TAXI

Well another busy few days.

After arriving home from Melbourne played bowls,had a phone call from my mate Gwen, and yep another trip to Melbourne this time I was given 10 minutes notice well that was the easy part ,as we were going down and back in same day but alas thankfully that never happened,this time stayed at Gwens daughter. Well the next morning I went to use my mobile phone but discovered I misplaced it, so Gwen used her phone to find mine someone answered it in a foreign voice and said! "It was at the fish shop "were we stopped to get a bite to eat the night before.So off to get pick up phone I was lucky to get it back, as it must have fallen out of my pocket while we were sitting waiting for our fish and chips and lucky the owner found it before anyone had the chance to pick it up. Now back home and hopefully thats the last trip for a while.

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Now its joke time

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A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver
a question and tapped him on the shoulder.
The driver screamed, lost control of the cab,nearly
hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just
inches from a large plate glass window.

For a few moments everything was silent in the cab,
and then the still shaking driver said, "I'm sorry
but you scared the daylights out of me."

The frightened passenger apologised to the driver
and said he didn't realise a mere tap on the shoulder
could frighten him so much.

The driver replied, "No, no, I'm sorry, it's entirely
my fault.
Today is my first day driving a cab.
I've been driving a hearse for the last 25 years."

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Why are wedding dresses white?

Son asked his mother the following question:
"Mum, why are wedding dresses white?"
The mother looks at her son and replies,
'Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure."
The son thanks his Mum and goes off to double-check this with his
father.
"Dad why are wedding dresses white?"
The father looks at his son in surprise and says .......
"Son, all household appliances come in white."

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Little Johnny and his father were playing catch in the front yard when the boy saw a honey bee. He ran over and stomped it."That was a honey bee," his father said, "one of our friends.

For stomping him you will do without honey for a week.

"Later, Little Johnny saw a butterfly, so he ran over and stomped it."That was a butterfly," his father said, "one of our friends, and for stomping him you will do without butter for a week."

The next morning the family sat down for breakfast.

The boy ate his plain toast with no honey or butter.

Suddenly a cockroach ran out from under the stove. His mother stomped it.
Little Johnny looked at his father and said,

"Are you going to tell her, Dad, or should I?"

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Gardening Rule:

When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it.

If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

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The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.