Saturday, December 15, 2007

A little Laughter


Hi Everyone, Its that time of the year when everyone is busy shopping and preparing for Christmas, I think ive finished just have to get the fresh produce in at the end of the week. Ive had a busy week Tuesday played pennant , Wednesday social bowls , Thursday Indoor carpet bowls plus Break up for xmas , Friday seen my Specialist Good news there , Just have to go for Ct scan, ultra sound etc in Febuary as it will be twelve months since the last tests, and also did some xmas shopping

, Today Saturday we had our girls get together at Gwens aand as usual had a great day.
Tomorrow Sunday maybe a day in the garden to tidy up before Christmas .

So tonight just thought I would share a little laughter,,,
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
Two ladies talking in heaven:
1st woman: Hi! My name is Wanda.
2nd woman: Hi! I'm Sylvia. How'd you die?
1st woman: I Froze to Death.
2nd woman: How Horrible!
1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I
Began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death.
What about you?
2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my
Husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act.
But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.
1st woman: So, what happened?
2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere
That I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the
Attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through
Every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I
Had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just
Keeled over with a heart attack and died.

1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer...
We'd both still be alive.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE POLITE WAY TO PEE
During one of her daily classes a teacher trying to teach good
manners ,asked her students the following question:
'Michael", if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady,
how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?'
Michael said, 'Just a minute I have to go pee.'
The teacher responded by saying, 'That would be rude and impolite.
What about you Peter, how would you say it?'
Peter said, 'I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom.I'll
be right back.'
'That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom
at the dinner table.
And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show Us
your good manners?'
I would say: 'Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have
to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope you'll get to meet
after dinner.'
The teacher fainted.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Vampire bat
A vampire bat came flapping in from the night, face all covered in freshBlood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep.Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood & began hassling him about where he got it. He told them to pss off and let him get some sleep, but they persisted until he finally gave in.
"OK, follow me", he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of excited bats behind him. Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a huge forest.Finally he slowed down & all the other bats excitedly milled around him,tongues hanging out for blood.
"Do you see that large oak tree over there?" he asked.
"YES, YES, YES!!!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy."Good for you!" said the bat, "Because I ****didn't."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE TIRED OLD GENIE DOES A FINAL WISH
A truck driver was tooling down the highway one afternoon and heard a "pop." Thinking that perhaps he had blown a tire, he steered the rig onto the shoulder and walked back to check his tires.He found a bottle laying in the gutter. He picked it up and wiped off the label to see what kind of bottle it was when a very old genie popped out.
The genie said, "Man, I'm too old for this! You get one wish -- not three -- just one."
The driver thought long and hard, and finally said, "It would be really nice for all the bridges to be wide enough that over-sized loads could get through without any trouble."
The genie said, "Do you know how many bridges that would be?! Can't you come up with something simpler?"
The driver replied, "How about if you make all the blondes as smart as brunettes?"
The genie shook his head vigorously and answered, "How wide would you like those bridges?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE BLONDE TELEGRAM
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch.
Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble.
In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.
The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale.Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.
"The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.
She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch.
I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home." The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word."Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word. After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word, 'comfortable.
'"The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word,
'comfortable'?"
The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde, she'll read it very slow."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
They say it takes a minute to find a special person,

an hour to appreciate them

a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them. . .

Take the time...to live and ! love.

27 Comments:

Blogger Merle said...

Dear Jan ~~ Great post with the jokes and the good news from your specialist. That is terrifix. The jokes were good also, I thing the Bathroom one won for me tonight.
You sure have been busy with bowls.
I am looking forward to going to Kathy's home for Christmas.
Take care, my friend, Love, Merle.
We soon will be able to just count the sleeps till Christmas !!

December 15, 2007 10:52 pm  
Blogger smilnsigh said...

Wow! In a comment, you said you had a computer crash! Eeeeeeeeeek! Hope you get back, blog addy's which you lost.

I love to have mine, on Google Reader. Even if I had some sort of computer crash...... They would be at my Google Reader site, when I got back and accessed it again.

Happy days left to Christmas,
Mari-Nanci

December 16, 2007 1:45 am  
Blogger Yellow Rose Arbor said...

Thanks for visiting my blog, I hope you'll return for the tour of homes Monday. I'm trying to get a lot of my decorations posted by then.

Enjoyed your blog, had some good laughs at the jokes!

Katherine

December 16, 2007 4:11 am  
Blogger meggie said...

Thankyou for the jokes! Just what I needed.
You are very busy, but i guess most of us are around now! LOL

December 16, 2007 6:43 am  
Blogger Lady Di Tn said...

Sounds like you are a busy gal.
LOL at the bathroom joke.
Have a great weekend
peace

December 16, 2007 11:26 am  
Blogger Susie said...

Hi Jan,
Loved your jokes, especially the woman in the freezer. Bill heard me laughing and had to come in here to see what was so funny.
xo

December 16, 2007 2:01 pm  
Blogger Sonia said...

Joke and laugh is always a healthy thing! Love much the woman in the freezer! LOL! Thank you!

December 17, 2007 6:30 am  
Blogger Sorlil said...

Thanks for the laughs and the birthday wishes. Just about done with my Christmas shopping too so feeling rather smug!!

December 17, 2007 11:36 am  
Blogger Peggy said...

Just read your jokes to william. he loved the truckdriver one the best and is still laughing

December 17, 2007 1:00 pm  
Blogger Janice said...

Jeantte,

LOL on the polite pee.

I'm getting a lot of shopping done too.

Happy Holidays,
Janice~

December 17, 2007 2:39 pm  
Blogger Jim said...

Hi Jen, your blonde jokes are good.

I've heard people who hide in the freezer from jealous wives can have some trouble getting into heaven.
..

December 17, 2007 6:20 pm  
Blogger Gledwood said...

OK... slight tangential thing here... but I used to know a pretty psychedelic lady called Genie... seriously she really looked like she ought to be manifesting out of a huge puff of smoke by the rub of a brass lamp..!

Have a great Xmas
and a Fantastic New Year Jeanette

Lots of love

xxx
gleds!
;->...

December 18, 2007 6:11 am  
Blogger Alice said...

Glad you had good news from your specialist--that has to make the holidays even better. I read your jokes to my husband so he could laugh too.

December 18, 2007 7:55 am  
Blogger Renae said...

Hello !! Happy Christmas to you and yours!! We are going home for Christmas this year.( my parents) All my siblings will be home!! I can't wait!! I think I have as much shopping done as I can. We have to pack it up and take it with us...( the smaller stuff)...

Many Blessings and love from my kitchen to yours this Holiday Season!!! Cheers!!

December 18, 2007 8:54 am  
Blogger Yellow Rose Arbor said...

Thanks for touring my home. I hope you had a cup of tea and cookies before you left!

Merry Christmas!

Katherine

December 18, 2007 11:10 am  
Blogger Puss-in-Boots said...

Hi Jen, thank for the laughs. Glad you're all organised for Christmas...I'm just about there. Like you it's mainly the fresh produce. I'll get that Monday, along with the prawns and smoked salmon.

Amazing isn't it, the trouble we go to for one day?

Have a wonderful Christmas, Jen. Hugs.

December 18, 2007 9:26 pm  
Blogger Hootin' Anni said...

Sounds to me that you're bowling a lot, that's good. I'd love to try this myself one day.

Good results/news from your doctors. AND THAT is always good to read.

Love the jokes, as always. I'm here to send along wishes to you and yours for a great holiday, my friend.

December 18, 2007 11:12 pm  
Blogger LZ Blogger said...

Jen - Some very funny stuff here! I hope that you have a Very Merry Christmas! ~ jb///

December 19, 2007 1:27 am  
Blogger Heart of Rachel said...

Hi Jeanette. Thanks for always giving your readers the gift of laughter.

Hope you're doing great. I'm off to meet my best friend for lunch.

Have a festive Christmas ahead. Take care.

December 19, 2007 11:51 am  
Blogger Meow (aka Connie) said...

Hi Jeanette,
Glad to hear you are all organised ... I am almost there ... just one more small present to buy, then the groceries (after a lunch with a couple blog friends tomorrow ... yay!). A little bit of wrapping needs doing too. Otherwise, I'm sorted.
Hope you have a wonderful Christmas and a safe and Happy new Year.
Catch up in the New Year
Take care, Meow xx

December 19, 2007 11:12 pm  
Blogger Pamela said...

okay.. I loved 'em all.

December 20, 2007 6:38 pm  
Blogger Gattina said...

You lucky girl can sit and rest in your garden ! Here it is unusually cold for December - 4 ° !
Thanks for your comment on my home decoration !

December 20, 2007 10:38 pm  
Blogger Gwen said...

Hi Mate .
Great jokes and plenty of giggles,
will see you saturday.
Love always xoxo

December 20, 2007 11:38 pm  
Blogger Merle said...

Hi again Jan ~ ~ Thank you for your comments. Sorry you missed Olive, it was very good. I hope you had some luck playing bowls. I hope you and the family have a wonderful Christmas
and a happy, healthy and prosperous
New Year in 2008. Take care and enjoy all the fun and games.
Lots of Love, Merle.

December 21, 2007 1:04 am  
Blogger colleen said...

Cheers!! And Merry!!

December 21, 2007 1:27 am  
Blogger UKBob said...

Hi Jen, I'm pleased to hear everything went okay at the specialist, I know what a worry that sort of thing can be. Everything seems to be rush rush rush at this time of the year. The family came to the big house for Christmas but as yet I haven't seen anything of them. Bob.

December 21, 2007 9:53 am  
Blogger Lady Di Tn said...

good one. lol
Please extend my congratulations to the happy couple.
Merry Christmas

December 25, 2007 1:36 am  

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