A busy few days
You're worth it! Sometimes we just need to be reminded! A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20.00 bill.
And remember that amateurs built the ark
Su Wong marries Lee Wong.
The next year, the Wongs have a new baby.
The nurse brings over a lovely, healthy, bouncy,but definitely a Caucasian, WHITE baby boy.
'Congratulations,' says the nurse to the new parents.
Well Mr. Wong, what will you and Mrs. Wong name the baby?'
The puzzled father looks at his new baby boy and says,'Well, two Wong's don't make a white,so I think we will name him...
Are you ready for this?
Sum Ting Wong
Her neighbor replies,"Well, it may sound absurd but here's what to do.
In the morning they'll all be red, you'll see."
She says Well, what the heck it can't hurt to try it.
Next day her neighbor asks how it worked.
"So-so," she answers.
"The tomatoes are still green but the cucumbers are all four inches longer."
Why parents drink The boss wondered why one of his most valued employee had not phoned in sick one day. Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper. 'Hello ?'
'Is your daddy home?' he asked.
' Yes ,' whispered the small voice.
'May I talk with him?'
The child whispered, 'No.'
Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, 'Is your Mommy there?'
'May I talk with her?'
Again the small voice whispered, 'No .'
Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, 'Is anybody else t here?'
'Yes ,' whispered the child, 'a policeman '. Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, 'May I speak with the policeman?'
' No, he's busy ', whispered the child.
'Busy doing what?'
'Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman ,' came the whispered answer.
Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, 'What is that noise?'
'A helicopter ' answered the whispering voice.
'What is going on there?' demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.
Again, whispering, the child answered, The search team just landed a helicopter . '
Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, 'What are they searching for?'
Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle...
A minister decided to do something a little different one Sunday morning.
He said 'Today, in church, I am going to say a single word and you are going to help me preach.Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn that comes to your mind'
The pastor shouted out 'CROSS. Immediately the congregation started singing in unison, 'THE OLD RUGGED CROSS.
'The pastor hollered out 'GRACE.' The congregation began to sing 'AMAZING GRACE, how sweet the sound.
'The pastor said 'POWER.' The congregation sang 'THERE IS POWER IN THE BLOOD.
'The Pastor said 'SEX' The congregation fell into total silence.
Everyone was in shock.
They all nervously began to look around at each other afraid to say anything.
Then all of a sudden, way from in the back of the church, A little old 87 year old grandmother stood up and began to sing 'MEMORIES.
Love Little Old Ladies.
Laugh... It burns calories
Hope these brightened someones day ..Cheers \_/ \_/ \_/
Labels: Humour - Mixed