy."

She stopped jumping

and breathing heavily from all the jumping up and down,

told me that she was pregnant!

I knew that she had been trying for a while so I told her,

"That's

great!

I couldn't be happier for you!"

Then she said, "There's more."

I asked, "What do you mean 'more'?"

She said,

"Well, we are not having just one baby.

We are going to have TWINS!"

Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant,

I asked her how she knew.She said............................

(You're going to love this!)
V

v

v

v

v

v

v

v

v

"Well, that was the easy part.

I went to Pharmacy and they actually had a home pregnancy kit in a twin-pack.

Both tests came out positive!"

########################
I do believe this with all my heart!

MY PHILOSOPHY OF HOUSECLEANING!

I don't do windows because ...

I love birds and don't want one to run into a clean window and get hurt.

I don't wax floors because ...

I am terrified a guest will slip and get hurt then I'll feel terrible

( plus they may sue me.)

I don't mind the dust bunnies because ...

They are very good company, I have named most of them,

and they agree with everything I say.

v

I don't disturb cobwebs because ...

I want every creature to have a home of their own.

v

I don't Spring Clean because ...

I love all the seasons and don't want the others to get jealous

v

I don't pull weeds in the garden because

I don't want to get in God's way, HE is an excellent designer!

v

I don't put things away because ...

My husband will never be able to find them again.

v
I don't do gourmet meals
when I entertain because .

I don't want my guests to stress out over what to make when they invite me over for dinner.

v

I don't iron because .

I choose to believe them when they say

"Permanent Press".

v

I don't stress much on anything because

. "A Type"

personalities die young and I want to stick around

and become a wrinkled up crusty ol' woman!!!!

REMEMBER . . . .
#######################

The safest way to double your money is to fold

over once

and put it in your pocket
#####################




-