A little Laughter

Hi Everyone, Its that time of the year when everyone is busy shopping and preparing for Christmas, I think ive finished just have to get the fresh produce in at the end of the week. Ive had a busy week Tuesday played pennant , Wednesday social bowls , Thursday Indoor carpet bowls plus Break up for xmas , Friday seen my Specialist Good news there , Just have to go for Ct scan, ultra sound etc in Febuary as it will be twelve months since the last tests, and also did some xmas shopping

, Today Saturday we had our girls get together at Gwens aand as usual had a great day.
Tomorrow Sunday maybe a day in the garden to tidy up before Christmas .

So tonight just thought I would share a little laughter,,,
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Two ladies talking in heaven:
1st woman: Hi! My name is Wanda.
2nd woman: Hi! I'm Sylvia. How'd you die?
1st woman: I Froze to Death.
2nd woman: How Horrible!
1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I
Began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death.
What about you?
2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my
Husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act.
But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.
1st woman: So, what happened?
2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere
That I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the
Attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through
Every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I
Had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just
Keeled over with a heart attack and died.
1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer...
We'd both still be alive.

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THE POLITE WAY TO PEE
During one of her daily classes a teacher trying to teach good
manners ,asked her students the following question:
'Michael", if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady,
how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?'
Michael said, 'Just a minute I have to go pee.'
The teacher responded by saying, 'That would be rude and impolite.
What about you Peter, how would you say it?'
Peter said, 'I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom.I'll
be right back.'
'That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom
at the dinner table.
And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show Us
your good manners?'
I would say: 'Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have
to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope you'll get to meet
after dinner.'
The teacher fainted.

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Vampire bat
A vampire bat came flapping in from the night, face all covered in freshBlood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep.Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood & began hassling him about where he got it. He told them to pss off and let him get some sleep, but they persisted until he finally gave in.
"OK, follow me", he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of excited bats behind him. Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a huge forest.Finally he slowed down & all the other bats excitedly milled around him,tongues hanging out for blood.
"Do you see that large oak tree over there?" he asked.
"YES, YES, YES!!!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy."Good for you!" said the bat, "Because I ****didn't."

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THE TIRED OLD GENIE DOES A FINAL WISH
A truck driver was tooling down the highway one afternoon and heard a "pop." Thinking that perhaps he had blown a tire, he steered the rig onto the shoulder and walked back to check his tires.He found a bottle laying in the gutter. He picked it up and wiped off the label to see what kind of bottle it was when a very old genie popped out.
The genie said, "Man, I'm too old for this! You get one wish -- not three -- just one."
The driver thought long and hard, and finally said, "It would be really nice for all the bridges to be wide enough that over-sized loads could get through without any trouble."
The genie said, "Do you know how many bridges that would be?! Can't you come up with something simpler?"
The driver replied, "How about if you make all the blondes as smart as brunettes?"
The genie shook his head vigorously and answered, "How wide would you like those bridges?"

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THE BLONDE TELEGRAM
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch.

Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble.

In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.

The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale.Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.

"The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.

She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch.

I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home." The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word."Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word. After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word, 'comfortable.

'"The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word,

'comfortable'?"

The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde, she'll read it very slow."
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They say it takes a minute to find a special person,

an hour to appreciate them

a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them. . .

Take the time...to live and ! love.